Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Where Does She Come Up With This Stuff

Kaeli: Remember when I threw a cup at you, and you put me in time out?
Me: Yes, I remember.
Kaeli: Was I 2 or 3 years old when I did that?
Me: You were three. ( I remember because it was the first time she was knowingly and deliberately being a brat)
Kaeli: Aww man, I wish I would have been 2 when I did that.
Me: Why?
Kaeli: Because all 2 year olds are bad, but at 3 I should have known better.

Seriously, where does she come up with that? I really never thought she would remember that fun eventful trip into time out land!

I Guess This is What Happens When Kids Learn To Read

Kaeli: Mommy, what's this word?
Me: Kaeli, I'm driving. You're going to have to spell it for me.
Kaeli: W - O - M - B (Kaeli sounding it out) WaOoMmBa. What's that?
Me: What are you reading?
Kaeli: My new library book from school.

Check out the culprit

Kaeli and I have had the 6 years old version of the "where do babies come from?" talk, but having your kid spell out the word WOMB on the way home from Grandma's is a little shocking.

So, as soon as we got home I took a look at the book, and I have to say it's actually really adorable and charming. It's an unborn baby's perspective on what it's like waiting to be born. The line Kaeli was asking about is "Dear Ma, What's a baby to do in a womb with no view?" How cute is that? They refer to the umbilical cord as a bungee cord, so I did have to explain that, but no biggie. It's written by the author of the Junie B Jones books that Kaeli loves. (Ok, fine. I love them too.) It really would be a perfect gift for a kid waiting for his/her new baby brother or sister to be born.

But, to be honest, I was a little shocked that Kaeli found the book in her school library. Don't get me wrong, I love books. I think there is so much to learn from books. I don't really agree with censorship and the book isn't inappropriate at all, but I can't help but think that some parents would be none to pleased if their kid came home with it. Maybe I'm not giving other parents the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I just think I'm more opened minded than other people. But wouldn't thinking I'm more open minded than other people make me somewhat close minded? Oh, all this philosophical thinking is making my head hurt.

Bottom line: I was able to hear my baby talk about wombs, and I didn't crash the car. Hurray for me!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

What I've Been Reading

I love to read, and since I spend 1 1/2 to 2 hours on a bus every day, I go through a lot of books. And since my opinion on everything is so important to the world, I've decided to review some of the books I've read recently. I promise to keep the reviews short!!

I read pretty much anything. I don't have a specific genre, but I do tend to go through phases. Recently, I've been in a "let's read true stories about someone else's life" phase.

Waiter Rant by A. Waiter - The title says it all. It's full of stories about a guy's life in the restaurant biz. Bad customers, the crappy tips they leave, and the gross stuff servers do to bad customers who leave crappy tips. I should mention that there is some nice stuff too. I picked up the book for two reasons. 1) I spent my college years as a server, so I feel A. Waiter's pain and 2) I've been reading his blog for a while, and I figure if I've been reading some one's blog forever then I should buy his book. It's all about support, people. If any of y'all write a book, know that you'll sell at least one copy!! Overall, it was good. Quick read...pretty funny...it's probably most enjoyed by other victims of the restaurant industry.

Audition - Barbara Walters - Laugh all you want, but I LOVE Barbara Walters. I even DVR The View everyday while I'm at work. I remember staying up late on Friday nights, as a kid, just to watch 20/20. The book was good. She's met just about everyone in the world, so the book had a lot of history in it. There were some dry parts, but the chapters about her early life and the problems she had with her daughter were great.

The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections of Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal - Laurie Notaro - I love an author with a creative title. It's the second book I've read by Notaro. I think her first one, The Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Club, was better, but this is an entertaining read. Several LOL moments. There is something about reading about hilarious/embarrassing things that happen in other people's lives that just speaks to me.

My Horizontal Life, A Collection of One Night Stands and Are you there Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea - Chelsea Handler - Chelsea Lately is another show on my DVR list, and these two books are HILARIOUS. The people on the bus around me probably thought I was crazy because I was laughing my ass off while reading them. I think Vodka is better than Horizontal Life, but both are, in my opinion, must reads. The titles alone make them worthy. They're fun, light, silly, a little vulgar, but mostly they're just fantastic. I think I should track down Chelsea Handler and convince her to be my new best friend.

Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen - It doesn't fit in the overall theme of my current phase, but I have to include it because I was shocked by how much I liked it. I decided to read it because of the first line, "I am ninety. Or ninety-three. One or the other." It was about a man telling the story of his life working in a traveling circus during the Great Depression. I highly recommend reading it.

I'm currently reading Jennifer Weiner's Good in Bed. I have a soft spot in my heart for all things chick lit. So far, I really like it, but I'll have to give you more of a review next time! Since I'm about halfway through Good in Bed, I need some new suggestions. Like I said, I tend to go through phases (like the time I read every Nicolas Sparks (The Notebook- sigh) book back to back or the 5 months I spent reading nothing but Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper - omg so good) or the year I spent reading Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series), but then I overload on one author/genre and need something new and fresh. Anyone have any must reads for me to check out?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Drunk Blogging is WAY More Satisfying Than Drunk Dialing

This song should be listened to as you read this post.

When I get overwhelmed, stressed, and my life makes me tired, I throw myself a pity party. Pity parties are the greatest thing EVER. My normal pity party includes vegging out on the couch while watching countless episodes of Gilmore Girls on DVD. It's my favorite show ever on television. EVER. Nothing cheers me up more than a smart and witty mother/daughter team. When Kaeli was younger, she used to watch the show with me, and when the opening song came on we would dance around the living room singing. My friends think I brainwashed her, but I'm just showing her what kind of relationship she and I should have. It makes my heart smile when she asks to watch it. I totally want to be Lorelai Gilmore when I grow up. She is so awesome.

Anyway, on my way home from work I decided that it has been way too long since my last pity party and judging from my last post I need one, badly.

But my normal pity party just wasn't going to cut it (sorry lorelai and rory). I'm at like DEFCON 1 here. Check the link. It's like the worst one. People always mention DefCon 5, but 1 is way more serious. DefCon 5 is a joke compared to DefCon 1. Serious action needed to be taken. I did what any fabulous girl would do, hit the hard liquor and watched my new DVD, Sex and the City - The Movie. I just bought the extended cut because I'm awesome like that. Sex and the City is my second favorite show ever created, so you know I was one of those chicks standing in line and watching it in the theaters opening weekend.

*pause while I make new adult beverage*

*new beverage made, we may proceed*

While watching Sex and the City, I laughed, I cried, and I cast all the parts to include my real life friends. It was so fun. I should warn you now that not all of my favorite friends are cast in my Sex and the City Movie. If your not in it, it's not because I don't love you. I'm drunk and looking for extremes here. Plus, it's my movie and I can cast whomever I choose. Is that even the right time to use whomever? I've never been able to figure that out. Anyway...

Carrie: Duh! I'm Carrie. She's so fabulous. I figure in 17 years, when Kaeli is done with college, I should totally be able to own my very own Manolos. Even though I've never been much of a writer, it's like my dream job. How the heck did I become an accountant? Oh, I know! Because I'm a sucky writer that happens to be totally NON CREATIVE and good with numbers. How boring.

Charolette: She's played by my friend, Leanne. Leanne is so Charlotte. She always knows the polite thing to do, and she's the one to go to if you need unconditional support. She's way nicer and more sympathetic than I'll ever be.

Miranda: When I need to let out my bitchiness and get a healthy dose of cynicism, then I know it is time to check in with Tabatha. Plus, she's one of two friends that remembers crazy Kristi from high school. She has stories.

Samantha: (I love Carrie, but secretly Sam is my favorite) Wow. Samantha is hard to cast. It took halfway through the movie to figure it out, but when I did I couldn't believe it took so long. It's so obvious. APRIL!! Except the whole slutty, sleeping around part. April's not like that ( but I do have some great stories. If she ever runs for political office, I could sell a tell-all book!) I think what tipped me off that Samantha=April is the total honesty, unwavering loyalty, and the knack for a well placed dirty joke.

