Monday, October 19, 2009

Middle of the Night/Monday Morning Bullets - Catch Up Edition

  • OMG. I can't believe that it's been 2 months since my last post. I haven't even been that busy.

  • I've really missed everyone, though. I finally logged onto my Google Reader, and I'm desperately trying to catch up on everything.

  • In the last 2 months, I have managed to master like every Facebook game possible. Y'all would seriously be impressed with my Farmville skills. Or maybe not because staring at a fake farm waiting to harvest crops all day is kind of lame.

  • I'm really loving my new town. It's super friendly, and way less crowded than Houston. I've made a new friend. She's all young and cool and just bought condo downtown. I felt so old because all I could think about when I saw it was that I could never fit all of Kaeli's crap into it. But the apartment has this awesome balcony where you can watch drunk people stumbling out of restaurants and trendy clubs.

  • There has been a lot of adjusting going on since the move and engagement. Living with a boy when it has just been me and Kaeli for so long is really weird. The increase in laundry by adding just one person is seriously unbelievable. It never stops. And do you realize that guys can't eat just one of ANYTHING? In fact, they must eat 3 of your favorite yogurts in 1 sitting, therefore, leaving you with none!! And guys also don't appreciate your love of Gossip Girl, but can be coerced into watching Project Runway and even the new Models of the Runway. I figure that is a win.

  • Kaeli started 2nd grade and is totally loving her new school. At the parent/teacher conference last week, her teacher said she fit right in and made friends in about 2 seconds. I wasn't really worried about it because Kaeli is a social butterfly, but it was really nice to hear.

  • We have seemed to reach the stage where a certain 2nd grade boy teases Kaeli relentlessly, Kaeli then cries and says that he is so mean, but she NEVER STOPS TALKING ABOUT HIM. I like to torture her by asking if she "likes" said boy because she gets so annoyed, rolls her eyes, and says that they "are just friends". 2nd grade, people. 2nd freaking grade!!!

  • I haven't gone back to work just yet. I did start really looking last week or so. It's been so nice to be home! I've loved how much time I've gotten to spend with Kaeli, but now it's getting kind of boring. She is at school all day, and there are only so many One Tree Hill reruns a girl can handle. Again, I stress the mastery of all things Facebook. Plus, the Working Girl inside of me is screaming to be let out. She needs to stare at Excel and play with spreadsheets and make office small talk while getting coffee!!!

  • I've done a little wedding planning, but not near as much as I need to. We found the venue that we both love, but haven't signed the contract yet. Rob is being all boring and practical and thinks I should actually have a job before we dive into wedding expenses. Whatevs. Money grows on trees, doesn't it??

  • So. remember my ridiculous Twilight/Edward Cullen obsession? It's turned into a serious sickness. I don't know if y'all realize how many teen vampire novels are out there. I'm addicted to at least 2 more series. I can't stop. It's kind of sad that when I go into a bookstore I head straight for the young adult section.

And for your dose of is Kaeli on the first Cold Enough for a Hat Day of the season last week!!

p.s. the whole messenger style tote bag is the IN thing, apparently. Kaeli HAD to have it since all the kids in her class do too. 2nd grade has definitely become the grade where EVERYTHING MATTERS.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Let's just pretend it hasn't been a month since we last spoke

We have a lot to discuss my blog friends!

I really don't even know where to start.

I'll just start with the biggest most exciting fun news EVER.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He proposed on the Bow Bridge in Central Park on our fun trip to NYC. I'm normally the girl who loves to tell a good story, but I'm seriously at a loss for words when I try to talk about it. I was hoping it would happen. I was even kind of expecting it, but I was still totally shocked when he got down on one knee!! It was all very cheesy and sweet and perfect!

This explains my absense from the blog world. I'm spending all of my time reading wedding magazines and playing on The Knot!

I'm getting married! YAY!!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I Officially Hate Moving

What was I thinking when I decided to pack my own boxes?

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Procrastinators should never be put in charge of packing.

I have too much stuff.

So tired.

This sucks.

The End.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

7?!! How is she already 7?

**So this post has been sitting UNFINISHED for weeks. I'm a slacker mom**

Today is Kaeli's 7th birthday! (by today I mean 2 weeks ago...)

I seriously can't believe how fast 7 years has gone by.

I have to say that this past year has been one of my favorites. She really has grown up so much.
Case in point - She used "Touche" in a conversation we had the other day. And she used it CORRECTLY.

I love the person she is growing into.

Let's travel down memory lane, shall we.

Baby Kaeli!! Oh how I miss that squishy tummy.

2 year old Kaeli! One of my most favorite pictures EVER.

3 year old rockstar Kaeli

4 year old Princess Kaeli...I LOVED HER HAIR...I was obsessed with her little curls...I miss them everyday.
More 4 year old Kaeli...she carried a book EVERYWHERE
5 year old Kaeli...such a sweet little face!
6 year old Kaeli...Seriously fun age!!

And now...7 year old Kaeli...attitude and all

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The powers that be blocked blogger at work!! Do they really think they can stop me?I will not be silenced!!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I think a discussion over proper use of a toilet seat is in my future

Remember how I casually mentioned that there was a reason I haven't been blogging much?

Well, I am ready to share it with the blogosphere.

Y'all are waiting with bated breath, aren't you?

Okay. Here it goes.


Wow. How is that for anticlimactic?

Rob and I have reached the threshold on the length of a long distance relationship , and we decided it was time that Kaeli and I moved to his city. I pretend like we spent so much time debating who's city we would move too, but really there was never that much doubt. I like Houston, but I don't LOVE Houston so it won't be too hard to say goodbye. (Peace out, hurricane season. I am so not scared of you anymore.) Plus, quite frankly, his job is just better than mine. We found a house (to rent, of course...i am so not ready for the responsibility of my own home), and I am officially moving in 2 1/2 weeks. We've talked about it for a while, and it feels so weird that the time is already here.

I didn't want to put it down on the blog until things were final, and all important people had been notified. (i.e. - My boss because even though no one at work really knows about my blog, it would be just my luck that someone would stumble upon it before I had the chance to say anything. Not that anyone I work with really even knows what a blog is.)

I found it impossible to pull together a coherent post when all I really wanted to do was announce the move. I tried a bunch of times, but always left the post unfinished. I guess now y'all get to be inundated with all of the mundane stuff that happened in the last month. Lucky!!

Well, I am so glad that is out of the bag.

In a couple of weeks, I will be living with a boy. So weird.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Emotional Minefield that is Raising an (Almost) 7 Year Old

OMG, y'all.

This whole raising a girl thing is IN-Freaking-SANE.

Kaeli has always been on the creative side. She's crafty and artsy. She talks about becoming a fashion designer when she grows up because she (and I quote) "just loves clothes so much and it is so fun to make styles." Since the day she could hold a crayon, she has been obsessed with notebooks and journals. She has them all over her room with drawings and short written passages.

Her creative flair has always been one of my favorite things about her. Kaeli and I are A LOT alike, but this is a quality she most definitely did not inherit from me. I love seeing all the ways she is growing into her own little person.

She also tends to be sensitive and dramatic (ok so the dramatic thing might be straight from my genes to hers but whatever).

Now on to my point. Kaeli has always shared her creative genius with me. She's always brought the journals and drawings to me so that we can look through them together. She never seemed to think of them as private or anything.

Until last weekend.

My friend gave Kaeli a little Hannah Montana notebook with cool colored pens. When Kaeli was in the other room playing with my friend's son, I, absentmindedly, picked up the notebook and started flipping through it.

