Thursday, July 9, 2009

The powers that be blocked blogger at work!! Do they really think they can stop me?I will not be silenced!!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I think a discussion over proper use of a toilet seat is in my future

Remember how I casually mentioned that there was a reason I haven't been blogging much?

Well, I am ready to share it with the blogosphere.

Y'all are waiting with bated breath, aren't you?

Okay. Here it goes.

I'M MOVING!

Wow. How is that for anticlimactic?

Rob and I have reached the threshold on the length of a long distance relationship , and we decided it was time that Kaeli and I moved to his city. I pretend like we spent so much time debating who's city we would move too, but really there was never that much doubt. I like Houston, but I don't LOVE Houston so it won't be too hard to say goodbye. (Peace out, hurricane season. I am so not scared of you anymore.) Plus, quite frankly, his job is just better than mine. We found a house (to rent, of course...i am so not ready for the responsibility of my own home), and I am officially moving in 2 1/2 weeks. We've talked about it for a while, and it feels so weird that the time is already here.

I didn't want to put it down on the blog until things were final, and all important people had been notified. (i.e. - My boss because even though no one at work really knows about my blog, it would be just my luck that someone would stumble upon it before I had the chance to say anything. Not that anyone I work with really even knows what a blog is.)

I found it impossible to pull together a coherent post when all I really wanted to do was announce the move. I tried a bunch of times, but always left the post unfinished. I guess now y'all get to be inundated with all of the mundane stuff that happened in the last month. Lucky!!

Well, I am so glad that is out of the bag.

In a couple of weeks, I will be living with a boy. So weird.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Emotional Minefield that is Raising an (Almost) 7 Year Old

OMG, y'all.

This whole raising a girl thing is IN-Freaking-SANE.

Kaeli has always been on the creative side. She's crafty and artsy. She talks about becoming a fashion designer when she grows up because she (and I quote) "just loves clothes so much and it is so fun to make styles." Since the day she could hold a crayon, she has been obsessed with notebooks and journals. She has them all over her room with drawings and short written passages.

Her creative flair has always been one of my favorite things about her. Kaeli and I are A LOT alike, but this is a quality she most definitely did not inherit from me. I love seeing all the ways she is growing into her own little person.

She also tends to be sensitive and dramatic (ok so the dramatic thing might be straight from my genes to hers but whatever).

Now on to my point. Kaeli has always shared her creative genius with me. She's always brought the journals and drawings to me so that we can look through them together. She never seemed to think of them as private or anything.

Until last weekend.

My friend gave Kaeli a little Hannah Montana notebook with cool colored pens. When Kaeli was in the other room playing with my friend's son, I, absentmindedly, picked up the notebook and started flipping through it.

Kaeli walked into the room to find me looking through the book, and had a complete and utter MELTDOWN. OMG. The crying. And the yelling about privacy and secret journals. And the crying. And she was so embarrassed. (In case you're curious, all she had written down was that she was in love with my friend's son, M. I think she caught me chuckling about it.) I sat there in shock because I have never seen her react this way before.

I apparently committed the absolute worse offense ever in her young life (Good thing she doesn't remember the baby years. She would be so mad if she knew all the first time mom dumb things that happened.) I have truly never seen her so angry and upset with me. I felt awful. I even bribed her with $2 and a pinky swear that I will never go through her journals again.

It amazes me that we can go from sharing everything, and, out of nowhere, she needs space and privacy. Her 7th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and she always gets a little "feisty" right before she turns a year older. I'm wondering if it's just a short term thing because she realizes she is almost 7 (and therefore totally grown up in her own eyes), or if we really are heading into a new stage of the growing up process. I mean, dudes, she's not even 7 yet. Isn't this all supposed to happen when she is older? I remember getting mad at my mom and sister when they would go through my journals. Their constant perusal of my inner thoughts is the reason I stopped writing them down. But, y'all, I was 11 when all of this crap started becoming important to me!


I guess it's time to brush up on my spy skills because I'm going to have to get a hell of a lot sneakier if we are to survive this phase!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Hope You Have Some Time and a Full Beverage because It's a Long One

I feel like I have been seriously neglecting my poor little blog. It feels like I have so much to write about, but then I sit down to do it and nothing comes to mind! There kind of is a reason, but that's a different post for a different day.

(I'm so mysterious and intriguing, aren't I?)

So I guess y'all get a rambling, no clear point to it, catch up post.

Rambling #1
A couple weeks ago, Rob and I took Kaeli to Sea World for a little End of 1st Grade and Congrats on Being a Totally Awesome Kid Celebration. I hadn't actually been before, so I might have been just as excited as Kaeli. I planned on having 87 million pictures to show everyone, but I'm a genius and forgot to charge my camera. We ended up buying Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras at the gift shop. (Which I had totally forgotten how to use. Winding up and holding the flash and not being able to tell if I have a weird look on my face after taking a picture is so 1998!) The problem with Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras is that you have to actually take them somewhere and get them developed. Which means that the Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras will probably sit on my counter until the end of summer.

The problem with Sea World is that now I sit in my cubicle thinking that I missed my calling in life. I SO should have become a dolphin trainer. There was this dolphin feeding area where we bought trays of fish and got to STAND RIGHT NEXT TO DOLPHINS AND FEED THEM. It was my favorite part of the day. They're so friendly and cute. I felt like an excited little kid. I forgot how much I loved dolphins when I was younger until I was literally inches from one. I might have gone through 6 trays of fish and had to be reminded (more than once) to share by my 6 year old daughter.