Stanford: Ugh. I so totally do not have a fantastic gay male friend in my life. That is so what is missing. Starting tomorrow, I'm searching for a homosexual best friend who wants to tell me how fabulous I am!!


Smith: Unfortunately, I don't have a Smith. No amount of racking my brain will produce one. Add him to tomorrow's search.

Harry: He would be none other than my friend Precious's (yes, that's her real name) hubby, Sean. He's super nice, a great dad, and the most fun to joke around with. We have this total love/hate thing going on, but the hate part is totally pretend.

Steve: He's your stereotypical Beta-male. But not in a bad way. In a totally sweet and supportive way. Drawn to Type-A women, sensitive, and willing to support aforementioned Type-A woman as she climbs the ladder of success. The only person that fits this description is Kaeli's dad, Ryan. I don't talk about him much. He passed away in a car accident when Kaeli was 4. It sucked. Enough Said.

Mr Big: First off, I find it absolutely wonderful that through the entire series his name is Mr. Big, and in the movie we get to learn that his real name is John. How great is that? Rob = Mr. Big. No doubt in my mind. For millions of reasons that I will never be able to explain. He's that all encompassing love that you can't live without, but it makes you crazy to live with. Crazy in a good way, though. He's also the one that can break your heart in ways you never imagined.

Drunk blogging has it's draw backs. It just took me 15 minutes to proof read and correct spelling errors. Grammatical errors be damned.

Kristi OUT!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

I'm a Hormonal Mess of a Girl or Why Long Distance Relationships Suck

Be warned now because I'm pretty sure this is going to turn into a raging, ranting, incoherent, and quite possibly pathetic mess of a post. Seriously, this is your warning.

I am currently suffering from being a girl. For some unknown reason, today (and yesterday and the day before and the day before...you get the idea) I am an emotional wreck. The logical side of my brain is like "OMG, Kristi, you're being so ridiculous" and the illogical/crazy/uncontrollable side is like "Stop picking on me! You're so mean. I HATE YOU". This constant conflict is wreaking havoc on me. I think it's causing wrinkles.

I am just not having a great day at work. I'm terrified of going any further because complaining about work seems like a risky thing to do to the entire Internet world. I don't even know why I'm having such a rough day. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with work, but more with the whole crazy psychotic emotional war my brain has decided to inflict on itself. You know that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha doesn't get a certain client (Richard) because she had slept with someone he knew, and then she has to make it to the elevator so no one sees her cry because crying at the work place is a sign of weakness, and no one wants to be weak? (I think that's the longest run-on sentence I've ever written) Remember that episode? Well, that's my day. Not the whole losing a client because I slept with someone, but the crying part. I feel on the verge of crying constantly and for, apparently, no reason.

Since I've figured out that work is only like 10% of what is wrong with me, I have to figure out everything else. I think one big part of it is that I miss my friends and my family. A lot. More than I really thought I would when I moved here. I haven't met a lot of people in the year that I've lived here. I'm either working or taking care of Kaeli, and it doesn't leave a lot of time for meeting people. Plus, I don't really fit in with the people I have met. Not that staying in the same place would have helped because a lot of them have scattered to, and I don't really get to talk to them as much as I want to. My dad, mom, and sister all left Texas years ago, and my little core group of friends became my family. I don't even know if they all realize how much I love and care about them. I just miss them. I miss having fun smart girls to hang out with. I miss having friends around that know me and love me no matter what.

I'm also pretty sure it has a lot to do with this long distance relationship crap. I know I shouldn't complain because so many people have way worse than I do, but being apart sucks. Especially when I'm having the week that I'm having. I seriously just need a hug from him. It is so frustrating to know that he's The One, but we're still spending all of this time apart. I understand that we can't see each other every weekend. He has things to do and plans and obligations. I really do get it, but if I complain even the tiniest bit about it we end up in some stupid argument. An argument in which my normally logical and fabulous self turns into an irrational brat. It's all just so ridiculous and sounds so pathetic when I read it back to myself.