Kaeli walked into the room to find me looking through the book, and had a complete and utter MELTDOWN. OMG. The crying. And the yelling about privacy and secret journals. And the crying. And she was so embarrassed. (In case you're curious, all she had written down was that she was in love with my friend's son, M. I think she caught me chuckling about it.) I sat there in shock because I have never seen her react this way before.

I apparently committed the absolute worse offense ever in her young life (Good thing she doesn't remember the baby years. She would be so mad if she knew all the first time mom dumb things that happened.) I have truly never seen her so angry and upset with me. I felt awful. I even bribed her with $2 and a pinky swear that I will never go through her journals again.

It amazes me that we can go from sharing everything, and, out of nowhere, she needs space and privacy. Her 7th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and she always gets a little "feisty" right before she turns a year older. I'm wondering if it's just a short term thing because she realizes she is almost 7 (and therefore totally grown up in her own eyes), or if we really are heading into a new stage of the growing up process. I mean, dudes, she's not even 7 yet. Isn't this all supposed to happen when she is older? I remember getting mad at my mom and sister when they would go through my journals. Their constant perusal of my inner thoughts is the reason I stopped writing them down. But, y'all, I was 11 when all of this crap started becoming important to me!

I guess it's time to brush up on my spy skills because I'm going to have to get a hell of a lot sneakier if we are to survive this phase!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Hope You Have Some Time and a Full Beverage because It's a Long One

I feel like I have been seriously neglecting my poor little blog. It feels like I have so much to write about, but then I sit down to do it and nothing comes to mind! There kind of is a reason, but that's a different post for a different day.

(I'm so mysterious and intriguing, aren't I?)

So I guess y'all get a rambling, no clear point to it, catch up post.

Rambling #1
A couple weeks ago, Rob and I took Kaeli to Sea World for a little End of 1st Grade and Congrats on Being a Totally Awesome Kid Celebration. I hadn't actually been before, so I might have been just as excited as Kaeli. I planned on having 87 million pictures to show everyone, but I'm a genius and forgot to charge my camera. We ended up buying Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras at the gift shop. (Which I had totally forgotten how to use. Winding up and holding the flash and not being able to tell if I have a weird look on my face after taking a picture is so 1998!) The problem with Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras is that you have to actually take them somewhere and get them developed. Which means that the Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras will probably sit on my counter until the end of summer.

The problem with Sea World is that now I sit in my cubicle thinking that I missed my calling in life. I SO should have become a dolphin trainer. There was this dolphin feeding area where we bought trays of fish and got to STAND RIGHT NEXT TO DOLPHINS AND FEED THEM. It was my favorite part of the day. They're so friendly and cute. I felt like an excited little kid. I forgot how much I loved dolphins when I was younger until I was literally inches from one. I might have gone through 6 trays of fish and had to be reminded (more than once) to share by my 6 year old daughter.

The Sea World trip wasn't all sunshine and happy dolphins. I also realized, more than ever, that guys are seriously ridiculous. No really. They can't help it. And by guys I mean Rob and the Minivan Driver at the Sea World Entrance. Stay with me here because it's going to get super run-on sentence like. The park opened at 10am, so you can imagine that at 10:22am the entrance was beyond crowded. First, there was an area to pay for parking, and then the 3 lanes merged to 2 lanes. Rob and I were in the far lane and needed to merge. Everyone was following proper crowded park merging etiquette. You know, the whole each car lets one car in thing. It was our turn to merge. Rob was driving, and I notice that the Minivan driver was not going to let us in, and it would be better to wait for the next car. I tell this to Rob, but Macho Man Syndrome sets in and he becomes DETERMINED to merge at this EXACT moment. Rob and Minivan Driver do the whole keep scooting up until someone gives in thing, and my voice is increasing in volume because we're in my new car and seriously what is the point of acting like an idiot. Then, the Minivan driver starts honking and calling Rob a motherf*cker, which I thought was really classy seeing as how all of us have kids in the car and his minivan had a Christian Fish Symbol on it. Finally, Rob backs down and lets the Minivan driver win, but I was totally pissed. It was completely ridiculous behaviour, right? Does it really matter if we are behind or in front of the minivan. There are HUNDREDS of cars in line. We are all going to the same place. It's going to take some time and patience!!! Plus was the little display of macho-ness really worth pissing me off and ruining what was a very nice and peaceful morning? Guys + Cars + Long Lines = Unbelievably Childish Behaviour.

Ok. Rant over. Thanks to those of y'all who made it through that story!

Rambling #2
One of my very favorite people in the whole wide world is moving very far away, and I'm super sad about it. My BFF's (I call her P-squared) hubby is in the Air Force and got orders to go to Germany for the next 4 years. I'm super excited for her because traveling Europe = Awesome, but I am so bummed that I won't be able to see her whenever I want. We've lived with in weekend visiting distance forever. Of course there will be visiting, but how realistic is it to think that we will see each other even once a year? And how the hell does international text messaging work? Is there even a plan for that because OMG what am I going to do if I can't text her 50 times a day? P^2 has a son, M, that is a few weeks younger than Kaeli. Kaeli and M have been super close since they were in the womb! It's so weird that for the next four years I won't be able to see him growing up. Not to mention that her and the hubby have been trying to have another baby, and the thought that they could come back to the states with a little P^2 who I don't know is heartbreaking.

Rambling #3
This conversation took place between the sons of P^2 and another friend. Both boys are 6.

J: Hey, M do you know Kaeli?
M: Yeah. She's kind of my cousin*.
J: She's really pretty.

* M calls Rob uncle, even though Rob isn't his actual uncle. M is convinced that if Rob and I ever get married, he and Kaeli will be cousins.

How effing cute is all of that? This age is fun.

Rambling #4
If you follow me on Twitter (kristi_kp...but why would you because I'm awfully boring) then you know I revealed a shameful secret. I have this strange desire to read Lauren Conrad's book LA Candy. I can't even explain why. You can stop wanting to be my friends now. I understand.

I could keep rambling. It's one of my specialties, but I think y'all have been through enough torture. I totally get it if you just skimmed.

On a side note, I feel so much better getting all of this out there. I really shouldn't take accidental blogging breaks anymore!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Thank You, Jimmy Fallon For Making A Girl's Dream Come True

Jimmy Fallon is on a noble crusade to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell.

Y'all can't even begin to imagine how much I want to see this happen.

Check out my first love, Zack Morris, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon!

(it's kind of long, but worth every second)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Let This Be One of those Things She Forgets When She Gets Older

I think I just took the award for the most ridiculous and pointless thing ever said to a 6 year old.

Kaeli has been having some listening issues lately, and it's grinding on my last nerve. My usually sweet, well-behaved, and compliant daughter literally hears nothing that comes out of my mouth. I have to say something 5 times before she acknowledges me, and even then she barely carries out any of the tasks I ask her to do.

I'm pretty positive that this phase is brought on by the end of the school year. It's the last week of school, and I think both of us are just tired of the routine. We're both irritable and exhausted.

Last night, after battling with her for what felt like an eternity (but was probably only 20 minutes) I took away TV privileges for the rest of the school year. (school ends Thursday, but I thought it sounded more drastic worded the other way!!) She did not take this well and mumbled under her breath all the way to her bedroom. This morning, she was complaining about how mean and unfair I was for taking away the TV (the kid needs her Disney channel), and I said something that I'm still shaking my head about.

Kaeli: But it's not fair that you get to watch TV and I don't.
Me: (are y'all ready for this piece of brilliance that I am about to share?) Well, I listen to me so I get to watch TV. You don't listen to me so you don't get to watch TV.