The Sea World trip wasn't all sunshine and happy dolphins. I also realized, more than ever, that guys are seriously ridiculous. No really. They can't help it. And by guys I mean Rob and the Minivan Driver at the Sea World Entrance. Stay with me here because it's going to get super run-on sentence like. The park opened at 10am, so you can imagine that at 10:22am the entrance was beyond crowded. First, there was an area to pay for parking, and then the 3 lanes merged to 2 lanes. Rob and I were in the far lane and needed to merge. Everyone was following proper crowded park merging etiquette. You know, the whole each car lets one car in thing. It was our turn to merge. Rob was driving, and I notice that the Minivan driver was not going to let us in, and it would be better to wait for the next car. I tell this to Rob, but Macho Man Syndrome sets in and he becomes DETERMINED to merge at this EXACT moment. Rob and Minivan Driver do the whole keep scooting up until someone gives in thing, and my voice is increasing in volume because we're in my new car and seriously what is the point of acting like an idiot. Then, the Minivan driver starts honking and calling Rob a motherf*cker, which I thought was really classy seeing as how all of us have kids in the car and his minivan had a Christian Fish Symbol on it. Finally, Rob backs down and lets the Minivan driver win, but I was totally pissed. It was completely ridiculous behaviour, right? Does it really matter if we are behind or in front of the minivan. There are HUNDREDS of cars in line. We are all going to the same place. It's going to take some time and patience!!! Plus was the little display of macho-ness really worth pissing me off and ruining what was a very nice and peaceful morning? Guys + Cars + Long Lines = Unbelievably Childish Behaviour.

Ok. Rant over. Thanks to those of y'all who made it through that story!

Rambling #2
One of my very favorite people in the whole wide world is moving very far away, and I'm super sad about it. My BFF's (I call her P-squared) hubby is in the Air Force and got orders to go to Germany for the next 4 years. I'm super excited for her because traveling Europe = Awesome, but I am so bummed that I won't be able to see her whenever I want. We've lived with in weekend visiting distance forever. Of course there will be visiting, but how realistic is it to think that we will see each other even once a year? And how the hell does international text messaging work? Is there even a plan for that because OMG what am I going to do if I can't text her 50 times a day? P^2 has a son, M, that is a few weeks younger than Kaeli. Kaeli and M have been super close since they were in the womb! It's so weird that for the next four years I won't be able to see him growing up. Not to mention that her and the hubby have been trying to have another baby, and the thought that they could come back to the states with a little P^2 who I don't know is heartbreaking.

Rambling #3
This conversation took place between the sons of P^2 and another friend. Both boys are 6.

J: Hey, M do you know Kaeli?
M: Yeah. She's kind of my cousin*.
J: She's really pretty.

* M calls Rob uncle, even though Rob isn't his actual uncle. M is convinced that if Rob and I ever get married, he and Kaeli will be cousins.

How effing cute is all of that? This age is fun.

Rambling #4
If you follow me on Twitter (kristi_kp...but why would you because I'm awfully boring) then you know I revealed a shameful secret. I have this strange desire to read Lauren Conrad's book LA Candy. I can't even explain why. You can stop wanting to be my friends now. I understand.

I could keep rambling. It's one of my specialties, but I think y'all have been through enough torture. I totally get it if you just skimmed.

On a side note, I feel so much better getting all of this out there. I really shouldn't take accidental blogging breaks anymore!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Thank You, Jimmy Fallon For Making A Girl's Dream Come True

Jimmy Fallon is on a noble crusade to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell.

Y'all can't even begin to imagine how much I want to see this happen.

Check out my first love, Zack Morris, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon!

(it's kind of long, but worth every second)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Let This Be One of those Things She Forgets When She Gets Older

I think I just took the award for the most ridiculous and pointless thing ever said to a 6 year old.

Kaeli has been having some listening issues lately, and it's grinding on my last nerve. My usually sweet, well-behaved, and compliant daughter literally hears nothing that comes out of my mouth. I have to say something 5 times before she acknowledges me, and even then she barely carries out any of the tasks I ask her to do.

I'm pretty positive that this phase is brought on by the end of the school year. It's the last week of school, and I think both of us are just tired of the routine. We're both irritable and exhausted.

Last night, after battling with her for what felt like an eternity (but was probably only 20 minutes) I took away TV privileges for the rest of the school year. (school ends Thursday, but I thought it sounded more drastic worded the other way!!) She did not take this well and mumbled under her breath all the way to her bedroom. This morning, she was complaining about how mean and unfair I was for taking away the TV (the kid needs her Disney channel), and I said something that I'm still shaking my head about.

Kaeli: But it's not fair that you get to watch TV and I don't.
Me: (are y'all ready for this piece of brilliance that I am about to share?) Well, I listen to me so I get to watch TV. You don't listen to me so you don't get to watch TV.

Seriously? I LISTEN TO ME. It doesn't even make sense. As soon as it came out of my mouth I knew it was stupid. At the same time, I realized it was totally something my own mother would say which freaks me out on so many levels. When did I turn into my mother? I didn't see that happen at all.

If I expect to be able to battle with her when she is a teenager, I am going to have to have better comebacks. Dear God that one was shameful!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Because I Haven't Mentioned Edward Cullen in Forever

Y'all know I had no choice but to jump on the leaked New Moon movie poster bandwagon, right. I just have no control over my Edward Cullen impulses.



I just have to say that I LOVE THIS MOVIE POSTER. The only way it would be better is if *I* had any acting talent whatsoever, was cast as Bella Swan, and got to make-out with Edward Cullen all day long.

Would y'all think I was super ridiculous if I already had the movie release date set in my iPhone? That's totally normal, right? RIGHT?