I just feel so stuck sometimes. My job isn't what I thought it would be, and I really don't like this town I live in. I have an escape plan, but I feel like picking Kaeli up and moving her in the middle of a school year seems unbelievably mean. I'm a bona fide Army brat, and I hated moving in the middle of the year. I think about moving next summer, but I feel guilty for wanting to uproot her at all. She's been through more than most 6 year olds should have to go through (whole other sad story), and I just want to do what is best for her.

I'm even having trouble with the idea of publishing this. I really don't like to be vulnerable and emotional. It's really not my bag. I like to keep things fun and light. I'm sorry to unleash my hot mess ramblings onto the poor and unsuspecting Internets, but I needed to vent or face the real possibility of spontaneously combusting from all the inner turmoil. Hope y'all don't mind.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'm a Blogger Moron!!

OMG. So while playing around on my blog today and trying to make it look pretty, I somehow made that "Layout" tab turn to "Template". This is not good because now my blog looks weird and all of my fun sidebar stuff is gone. Does anyone know how to fix that? I've been looking at the help page, but it says something about an "upgrade your blog" button under the template tab, but I've searched and that button is no where to be found. I'm a little worried that I seriously messed something up!!

I need help!!! Any ideas, wise Internets? I'm desperate!

****updated- Crisis Averted - I am not a blogger moron! I'm a blogger GENIUS! I did massive research at the Blogger Help Group, and I fixed it!! Hurray.****

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Power of Purple

Purple is my favorite color, so imagine my excitement now that purple is THE COLOR for fall.

While doing a little Internet browsing at the Coach site, I stumbled on to the most fabulous bag.

......................MY PRECIOUS!!.....................

It would be perfect for my collection. I want it. I need it. I can't live without it.

But in all it's awesomeness, it comes with a price tag of $698. In my younger, more carefree, days I wouldn't have cared. It would be mine, and we would live happily ever after. Then I had to get all grown up and nervous about such an extravagant purse purchase. Damn responsibility. I tried to convince Rob that he HAD to buy it for me because nothing else in the entire world will make me happy unless I have this bag, but he didn't fall for it. Boys just don't understand.

The fire has been lit. I am inspired. I NEED a purple bag. So, I'm searching high and low for a more reasonably priced object of my affection. I've been searching online, but I'm just not one of those girls that can buy a bag off of the Internet. I need to touch it, hold it, feel the essence of the bag. This is going to take some actual field hours.

Anyone see any fabulous purple bags with my name on them lately?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Raise Your Hand If You Have A Weird Fear

I was reading this article today, and it gave me the courage to confess a deep dark secret.

My name is Kristi, and I suffer from gephyrophobia. That's right y'all. I have a weird sweaty palm inducing fear of bridges (and the occasional highway overpass). It's not so bad if I'm the passenger, but put me in the driver's seat, and you're just asking for a mini-freak out. It's 10 times worse if there is water under the bridge. It's so weird because I'm not afraid of heights or water. Just bridges.

Unlike for other gephyrophobics, mine is not a debilitating fear. I don't have to be locked in a trunk before crossing a bridge or anything. Mostly, I just get super sweaty, unbelievably nervous, and I have to really focus on the road in front of me while taking deep breaths. Absolutely no talking or using the radio while Kristi is trying to cross a bridge. Any distractions and I could lose control of the car and go plummeting into the water/road below.

There was this time when Rob and I first started dating, and we were meeting up at a place I hadn't been too. He was giving me directions over the phone and neglected to mention that I had to go over an overpass (probably because he didn't realize that I was insane). I literally had to tell him to shut up and not talk to me until I was over it. My palms got sweaty, and I was still a little shaky when I finally met up with him. He didn't know about my crazy fear until that moment. I guess being a total freak isn't a deal breaker in his book because, shockingly, he kept dating me.

There is this bridge in Lake Charles, LA that I had to drive over once. I still get chills when I think about it. The one pictured in the article I mentioned scares the hell out of me. I truly don't know if I could drive myself over it.