Seriously? I LISTEN TO ME. It doesn't even make sense. As soon as it came out of my mouth I knew it was stupid. At the same time, I realized it was totally something my own mother would say which freaks me out on so many levels. When did I turn into my mother? I didn't see that happen at all.

If I expect to be able to battle with her when she is a teenager, I am going to have to have better comebacks. Dear God that one was shameful!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Because I Haven't Mentioned Edward Cullen in Forever

Y'all know I had no choice but to jump on the leaked New Moon movie poster bandwagon, right. I just have no control over my Edward Cullen impulses.

I just have to say that I LOVE THIS MOVIE POSTER. The only way it would be better is if *I* had any acting talent whatsoever, was cast as Bella Swan, and got to make-out with Edward Cullen all day long.

Would y'all think I was super ridiculous if I already had the movie release date set in my iPhone? That's totally normal, right? RIGHT?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday Scorecard

  • My bed was so comfortable this morning that I hit the snooze 3 times. Monday -1
  • I had 2 cups of coffee before 7am, seriously increasing my perkiness level. Monday +1
  • I am having a super cute hair day. Monday +1
  • Kaeli was unbelievable sweet and cooperative this morning. Monday +1
  • The card reader on the bus wasn't working. Free ride to work. Monday +1
  • The guy sitting next to me smelled like stale leftovers. Monday -1
  • Traffic seriously sucked. Took forever to get to work. Monday -1
  • Dancing with the Stars finale and The Bachelorette with Jillian starts tonight. Monday +1

Looks like I'm up 5 to 3. Suck it, Monday!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Kaeli Sound Bites

The Set-up:
When Kaeli was at the park with her grandma today, she fell while running around the track. The track is made of gravel, and her hands and knees were covered in scrapes. No lie, she looked like she had been dragged through rocks.

Me: Oh My Goodness, Kaeli! You look awful.
Kaeli: Just what every girl loves to hear. Thanks.

I have no idea where she picked up that kind of sarcasm.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

More Car Talk

Last Friday, I had an appointment with my insurance adjuster to get an estimate for the damage to my flooded car. After all of my Google searching and unsolicited advice from coworkers, I was a little nervous about the outcome of this meeting.

(Turns out that there are so many flood claims in good old H-town right now that, they had to fly the guy I met with in from Maryland just to handle the demand!)

The guy was really nice. He determined that since my car was still running and drivable that the damage wasn't too bad. He worked up an estimate, and I left my precious car in the very capable hands of the men at the "flood specialist" repair shop with the assurance that it would be done in a few days.

As I was driving home in my rental car, I had mixed feelings about the outcome. On one hand I was happy that I would get my car back, but on the other, I was worried about the future value and safety of my car.

Turns out that all the worrying was pointless because, the next day (Saturday), my insurance guy called to tell me that after further inspection, they realized water got into a lot of my electrical stuff. He decided to total my car.

My cute little car is gone. I had already taken everything out, so I'll never see it again.

Upon hearing this news, Rob immediately went into "guy problem solving mode". He immediately got on the Internet, and two hours after hearing about my car I found myself being dragged around a car dealership.

I really was only going to look, but then I saw the exact car I wanted. The car that had been in the back of my mind ever since someone mentioned that my flooded car was most likely totalled. The car that I didn't let myself think too much about because (1) I didn't want to get my hopes up and (2) I felt like I was betraying my flooded car.

Kaeli was really excited to go car shopping. She suggested that I buy a limo and just hire a butler to drive us around. I really love the way that girl thinks!

So, barely a week after the super stressful flooding, I'm driving around in my new car! It's wonderful and pretty and I got a good deal and I LOVE IT. It's so much bigger than my old car (it was a Mazda 3). It is a little sad to think that my days of a small cute car are over for a while. We were growing out of the old car anyway, so, while the timing wasn't exactly what I had planned, everything worked out for the best.

I guess all of my hopes and prayers from the last post were answered because the whole process could not have been easier.

After driving my old Mazda for 4 years, I couldn't imagine not having another one so:
Check out my Mazda CX-7. YAY!!

Isn't Kaeli so cute in her gymnastics leotard?

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Oh, There's More...

Just having a flooded car wasn't enough to make yesterday go down in history as one of the Top 5 crappiest days I've ever had.

After dealing with all of the car stress, Kaeli and I went inside to clean up and try to relax a little bit. Up until this point, our dog, Maverick had been seriously neglected because so much was going on. We put his leash on, and took him for a nice walk.

Things were going just fine. The sun had come out, and all of roads had dried up. Quite frankly, unless you had spent your morning trying to salvage your car, it was a pretty day.

I noticed a couple of kids petting a dog that wasn't on a leash. I thought nothing of it until the rather large dog started CHARGING my 11lb. poodle mix. I told Kaeli to get away, and I tried to pick up Maverick before the dog could get to him, but the mean dog was too fast. He's barking and trying to bite Maverick, Mav is trying to get out of the way, and I'm trying, in vain, to get my little dog off of the ground to safety. The next thing I know, mean dog has a hold of Mav's tail and Kaeli is watching and FREAKING OUT. I'm trying to scare the dog away, but it's not working. Maverick manages to wiggle out of his collar (since I still have the leash) and take off running towards home. In hindsight, I guess I could have let go of the leash and let Maverick go running right away, but I kept picturing mean dog chasing him down and hurting him since I wouldn't have been there to protect Maverick. Finally, the mean dog runs the other way. I get Kaeli and Maverick into the apartment, and go looking for mean dog's owners.

The mean dog is chilling in the grass, and the kids are petting him. They don't know who's dog it is. In fact, no one in the whole complex knows who owns this dog. The kids totally ignored me when I said that they probably should be more careful around it. He seemed okay around people, but they had just watched what he tried to do to my dog. It didn't seem to phase the kids at all.

He had a collar, but I wasn't going to get close enough to look. I'm assuming that he got out of someone's yard. I was going to call animal control or something, so that they could handle the issue, but then the dog disappeared.

Thankfully, Maverick seems ok. As soon as we got into the apartment he was wagging is tail. I checked him for puncture wounds, but I don't think the mean dog ever got a good grip on him. Maverick is little, but he's scrappy.

I walked away from it the most injured. I have a huge burn from when the retractable leash wrapped around my arm during the dog rescuing efforts. Not to mention that now I'm totally terrified to take Maverick out for a walk. I'm also rethinking the retractable leash idea.

Maverick has always driven me a little crazy. He has destroyed my shoe collection, chewed up Kaeli's toys, and, when he gets really mad at me, he urinates in his crate and rolls in it so that he's completely soaked in dog piss. Then, as I was petting him and showering him with extra attention last night, I realized that I would be devastated if something ever happened to him. As annoying as he can be, he has firmly implanted himself as part of this family. I don't want to wish bad things on an animal, but I seriously hate that other dog for even coming near Mav.

The whole incident probably lasted a minute, but it was a seriously long minute. Like a slow motion minute that was just icing on the cake of one of the longest days ever.

I Will Never Look at Water the Same Way Again

Yesterday was one of those days that just sucks ass. There is no eloquent way to describe the shittiness of my Tuesday.

3am - Early Morning Storms

Kaeli came into my room, and asked to sleep in my bed because she was scared by the thunderstorm. Until she came in, I didn't even know there was a storm. It turned out to be a really bad one. The thunder was so loud, and the lightening was so bright that I couldn't fall back asleep. There was hail hitting my windows so hard that I was sure they were going to break. It was insane. I just sat there watching the ridiculous amount of rain. I have never seen so much rain in my life.