Since I'm so self-aware and everything, I've decided that it stems from when I was 8 years old. I was living in California, in 1989, when a really big earthquake hit San Francisco. One minute I was watching Kids Incorporated (with Fergie when she was still Stacy Ferguson), and the next minute our entire house was moving. My dad grabbed me and my sister and held us under a doorway. It felt like we were rocking forever. It was my first and only earthquake experience, and I never want to go through that again. It was so scary. When we finally got power, the news channels kept showing all the destruction. The one thing that still sticks out in my mind is the San Francisco - Oakland Bay Bridge. It was a double decker type bridge and part of the top deck collapsed in on the bottom deck. Seeing that is all it took to freak me out for life.

The problem was only made worse last year when, sadly, the bridge in Minneapolis collapsed because, now, I have recent actual proof that bridges are scary and dangerous and that falling off of one is totally possible.

So now that y'all have even more evidence that I'm a super major freak, how about y'all? Anyone else out there have any unusual (or even totally usual) fears?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What would my name be?

I shamelessly stole this from Janet. It cracked me up, and I am in the process of putting in the names of everyone I know!

The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

With children's names like Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow, and Trig, I'm left to wonder what she would have named me.

The verdict is Hump Gizzards Palin. Classy!!

Let me know what names y'all get!!

**I do feel the need to stress that overall I think Sarah Palin is crazy, she scares the crap out of me, and there is no way in hell that woman is getting my vote in November!**

Monday, September 15, 2008

Being Blah

I wish I could give y'all something bright and cheery today, but I'm not really feeling bright and cheery.

TV stations here have been doing nonstop Hurricane Ike coverage, and, quite frankly, it's getting tough to watch. I can't believe how much has been lost. To see entire neighborhoods that have been swept away is unbelievable. I've seen hurricane disasters on TV before, but to have it happen so close is so much worse. It's just so real.

Schools are still closed. My offices are still closed. I know a lot of buildings downtown were damaged, but I'm not sure how my building fared.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I have water, electricity, and gas in my car. So many people are still waiting for those luxuries.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer today.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Rain and Wind and Ike..Oh My

**update**- word from my friend (the crazy one who stayed and had me freaked out all night!) is that our area is okay...lots of downed trees and fences but power is back up and no damage to our homes...hurray!! (saturday 8:45pm)

I'm a hurricane evacuee!!

My area wasn't under a mandatory evacuation or anything, but my choices were to a) shelter in place (i just learned that is hurricane lingo for staying put) and almost certainly spend the weekend with with no electricity or b) spend the weekend snuggled up on the boyfriend's couch watching season 3 of Entourage on dvd. I choose b. I guess this is one time having a long distance relationship comes in handy. Plus, I like to fancy myself a rock star, but when it comes down to it I'm a big scaredy cat. I've lived in the area for just over a year, and this is my first experience with a hurricane.

Traffic wasn't too bad. I left kind of late last night. It took about an hour longer than normal.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but it is really weird to lock your doors and not know what things are going to look like when you get back. I don't think flooding will be the problem, but judging from The Weather Channel the winds are going to be brutal. Speaking of The Weather Channel, I can't stop watching it. It's like I've become obsessed. All day I've had the TV on hurricane coverage. Worrying about the people that didn't leave, friends and strangers, is tough too. To be honest, in the year I"ve lived there, Houston hasn't really grown on me, but now I suddenly feel protective and scared about what might happen to my city.

I'll leave you with some pictures from my late night evacuation.

Kaeli and Maverick are excited for our trip. Notice the kennel in the corner. My car is super cute, but super small!

Not the best picture, but hopefully y'all can tell that the lines for gas were LONG. Thankfully, I had filled up before the threat of Ike, and since I don't drive much I still had a full tank.

Maverick is the worst traveler ever. He wouldn't sit still and kept doing this annoying whining noise.

Kaeli passed out while watching movies on my iPod. Then I couldn't get it back and was forced to listen to crappy late night radio.

Attractive aren't I!! I was not a happy camper by the end of my little trip!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Good Morning, Sunshine

I am not a morning person. I have never been a morning person. I doubt I will ever be a morning person.

I was not one of those kids that got up at the ass crack of dawn to open Christmas presents. My parents will tell you that they had to literally come and get me when it was time to open presents because I was still asleep.

In college, a class before 10:30am was a class that was skipped. Twice I tried to take a 9am class, and twice it did not work out well.

I'm truly confused by old people that get up at 6am. When I'm old and retired, there is no way in hell I'm getting out of bed before 9am.

I do not enjoy getting out of bed in the morning. Everyday I have a battle with my alarm clocks.

There is alarm clock #1. #1 goes off at 5am. He's there to gently remind me that I need to start getting up soon. I take great pleasure in throwing #1 against the wall.

Alarm clock #2 goes off at 5:30am. This is the alarm set for the time I need to get up for a smooth morning. I hit the snooze a minimum of 2 times. In an effort to trick myself, alarms #1 and #2 are set 15 minutes ahead. It rarely works because I just remember that is 15 minutes earlier than my clock says and hit the snooze. Again.

There is also cell phone alarm #1. Cell #1 also goes off at 5:30am. It is actually set in real time so it goes off after alarms #1 and #2. Cell #1 is meant to confuse me because on any given morning there is no telling where my cell may be. It could be on the stand next to me, on the floor, under the bed, hidden in my comforter. Cell #1 is probably most effective because of the search and rescue it takes to turn off the most annoying sound ever.

Last, there is cell phone alarm #2. Cell #2 goes off at 6am. It's basically there to mock me because if I'm not out of bed before this alarm goes off the morning will descend into complete chaos.

Somewhere in the middle of hair/make-up and getting dressed, Kaeli needs to be woken up. The promise of food can arouse her from sleep pretty quickly. She then stumbles into the dining room, eats breakfast, and gets dressed. Besides the making of her breakfast, she needs very little supervision at this point. I don't think I can fully express how happy this makes me. I emerge from my room to find a fed and dressed kid watching cartoons.

Sounds like the worse is over, but this is actually crunch time. The plan is to be out the door at 6:30, but it can easily turn to 6:35am if the other non-morning person (Kaeli) feels that I have slighted her in anyway. The morning meltdown will normally occur over uneven pigtails, or if she feels at all rushed while putting on her shoes. 6:35am will turn into 6:41am, when, halfway to my friend's house (she lives practically next door and is a godsend because she takes Kaeli to school with her son for me), I realize that Kaeli's lunch box is still on the counter.

When I finally get to work, it takes at least 2 cups of coffee before I feel even close to normal.

I am not a morning person.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

My Inner 9 Year Old Has Resurfaced

The first half of this post is from what I wrote down on my Myspace blog April 4, 2008

i realize that what i am about to confess will bring ridicule and harassment, but i just don’t care...

new kids on the block just officially announced that they ARE BACK TOGETHER!...thanks to my perezhilton.com addiction i’ve been speculating this for months but i didn’t want to get my hopes up until today when the loves of my preadolescent life were on the today show and said they’re working on a new album and are planning to tour in the fall!

i think i must establish how much i LOVED new kids when i was younger...i had the bedspread...and posters...and buttons...and t-shirts...and sunglasses...and even a jordan knight doll...i used to watch their cartoon on saturday mornings...only the true fans even remember that there was a new kids cartoon on saturday mornings

my mom took me to a nkotb concert when i was 9...it was my first concert ever and it was just about the greatest thing (a very close 2nd to the birth of my daughter)...i feel that i just need to see them again...with much better seats now that i am an adult.

i have now made it my life’s mission to see this concert...(i would invite you leanne but you told me once that you never liked the new kids and frankly i’ve questioned our friendship ever since).

i’m just so excited...they are performing on the Today Show on May 16th (that’s my dad’s bday...i bet he thinks this is a spectacular present)...my dvr will be set...on second thought i might even just skip work all together that day...it’s practically a holiday in the life of kristi p...

I STILL LOVE YOU JORDAN KNIGHT...you were my first celebrity crush and no others have come close to the passion i felt for you...that justin timberlake thing was just a moment of weakness...i even bought that solo album you did when i was a teenager...your single is on my ipod...it’s part of my "get sexy" music when i work out (thank you april for the new name for my workout playlist)...I LOVE JORDAN KNIGHT!!!!!

My dreams and life mission have come true, Internets. I got the text from my friend, Kylie. It says "Oh yeah Oh yeah! Got our tickets! 6th row baby!"