6am - Happy Ignorance of the Day Ahead

It was still raining so hard. I turned on the TV to check out the morning news. OMG. There was flooding EVERYWHERE. And, of course, my side of town was hit really badly. Kaeli's school was delayed 2 hours, the park and ride wasn't running routes, the power went out briefly, and the weatherman was very adamant that if you didn't absolutely have to be anywhere then stay home. I watched the pandemonium for a while, then emailed my boss to let him know that I was going to wait out the storm, and I would be into work after I dropped Kaeli off at school. Then I smiled because I was going to get to sleep in on a weekday. I blissfully climbed back into bed.

8am - The Shit Storm Begins

I get a text from my friend saying that the powers that be decided to cancel school all together. I realize that I'm going to have to call work and tell them I'm not coming in, but I quickly find out that staying home with Kaeli is the least of my worries. My alarm goes off, my phone rings, and someone is knocking on my door all at the same time. I rise from my slumber to my friend calling and my neighbor knocking to tell me the same news.

My car is full of water.

As it turns out, pretty much every car on my street is full of water. Neighbors are informing other neighbors, and in a matter of minutes the parking lot is full of people trying desperately to dry out their cars. The water has receded, so the street isn't flooded anymore, but the damage has been done.

My friends and I spent about two hours trying to soak up as much water as possible, but it really didn't help. I gave up, dirty and exhausted.

Since Rob is truly the best boyfriend on the planet, he left work and drove all the way down here to help me. He spent hours shop-vacing (is that even a word) my car. It didn't really do a lot of good though. There is SO MUCH water. I know he knew that his efforts were futile. He just did it to make me feel better, and try to help me out.

My car still runs. I'm not sure it's such a great thing to be driving it around, but at this point I just don't care. It was still wet this morning. Don't even get me started on the smell. So seriously disgusting.

I called my insurance to make a claim yesterday, but so did everyone in Houston. I have an appointment on Friday with the insurance adjuster. I've never done anything like this before. The only accident I've ever been in was a fender bender when I was 16, and my mom handled everything. In all honesty, I have no clue what the heck is going on.

At first, I just figured they would take a look at it, and decide to take out the carpets and re-upholster everything. Then, I got to work. According to my coworkers, water is a car's kryptonite. They are all telling me to hope it gets totalled because there is no coming back from that kind of water damage. I'm still making payments on my poor little car. I only have about a year left. It scares the crap out of me that it will get totalled, but the insurance company won't value it for enough to pay off the car and have a little left over for a down payment on another one. I'm also scared that the car won't get totalled, but it will never be worth anything ever again because of all the water damage. Apparently, no one wants a car that has ever been in a flood.

I've realized that I do not handle stress well. I have this tendency to just shut down and avoid everything at all costs when things get to be too much.

I'm also annoyed with myself because I've always thought of myself as an independent chick, but the first thing I did was call my boyfriend and freak out!

I know it could be so much worse (one story in the news is particularly awful), but right now, it feels like a lot. I just hope and pray that this all goes smoothly and quickly.

And now for your viewing pleasure, a few hastily taken pictures:

This picture doesn't really show anything. I just think my poor car looks sad and pathetic.

This is inside the trunk. We pulled up all of the mats, and this is my spare tire. Please notice the POOL of dirty brown water surrounding the tire. The tire was submerged in gross rain water and floating trunk trash.

Also notice the dirty water line. It might be tough to see, but, apparently, this is how high the water came up to my car.

I can say, with a large amount of confidence, that I will never be able to enjoy a thunderstorm ever again. No longer will I find snuggling under the blankets while sleeping or reading comforting and cozy.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Because My Google Reader Can Never Be Too Full

New Fun Blog Alert!

New Fun Blog Alert!

I just finished reading through Love Story, and it is such a cute idea for a blog.

I'm a sucker for other people's tales of romance!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Now I Know What Barbara Walters and Perez Hilton are Doing at Every Moment

I did it.

I jumped on the Twitter bandwagon.

So, what do I do now?

I haven't actually left a Tweet, yet, because my first time should be something awesome, right? I mean "I'm secretly blogging at work" isn't really a Twitter worthy event. Instead, I'm checking the Twitterific app on my phone every 20 minutes to find out what else Perez Hilton has to say about Miss California.

Anyone else out there on Twitter? I can't possibly follow only celebrities. That makes me seem lame awesome.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Check baby check baby 123

Email blogger from my phone too? Could this day get anymore exciting?!
Technology rocks.


Sent from my iPhone

OMG. Look what I learned how 2 do 2day. Txt 2 blogger. Best day EVER.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Everbody Was Kung Fu Fighting

I totally don't know why that song is stuck in my head.

Kaeli brought home a VERY bad grade on her math test this week.

The thing is, she had all of the answers right. Except the last 10 which she just DIDN'T ANSWER. When I asked her why she didn't answer the questions, she says that she doesn't have enough time, but I seriously doubt that is the case. Especially since, when we go over the questions, she knows the answer immediately. It's simple subtraction, and she has managed to complete the same test format in previous weeks.

I need to contact the teacher and find out if Kaeli is just getting distracted or playing around when she should be taking the test, but that is a different post for a different day.

Anyway, I know she is only in the first grade, but poor performance on tests (when I know she understands the material) is just unacceptable to me.

Her punishment was no TV and an early bedtime until she brought home a better grade. Presumably on next week's math test.

She did not take this well one bit. It's actually the first time she has ever seriously complained about being punished. In the past, she has just taken whatever sentence I have handed down and accepted it with no comments.

In all honesty, her punishment is super lenient. I told her that it wouldn't count over the weekend (because of the holiday and all), and it is okay if, after she does her homework, she watches TV at her grandmother's house. This is a strictly in our house punishment. When we get home she has to study her math and be in bed at 7:30 (normally it's 8). This all started Wednesday night, she's out of school Friday and Monday, plus the weekend, so, essentially, there are only 4 nights where the punishment will be enforced. I don't really care about the actual punishment as much as I care that she realizes that she is being punished for her grade. Does that make sense?

Back to my point, she is not taking this well AT ALL. She burst into tears while we were talking about it. She cried out "This punishment is HORRIBLE." She kept saying that she is a good kid, and it feels like I don't appreciate her. I had to stifle my laughter as I explained that I do love her and appreciate her. Why did I almost burst into hysterical laughter, you ask?

Because I used to say the exact same shit to my parents! Whenever I would get in trouble for breaking curfew or talking back, I would tell them that they don't realize how good they have it. I could be out doing drugs and drinking, but I'm not. They are so lucky, and they don't even APPRECIATE it. Of course, I was a teenager before I brought out this logic on my parents, but Kaeli is pulling out the big guns at 6!!! I think I have created a monster.

I know I should call my parents and inform them of this new development, but I don't think I can handle the pure glee that I would hear in their voices.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Health Conscious Much?

Look what I found at the grocery store this weekend.

I know that I unsuccessfully try watch what I eat, but I've never thought that I should be counting calories for my dog too.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

American Girl

I've been meaning to post some pictures of Kaeli's trip to American Girl for, like, a week. For those of y'all with sons, or girls not into dolls, American Girl is a BIG DEAL. I know y'all have been waiting on pins and needles to see all the crazy things that go on behind those big huge doors.

Tess* came into our lives last summer, when Kaeli's great aunt presented Kaeli with her very first American Girl. She's been a pretty important fixture since then.

When Kaeli was on Spring Break, I wanted to do something fun and special so I decided that her first trip to AG was in order.

I wasn't quite sure Rob could handle that much girl-ness, but he was a total trooper.

The one thing I took away from the AG visit is that little girls are freaking crazy when it comes to dolls.

Kaeli giving Tess some love.

Tess at the DOLL HAIR SALON. I still shake my head when I think about the fact that I paid $20 to get a DOLL'S hair done.

Kaeli posing with the finished 'do

The amount of stuff in this bag is unreal. Earrings for the doll. (I convinced Kaeli that stick on earrings were better than regular earrings because we shouldn't poke holes in Tess. That's right folks, you can choose to have your AG Doll's ears pierced!) A new pet cat, Ginger. A new sporty skateboarding outfit for Tess (I think Rob influenced that one A LOT). A sleeping bag for Tess. And her favorite score of the day, matching pajamas for Kaeli and Tess. She's been begging for matching outfits since the moment she got the doll, but I'm not ready to make that leap into crazy just yet. Maybe next time. I had to literally hide the pajamas one night so that I could finally wash them!

Tess after a wardrobe change.

Next was lunch with Tess. There is a whole lotta pink in that bistro! It was a little overpriced (Duh), but the food was good and Kaeli really enjoyed herself.

And last but not least, a picture with all of the Dolls of the Year. Each one of these dolls is only available for one year. I'm considering getting her this year's doll.

All in all it was a lot of fun. I can order the stuff online, but actually going to one of the few stores was really exciting for Kaeli. She already has her next trip planned. In her mind, that trip includes another doll (because Tess needs a sister) and bunk beds for the dolls to sleep on. And more matching outfits, of course. Oy with the poodles already. (If you know the show that line is from then you get to be my new best friend!)

* Kaeli named her doll Tess after one of the characters in Camp Rock. Tess happens to be the blonde bratty mean one. Then, I realized that Kaeli also prefers Sharpay, the blonde bratty mean one in High School Musical. Then, I started wondering if that meant that Kaeli aspires to be a blonde bratty mean girl. But then I realized that I spent alot of a few months ago my late teens and early 20s being a blonde bratty mean girl. I'm definitely seeing a little bit of a blonde bratty mean girl in my future. Fortunately, she's the sweetest funniest little girl, but I'm not sure that I can avoid it. My mother always told me that you reap what you sow. Damn. I really really hate it when the things she said when I was younger turn out to be right.

Some People Should Not Be Parents

This might seriously be the most disgusting thing I have ever read. What kind of mother does something like this?

Police: Mom drugged daughter so she'd get pregnant
PITTSBURGH (AP) — A mother in Pennsylvania has been charged with giving her 13-year-old daughter drugs and alcohol so the woman's boyfriend could get the girl pregnant, police said Thursday.

Shana Brown, 32, is no longer able to have children but wanted to have a baby with her current boyfriend, Duane Calloway, said Uniontown Police Det. Donald Gmitter. The pair decided to drug the girl so Calloway, 40, could have sex with her without her knowledge, he added.

"There's some sick people on this case," Gmitter said.

Brown has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and was to turn herself into police later Thursday, Gmitter said. Brown's attorney did not immediately return a call for comment.

Calloway faces several counts of attempted rape. He was arrested Wednesday and remains in Fayette County Jail.

The three incidents occurred in Brown's home in Uniontown in western Pennsylvania, according to the criminal complaint.

The girl told police the plot was apparently hatched sometime in December after she rejected her mother's proposal that she allow Calloway to impregnate her and then marry him.

In the following months, Calloway attempted to rape the girl three times, Gmitter said.

The first time, in February, the girl was alone with Calloway while her mother went out to buy pizza, according to the criminal complaint. Calloway began groping her and she kicked him away, the documents stated.

A few weeks later, the girl believes her mother spiked her Pepsi with rum, according to police. The girl told them she felt ill after drinking the Pepsi, passed out and later threw up. She was also partially naked when she woke up and Calloway was in the room, according to the criminal complaint.

The third incident occurred in mid-March, when the girl told police she came home early from school because she was not feeling well. She said her mother forced her to drink tea, and then she immediately fell asleep.

The girl said she pretended she was asleep until Calloway made a move, at which point she bolted upright and he left the room.

In a search of the Brown residence, police said they found an empty rum bottle, Tylenol PM and a pill crusher.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Toothless Wonder

Kaeli lost her very first tooth Monday night!

(I feel kind of guilty because I missed the actual falling out of the tooth because I was at the Britney Spears concert. Pictures to come!)

This tooth has been loose for WEEKS. I seriously didn't know a loose tooth could last that long. It gave me way too much time to stress over the going rate for the Tooth Fairy. In the end, I decided that $5 was perfect for a first tooth. She told me she's going to save it for her next American Girl trip. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she's going to have to lose a lot more teeth to buy anything at AG!

It's so weird looking at her now. She suddenly looks so much older to me!

Now, I have a pressing question. What the hell do I do with her tooth? I know my mom kept mine and my sister's baby teeth, but I get this serious feeling of ICK when I think of keeping random teeth tucked away in my jewelry box. At the same time, I can't just throw it away. It's the 2nd tooth that was ever in her little baby mouth. It's like sentimental and stuff. So, Internets, what should I do with it. What did y'all do, or plan to do, with your babies loose teeth? Inquiring minds need to know!

Monday, March 23, 2009

A Not Awesome Discovery

There is a serious issue that I forgot to add to the very exciting bullet post about my weekend. It's probably better this way because the shock of what happened to me deserves it's own post.

Ok. Here it goes. Deep breath.

While flat ironing my hair on Friday, I found 3 hairs that were not the same color as the rest of my hair.

They were grey.

I immediately ripped those suckers out. If it really is true that 2 more will grow in each not brunette hair's place, then I guess I'll be pulling 6 out next week.

When Rob got home from work, I told him about my horrible discovery. His response, you ask?
"I noticed them last week, but I didn't want to tell you about it."

Not cool.

I had to insert a new relationship rule. If he notices anything that in any way shape or form could be considered as me looking like I am aging, he must immediately tell me so I can correct the situation.

Now every time I'm near a mirror I can't help but glance at my roots and inspect my hair for more not brunette strands.

I am so not ready for this stage of life.

Monday Morning Bullets

  • I'm having a difficult time concentrating today.
  • I hit the snooze for at least 45 minutes this morning, and am having an incredibly uncooperative hair day.
  • I seriously need another day to recover from the exhausting weekend.
  • I went to Rob's house for the weekend and realized this morning that I left my cute black boots.
  • This means that I am forced into seriously uncomfortable heels as my black shoe wardrobe for the week. It doesn't matter how many pairs of black heels I own, none of them are as comfortable as my boots. I seriously need to buy more flats, but when you're 5'1" you need all the help you can get.
  • Rob and I took Kaeli to the American Girl store this weekend. It was her first trip there, and she's already planning her next. SO. MANY. GIRLS. SO. MANY. DOLLS. Don't think y'all are getting by without a full report on the trip. Start preparing yourself for the amount of pictures Kaeli wanted me to take of her and her doll.
  • A couple of my favorite friends came to Rob's place this weekend too.
  • One of them just broke up with her boyfriend, and serious girl support was needed.
  • Rob deserves a medal for all the girl talk he sat through this weekend. He even participated. Don't tell him I told you that. Also, watching him be super supportive of my friends made me heart him more even more.
  • I am officially too old to handle drinking an entire bottle of Firefly Vodka with my friends. Apparently, hangover recovery time increases with age.
  • I watched so much college basketball this weekend. March Madness Bracket Pools are one of my favorite things about working in an office. I currently have 36 correct picks. I have Louisville over Pittsburgh in the championship, so keep your fingers crossed, my friends.
  • I bought Twilight at approximately 12:24am Friday night/Saturday morning. Then, I went straight home and watched it. I'm pretty sure y'all expected no less from me.
  • Rob and I also saw I Love You, Man with Paul Rudd (I love him. Remember Clueless?) this weekend. All of you must drop whatever you are doing at this moment and go and see that movie. So insanely funny. And Netflix Role Models! Paul Rudd is on a hilarious movie streak!