HOLY FREAKIN CRAP. I'm going to see NKOTB. Jealous? I know you are.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Calling it a Lovebug doesn't make it cute

September has always been my favorite month. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I used to wish I had been born 3 days later so that I would have a September birthday and be able to claim sapphire as my birthstone. I love that it is no longer 852 degrees, and I can run errands without feeling like my skin is going to melt off. I love that all the stores start putting out fall decorations and Halloween costumes. Plans for the holidays start forming. September and I have always had a friendly relationship.

Until I moved to this town. I'm from a much smaller Texas area, and I moved here a year ago seeking a big city career. Blah. If someone would have told me what awful vile creatures I would find here, I swear I would have never moved.

It's the damn Lovebug.

These things are disgusting. They are everywhere. EVERYWHERE! They swarm front doors. They fly into your face and land in your ears. I hate them. Hate them. Apparently, September is their happy time, and they come out of hiding to fornicate. They spend most of their time mating, so they're always flying around stuck together.

I just read that after they're done doing the deed the male dies and the female carries him around until she lays her eggs. Ick.

Plus, because they have the name Lovebug, Kaeli has decided that they are cute, and she let's them land on her and she tries to play with them. My skin crawls just thinking about it. She even talks to them. "Hi, Lovebugs. Mommy hates you, so you should move away from the door before she kills you". Oh yes. My daughter said that. And she's totally right.

I'd like to point out that I am no stranger to insect infestations. In my hometown we have cricket season. Yes, cricket season. Crickets take over the town. Some years are worse than others. In highschool, I remember crickets falling from the ceiling. Teachers would step on them without missing a beat during the lecture. Driving into gas stations was a treat because I got to hear the crunch of hundreds of dead crickets as my car drove over them. Going through a drive-thru meant risking crickets flying into your car as you got your food.

Sounds pretty gross, right.

I'd take the crickets over the damn Lovebugs any day.

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's My Party and I'll Blog If I Want To

I'm a super slacker blogger. I've been meaning to get this one up all week, but the sudden attack of whatever Kaeli was sick with last week has rendered me useless.

Last Friday was my birthday. I love having a late August birthday. I super love when it falls on the long Labor Day weekend. I also really love being a Virgo. It was the big 2-7. My dad pointed out that I'm quickly running out of numbers to put after the 2 and will have to change to 3 really soon. Wasn't that nice of him?

I didn't have huge plans for my birthday until Rob decided to take matters into his own hands and put together a little celebration. He called our friends, and a few of them decided that celebrating the birth of me would be the greatest way to spend a Saturday night. As it happens when you get older, we all live in different parts of Texas, so they all chose his place to meet because it's the closest, and its current bachelor pad feel made it perfect for party central.

About a week before the aforementioned party, Rob mentioned that there was a surprise. A big one. Well, I'm not so good with surprises. Sure, I love random gifts and surprises that are actual surprises (aka - I don't know they are coming), but knowing a surprise is coming, especially one qualified as BIG, freaks me out. Blame it on my control freak nature or the fact that I hate being left out of the loop and everyone else knowing what is going to happen. Plus, I have a bit of an overactive imagination, so I come up with the greatest surprise ever, and what if the actual surprise doesn't deliver. It's like hoping for a pair of Jimmy Choos and being given Crocs. I called all of my friends trying to get them to crack and tell me what was going on. Can you believe that no one told me. No one. Naturally, I spent the week stressing about it. Telling myself not to get my hopes up because he worked hard on a surprise, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by having a lackluster reaction.

Wanna know what the surprise was? Do you?

I got to his place and guess who opened the door...guess...

That's right y'all. Rob flew my sister all the way from Maryland to Texas for my birthday. My little sister that moved far far away when she was 18, and I never get to see her because we are grown and busy. The same little sister that I beg to move back to Texas at least once a week.

Moral of the story - Trust Rob. His surprises rock. And I feel I can safely say that he is seriously the best boyfriend ever. He's great and wonderful and I heart him and blah blah blah (insert all other corny mushy girly stuff here)

The rest of the weekend was a super awesome blast.