I hope everyone else had a fantastic weekend!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

More Earring Fun

Who knew I could stretch my earring conversations with Kaeli into 2 different posts?

So, we've established that Kaeli has a new found interest in her earrings. Yesterday morning, she had me put in a pair for her.

She was getting into the shower last night, and realized they were still in her ears. Kaeli called for me to come and help her take them out.


Earring Support? What?

I laughed so hard I could barely get the earrings out for her. I'm probably biased, but I have a seriously funny kid.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

As Seen on TV

Kaeli has suddenly become addicted to Jon & Kate Plus 8. I had it on over the weekend, and, now, she's constantly asking to change the channel to TLC.

On Sunday, they had a Jon & Kate marathon in which each kid got a "Special Day". The kid got to choose something to do alone with their parents. It was actually kind of nice to see how the kids act by themselves. They all seemed to really enjoy the activities and extra attention.

Kaeli was watching it again last night, and she started talking about Cara and Mady. I think they're her favorites because they are close to her age.

Kaeli: Mommy, can I have a Special Day and go get my ears pierced like Mady?
Me: Um. You already have your ears pierced. (yes, i'm one of those parents that pierced my daughter's ears when she was a baby. Judge all you want. It looked so cute, and I was really sick of people asking if she was a boy or girl. Even with her dressed in all pink people would ask, so I don't know why i thought earrings would help. )
Kaeli: No I don't.
Me: Yes you do. I was there.
Kaeli: No, I really don't have my ears pierced.
Me: You wear earrings! How do you think the holes got there?
Kaeli: Oh.

I can't make up conversations this good if I tried. It cracks me up that she was so insistent that I was wrong!

On the plus side, she now has a renewed interest in the jewelry box full of earring sitting on her dresser.

And I will leave y'all with a picture taken over the weekend that showcases her ability to accessorize.

She was just playing in her room like this. Sunglasses and all (they have glittery peace signs on the sides. So Cute! I heart Justice/Limited Too/Whatever it's called.) Oh, and the shoes on the bed drive me crazy, but they were brand new and I couldn't resist the picture!

I prefer Spring Shopping so much more than Spring Cleaning!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St Patrick's Day

I hope everyone is wearing their green today!

It's only 8:30am, but I'm already thinking of the beer I'll be celebrating with tonight. I love drinking holidays!

Monday, March 16, 2009

All Tied Up

Happy Monday, everyone! I feel like I've been such a sporadic blogger lately. I have a bunch of fun stories in my head, but keep procrastinating on getting them written down.


Kaeli officially started Spring Break, and, since I of course work all week, I want to take even more advantage of the weekends. She works really hard for a 1st grader, and I want her to have a nice time off. The weather was gross, so we went to see Race to Witch Mountain. It was so cute. I really loved it. It might be because of my little crush on Dwayne Johnson, though. Does anyone else have trouble NOT referring to him as The Rock? I know he's gone all actor on us, but I can't help hear the words "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking" every time I see him. I'm always anticipating him finishing off the other actors with a People's Elbow!

After the movie it was shopping time!

I'm beginning to think I might have a serious shopping problem. I really like to buy things. Like REALLY like to buy things. By "things" I generally mean clothes for Kaeli. I literally ran out of hangers for all of her clothes again after this weekend's adventures. I just can't pass up a good sale! The problem is that she has way too many clothes, and I have none. I swear I'm wearing the same things over and over, but she can go weeks without repeating an outfit. Clothes just look so much cuter on a 6 year old. I promised myself that I'm done buying her clothes for a while. It's my turn gosh darn it!!

This finally brings me to the actual reason I wanted to post today. I have a confession. Kaeli is 6 1/2 years old, and I've never taught her to tie her shoes. I know! I suck! What kind of parent am I? In the grand tradition of lazy parenting, all of Kaeli's shoes are some type of cute slip on. Her tennis shoes are all sparkly Sketchers with the fancy no-tie elastic laces. She can tie her robe and stuff, but we've just never gotten around to the shoe tying thing. Rob found this to be completely unacceptable and decided that he had to buy Kaeli a pair of shoes with actual laces.

She picked out the cutest pair of hi-top sneakers, which makes me laugh because the 80s are definitely back in full force if my 6 year old wants hi-tops. All she needs now is a pair of LA Gear with the double laces (I had pink and white laces) (do any of you other 80s kids remember what I'm talking about) (they were so cool) to be my childhood self reincarnate.

Get to the point, Kristi.


So we get home with these brand new lace up shoes. Rob and I get them all laced up and call Kaeli over for the shoe tying lesson. Her response, you ask?

"I already know how to tie my shoes. My friend at school showed me."

Then she proceeded to correctly tie her shoes, and left me sitting in the living room with my mouth hanging open.

So...Um...Yeah...Total FAIL in the parenting department!

At least she's not picking up sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll in the 1st grade hallway. Not that I know of anyway!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Robert Pattinson's GQ cover.

Dear GAWD!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Like I Need Another Outlet for Wasting Time

I finally got tired of being the only person on the planet without a Wii, and, this weekend, I went out and got my very own.

Actually, Rob and I got a Wii. We bought a Wii. Ha ha. I crack myself up.

We've been talking about it for a while, and, finally, got off our butts and got one. It's our very first JOINT purchase. As in, I paid for half, and he paid for the other half. If our relationship takes a tragic turn (which I highly doubt), there is now a piece of property that must be discussed and divided. By golly, I think I'm in a serious grown up relationship. The Wii gets to reside at my place, though. Yay me!

We also got the Wii Fit. I was concerned that it would be hard to find, but, fortunately, there were a lot at the nearest Best Buy. I swear, once we got everything set up, Rob, Kaeli, and I played that thing for 4 hours.

I'm not sure how many of y'all have a Wii Fit, but the game does this whole body test thing. It gives you a Wii Fit age. My jaw dropped, and a high pitched scream of shock came from my body when it told me that my Wii Fit age is 40!!!!! 40! I'm only 27! That's just embarrassing. Now, I'm on a mission to play a little everyday and get that age to an appropriate number!

I have learned that I absolutely suck at all the Balancing games, but totally kick serious ass at the Hula Hoop game. Go me. This thing is genius. I was on last night for 45 minutes, and didn't even realize how much time had passed. I even broke a sweat during the aerobics games.

I'm totally pleased with my our purchase. I can't wait to go home and play with it some more. I have a feeling all of my spare time and money will be going towards the Wii for a while!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Why Do I Watch This Crap?

Did anyone else waste their time watching The Bachelor this season?

I've neglected to mention my addiction because I'm totally embarrassed that I watch such mindnumbingly awful crap I really doubt anyone cares about my opinion on this show, but after last night I can't be silenced!

Generally, I am not a devout Bachelor fan. I've seen a few seasons, but no where near all of them. The only reason I watched this season is because I picked up in the middle of The Bachelorette last season, and I really liked Jason Mesnick.

Boy, did he have me fooled. Now, I plan to hate him for all eternity.

I can handle the fact that he proposed to Melissa (my fave since the very first episode), and after some time realized that they weren't right for each other (even though I think 6 weeks isn't giving the relationship a fair shot). No one really expects these Bachelor relationships to last anyway. After all of these seasons, Trista and Ryan are the only couple married.

What I can't handle is the way he went about the situation. He brought her on TV and broke off their engagement without her ever knowing that something was wrong. Asshat!

Then, he immediately turns around and tells Molly that he is still in love with her and wants another shot!! Double Asshat!!!

He could have discretely broken up with Melissa after a couple of months, and then picked things up with Molly. It would have been way less scandalous after all of the excitement over the show wears off. I'm starting to think he likes the drama and feeling of being wanted by so many women more than he lets on.

And what the hell is Molly thinking? She thinks it's acceptable for Jason to break up with Melissa ON TV after only 6 weeks, and then ask her out not 20 minutes later? And she accepted! And then they spent the rest of the show making out and cuddling!

What makes me the most mad is that Jason took the warm, fuzzy, and hopeful feeling of the proposal away from me. Now I'm just left being cynical and realizing that even someone who seems like the nicest guy ever is actually just a dick.

In my rage over his douchey behaviour, I even joined the Facebook group Jason Mesnick is a Jerk.

Yep. I am not overly emotionally involved in this at all.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Scenes from a Cubicle

Another post? Wow. Aren't y'all lucky!?

Are y'all ready for a little tour into Corporate America? It's exciting stuff. Really.

This is my cube. Inviting, isn't it?

This is my pen/pencil jar that I inherited from the person who occupied my cube before me.

This is a crazy office supply contraption thingy that has been in my inherited pen jar for the 1 1/2 years that I have resided in this cubicle.

For 1 1/2 years I have had no freaking clue what this thing is, but I couldn't ask anyone what it is because then people would think I was stupid and not take me seriously.

But then they all found out about my Perez Hilton addiction and Twilight obsession, so being taken seriously wasn't really a concern anymore.

So, I finally asked.

It's a STAPLE REMOVER! I've only ever seen the fun claw like staple removers. Not this flat strange thing. They don't teach this stuff in college, y'all.

I've been randomly stapling things to test it out. Being an accountant is full of fun times.

Tell the truth. Did any of you know it was a staple remover on first sight? I can't be the only person that has never seen one of these doodads before.

A Product of the Hannah Montana Generation

Kaeli and I were at the grocery store the other day. To reward her patience and lack of whining as I bought every single thing in the store, I gave her $0.50 to get something out of those little machines by the door.

I figured she would go for the bright stickers, maybe the fun friendship bracelet, the damn bouncy balls that I find all over my house, or a nice round gumball.

I was wrong on all counts. She headed straight for the FAKE MUSTACHES.


Obviously, I had to get a picture of my 6 year old very girly girl in a fake mustache.

I believe it is a photo that must be shared with the world.

notice my new PLUM colored sunglasses that she grabbed before I could snap a picture!!

This is now the pose she strikes every time I ask to take a picture.

I have a very odd child.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

More Ways in Which I Waste Time During Work

I can't remember where I first found out about this site. I'm pretty sure it was on someone else's blog, but I can't remember who. If it was you, then I would like to send a big thank you for decreasing the boredom on a lazy afternoon!

Reasons Why I Dumped You.

Immediately follow the link.

Trust me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

You Say That Now, Young Child

Kaeli loves to read, and, in my very unbiased mother's opinion, she has gotten really good at it.

Her new favorite reading material is my cell phone. She likes to pass the time by scrolling through my text messages or looking over my shoulder as I text. The kid has even decoded some of the text message shorthand.

I finally had to have a talk with her about NOT reading my text messages.

Me: Kaeli, it is not polite to read through other people's messages without asking.
Kaeli: But texts are so fun.
Me: Yes, but how would you like it if I went into your room and read through your journal.
Kaeli: Go ahead. I don't care if you read that. Nothing in there is a secret.

I wonder if she'll still feel this way when she is 12?

While we're on the subject of Kaeli, some of you may remember Kaeli asking for an iPod right after she turned 6. I vetoed it because I thought she was a little too young for one, but she really has grown a lot in the last year. She's been doing a really good job taking care of her stuff, so I was considering the purchase when she turns 7 (which isn't until July anyway).

That is until last week. We were talking about a friend of her's having a birthday, and I mentioned that at 7 she might be old enough for her own iPod. My intention was to get her a little excited about it, but instead she said "I don't really need an iPod for my birthday. What I want is my own laptop."

I'm pretty sure y'all can figure out my answer to that request

Helping Me Stick to My Diet One Post at a Time

In my search to know everything on the Internet, I found a fascinating site.

Fascinating in that it simultaneously intrigues and disgusts me.

Perusing these pictures is like watching a train wreck. I want to turn away, but I just cant. It's power is just too strong.

Big Mac-Chicken With Cheese

A McDonald’s Big Mac with cheese, but with fried McChicken patties instead of buns.

I suddenly feel less guilty about polishing off that box of Girl Scout cookies last night.

Is it possible to make a box of Caramel Delights last more than 1 day?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

More Ways In Which I Act Like a 15 Year Old Girl

Are y'all sick of hearing about my iPhone yet?


Good. I promise I'll stop after this.

Unless any more good stories happen.


With my old phone, I had a plan with unlimited mobile to mobile texting and some extra texting tacked on for those people not with my cell provider. It wasn't a big deal because I didn't text much, but that was before I found myself in a long distance relationship.

Now my texting is out of control. It's a serious sickness. One day I decided to count how many text messages Rob sent me. There were 60. In one day. And not even a whole day. Just the 8 or so hours he was at work! And it's always really un important play by play from his day. Fortunately, Rob and I have the same cell service provider so our nonstop texting fell under the unlimited part of my plan.

When I got the new phone, I figured it was time to change some stuff on my plan. I had started going slightly over my allotted text messages, and it was getting annoying.

I played around with my plan online, and called it a day.

Then I got this month's bill.

My eyes bulged out of my head when I realized I had racked up a $250 cell phone bill! I apparently did not change my messaging to the unlimited plan like I intended. Instead I only signed up for like 1500. Too bad I had over 3000 texts on my bill! (I know. I'm ridiculous. I can't help that all my friends and family live far away. And I like to chat. And stop judging me!!) It was seriously insane.

I immediately changed to the Unlimited plan I had previously intended, and silently berated myself for such a careless mistake.

But last night I decided to give AT&T a call. I talked to a very nice lady about what happened. I was my usual charming self, and she laughed at my insane amount of overage.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. She said that since I am such a good customer and since I have already switched over to the Unlimited plan so this won't happen again, she would go ahead and take ALL of my excess text messages off!! She literally took like $150 off of my bill.

I did a happy dance, and professed my undying love for her.

And since TUWABVB had a great customer service story today too, I decided that I should give a shout out to Peggy from AT&T and all the other super nice customer service employees!! Thanks for staying nice and helpful even when dealing with airheads like me!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Things I Do To Make My Father Crazy

I am horrible about calling my dad. It's not that we aren't close because we totally are. I think he's great, and I thank the stork for dropping me off at my dad's door.

I'm just really bad at calling. He is too. It's apparently genetic.

Anyway, I finally got a hold of him recently. Here is part of our very important convo.

ME: So have I told you about my new super awesome iPhone?
Dad: No, you have not.
ME: Oh, well I have an iPhone, and I love it. It can do everything. I don't know how I lived without it.
Dad:he went into a long diatribe about only needing a phone to make calls...blah blah blah....all that other stuff is crazy....blah blah blah
ME: Anyway, I think I have realized something very important about myself because of my iPod and my iPhone. In the life question of whether you're a Mac or a PC, I just might be a Mac. (I don't have a Mac, but I'm definitely considering the purchase)
Dad: Hold on. Wait a second. You voted for Obama and you're a Mac? Where did I go wrong when I was raising you?