Friday was the usual tame birthday funness. We had dinner at my favorite sushi place and went to the movies. We went to one of those fantastic movie places that serves alcohol. I swear these places have ruined me against going to ordinary theaters. I love being able to drink beer at the movies and having someone bring it to me. We saw Tropic Thunder, and we all loved it. So so funny. I pretty much love Ben Stiller (Zoolander is one of my most favorite movies ever. Totally underrated). Tom Cruise played the part of a greedy studio exec, and I have to say he was awesome. I've always loved Tom Cruise (my dog is named after his character in Top Gun because I loved him so much), but lately he's been all crazy. This movie totally redeemed him to me. He was so over the top and hilarious. I had no idea he could be that funny!

Saturday was the big celebration. The friends showed up that afternoon. It was your basic let's pretend I'm a rock star and forget that I'm a mature adult evening. We all headed downtown and had dinner at a Cajun type restaurant. I had this drink called a Worm Burner and about halfway through the second one decided I should totally name any future children after that drink. We hit up a bar for a while, then ended at a Pete's Dueling Piano Bar. If you've never been to one, I think you should drop everything you're doing and go. I've been a couple times, and it's always super fun. We grabbed a cab back to the house and spent the rest of the evening playing Wii Fit. I rock at the hula hoop challenge. We stayed up way too late, and the next morning I hated myself.

The server cut out Amber's boyfriend!!

I did get a call from Rob Wednesday night asking me why there was a Corona street sign hidden under his kitchen sink. Let me start from the beginning, Rob and his roommate have this Corona street sign in their house. I hate this sign. Always have. Not quite sure why, but I hate it. It's pretty well known that I think the sign is stupid. He found it under the sink and asked if I hid it there Saturday night. I have no recollection of hiding this stupid sign. He searched for a witness and found one. My friend, Amber, totally ratted me out. Apparently, we were watching the guys play pool, I said that I hated that sign and Rob isn't in college anymore so it's stupid, then I picked it up and put it under the sink. News to me, but I stand by what I did. I hate that sign.

It was a great way to start my 27th year. I sometimes can't believe I'm 27. I still feel 19. I still feel like I should be waiting tables, staying out all night, and taking irresponsible trips to Cancun in the middle of a college semester. Even with the shock of getting older, I have a feeling 27 is going to be a really fun year. I'm totally looking forward to it.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Oh, How I've Missed Y'all

Four days with no blogging of any kind was crazy! I feel so out of the loop. Plus, it seems like I was the only one in the whole world who decided not to blog because, when I finally snapped back into reality, I had a bazillion blogs to read. (I've mentioned my addiction before) After about an hour devoted to nothing but blogs, I now feel almost caught up. I haven't even checked in with Perez Hilton, yet. I have no clue what it going on in the world of celebrity gossip.

I don't think I mentioned that the reason I decided to forgo responsibility for the weekend was because of my birthday celebration. I have fun pictures and a couple stories about 1.) the best surprise EVER and 2.) what was quite possibly the funniest present EVER.

Sadly, y'all will have to wait for the fun post, but I will tell you about the WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN ON MY BIRTHDAY. I was driving to the boyfriend's house when about halfway in, my cell phone just froze up and refused to work. I frantically found the nearest AT&T store, but, of course, they could do nothing to fix it. I am currently on day 5 of no cell phone, and I think I might die. The phone was still under warranty, so a new one is being sent. It should get here today, but, in the mean time, I'm having text messaging withdrawals. My fingers are twitching, and I think I'm getting the shakes. I got my first cell only 6 short years ago. How has it become such a vital part of my life. I'm thinking the break from being constantly in touch and reachable is probably good for me.

Plus, I want to remind everyone that tonight is the series premiere of 90210. I can't get enough teen dramas, and I've been excited about this show for months. I was a hardcore fan of the original. I wanted to be Kelly Taylor when I grew up, and marry Brandon Walsh. Lori Loughlin (Becky from Full House) is even on the new show. AWESOME. Hopefully, it doesn't suck, but I figure it at least deserves a couple episode trial run before I decide whether to add it to my very full and competitive television line up!!