Obviously, my dad and I are total and complete opposites a little different in our life views, but the sarcastic comment proves we have something in common!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

I Don't Think I Can Eat Anymore Chocolate

Who am I kidding? There's always room for more chocolate!

I'm a little late on the Valentine's Day thing, but Rob and I had a fun-filled weekend of V-Day celebrations.

Phase 1 was shipping Kaeli to the grandparents house for the night and having dinner at The Melting Pot on Friday. We (and by we I mean Rob) spent way too much money, but it was worth it. The Melting Pot is just so delicious. It's a testament to how old we're getting that we had an early dinner on Friday to avoid the crazy crowds Saturday. Our server told us that they had like 500 reservations for Valentine's Day. I do not miss waiting tables on V-Day. The only day it's worse to be a server is Mother's Day. Trust me. Be kind to your servers if you go out those days!!

After dinner it was on to Phase 2. Rob got me tickets to see Legally Blonde The Musical! It was so much fun. I loved every second of it. Rob hated it because he said that guys are supposed to hate musicals. Which in turn started a Valentine's bickering match because I think he was being stereotypical and macho and didn't even give it a fair chance but whatevs. I had fun, which is all that really matters!

Phase 3 happened on Saturday. I figured I had to do something to balance out the super girly night we had on Friday. I took Rob and Kaeli to Ridemakerz, and we built remote control cars. I first heard about the place when my sister went for her birthday, and I knew Rob would really enjoy it. It's basically a Build-A-Bear but with cars. Kaeli and I built a super girly pink car, and Rob picked out a black Viper. Rob took his car building very seriously, and it was a lot of fun. We had a quick dinner at Freebirds (gigantic burritos are so romantic), and went home to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.

We did so much stuff I feel like I need an extra weekend to recover.

Whether you love it or think it's a holiday created by Hallmark and chocolate companies, I hope everyone had a great weekend!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

It's Here! It's Here!

It's finally here!

What is here you ask? My new Snuggie!!!

I should preface this post by saying that I've been on a weird must order random things from the Internet kick lately. I am so NOT the type of person who should order things from the Internet. First, I have very little impulse control when it comes to shopping. Second, I compulsively check the package tracking in, like, 20 minute intervals. I know it's ridiculous, but I can't stop.

and I might have taken wwaayy too much cold medicine...i'm feeling a little loopy over here!


My Snuggie got here today! Who knew a blanket with sleeves would be so awesome? I probably shouldn't be this excited about something that is essentially a backwards robe, but, whatevs. I love it.

Now I can read a book without the horrible annoyance of getting my hands and arms cold when I turn a page. That is just pure genius.

I got 2 because you can't chillax in Snuggie comfort alone. It's just mean. Plus, the website does this whole trickery thing, and after you place your order, they ask if you want to pay an extra $10 for the Deluxe Snuggie. It's thicker and has POCKETS! I can't resist an upgrade so Deluxe Snuggies it is. Rob's reaction to the pockets was not as excited as mine. His exact words were "Great, another place for you to lose your phone." How Rude!

Tonight, I relaxed on the couch with Kaeli. We were both wrapped in our Snuggies while watching American Idol. You can't ask for a better night than that!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Grammy Roundup

I'm a sucker for award shows, so, of course, I was glued to the television for last nights Grammys. Here are a few of my very important thoughts on the evening.

I'm glad Adele won for Best New Artist. I think she's fabulous, and Chasing Pavements is such a great song. BUT - Why oh why was she chewing gum ON STAGE. If your name is called you immediately swallow it!!

I've been in love with Justin Timberlake since like 1998. He's occupied my heart for the last 11 years. He was so great in both of his performances last night. I love that he collaborates with pretty much everyone in the entire music industry, but I am so ready for another Justin album. A tour would be nice too.

I have yet to hear a Taylor Swift song that I don't love. The song she and Miley Cyrus performed, Fifteen, was so fantastic. I was pleasantly surprised by how well their duet went.

Jennifer Hudson can freaking sing. She was amazing. Now she has a Grammy and an Oscar, so getting voted off of American Idol worked out very well for her!

M.I.A, I applaud you for performing ON your due date. That is ballsy.

Blink 182 presented together. Yay! Then today announced that they are officially back together. Double Yay!

Is anyone else so incredibly jealous of Carrie Underwood's legs? I've looked for a picture, but couldn't find one. They're freaking amazing. I'm almost inspired to hit the gym.

Why was Kanye West rocking a mullet? I know the 80s are back, but they are so not that back.

There were a million more great things, but these ones stuck out enough for me to text about them with one of my Grammy-loving friends.
Did y'all watch? What did you think? Any moments stick out to y'all?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Google Search Mania

I've seen other people write posts about the weird google searches that lead people to their blogs. I thought it would be fun to do my own list. Apparently, there are some very interesting people out there googling very interesting things. I've decided to put them into two groups; Sad and Awesome. Plus, y'all get my thoughts on the searches. Don't y'all feel lucky!?

First for the Sad
"frenemy friends you on Facebook,what do you do" - It's sad that this is such a common problem on Facebook that someone felt the need to google an answer. It's even sadder that google directed them to me. Someone should write a book on this subject. Millions of dollars will be made off of a Facebook Etiquette Manual!

"girl who has no friends" - BURN! I'm awesome. I have friends. Google sucks.

"get over it Kristi girl" - That could probably be an alternate title for this here blog!

"has anybody seen my self esteem" - Well, ok then. I get the point, Google.

And the Awesome
"how do I get my boyfriend to be like Edward Cullen" - It's a question all of us *Fanpires* are asking ourselves.

"my boyfriend is like Edward Cullen" - Lucky girl. Stop rubbing it in.

"would you really want a boyfriend like Edward Cullen" - Yes.

Three separate Google Searches relating to Edward Cullen? Maybe I should stop mentioning Edward Cullen so much?

And now for the most Awesome
"big happy hair" - I am in total shock about how many people have googled Bump Its! I seriously lost count at 15 in a week. Every day there are more and more people jumping on the big happy hair bandwagon. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only freak mesmerized by the big happy hair promise. I should contact the Bump It people, and see if I can be a spokesperson or something. They could like sponsor my blog. My hair would always be sassy and flirty. I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship, Bump its!!!

Blog Love

That Girl was awesome enough to give me a Lemonade Award. Fun!!

Here are the rules:
1. You must link back to the person you received the award from. That Girl is pretty freaking fabulous. Don't click on the link unless you're prepared for lots of awesome Sex and the City references, total honesty, and lots of crazy boy drama.

2. You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!
Here are a few of my everyday must reads.
Cherish at A Girl and Her Blog. Cherish was one of my very first blog friends!

Melissa at Complimentary Chocolate She's Cherish's sister in law, which makes me jealous because I want a cool sister in law to hang out with!!

Astarte at The Muddled Sage and Literally Booked. She gets two hits because she's that awesome. Plus, I want all of you to run over to Literally Booked and start participating in our book club. It's super fun!

Sara at Blogging in Bed. She's fun and insightful. Plus the pictures of the meals she cooks always make me drool!

TUWABVB at Tied Up With a Black Velvet Band. She's cool. Even if she didn't love Aretha Franklin's Inauguration hat!!!

April at how do i stop this crazy train. This is the first blog I ever read. April is a real life friend. She fabulous and totally hilarious, but she doesn't update near enough. Hopefully my whining will sink in soon.

Tabatha at that nurse is being such a... Another real life friend who is super funny.

Chantal at Two Hands Full. She's also part of Literally Booked. Chantal inspires me to de-clutter my home!!

Last, Reasons Why I Dumped You. This site is great for a laugh. If you haven't checked it out I suggest you do so right now.