Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday - Got the dreaded call from Kaeli's school. She's sick. How she managed to get sick the 2nd day of school I will never know. I had to pick her up, and, while picking up my sick kid from school isn't that bad, getting from my downtown office to Kaeli's school in the suburbs sucked. The poor girl slept all day. She was so sad, and her drama queen-ness was in full affect. She even made me hold her glass of water and straw for her so she could drink.
Wednesday - Kaeli's fever Tuesday was high enough to keep her out of school for the day. We went to the doctor. They said she had strep throat. Not fun. I stayed home from work, but selfishly thought about the very big report I had to have finished by Thursday (that I had been slacking on for 2 weeks). Then, I spent the day feeling guilty for thinking about work while I should be glad I could take care of Kaeli. To get over the guilt, I watched Jon and Kate Plus 8, and thanked the Lord that I only have 1 kid.
Thursday - Since Kaeli had been on her antibiotics, and the doctor said she wasn't contagious, she went to school and I went to work. Spent the entire day stressing over a stupid report that I hated and never want to have to do again. Ever. But I will. In between cursing said report, I worried that Kaeli wasn't feeling better (even though she said she did that morning) and the school would call and yell at me for being a slacker mom.
I am SO looking forward to the weekend. I've taken Friday off, and, since Monday is Labor Day, I have that off too. Hurray 4 day weekend! I've secured a weekend stay for Kaeli with her grandparents, and I am off to pretend I'm young and stress free. I did hesitate to go along with the plan because Kaeli got sick, but seeing how when we got home she managed to run around playing and yelling with the dog, I'm thinking she's feeling better. The only indication she is sick is the few more days of antibiotics.
Y'all might not hear from me until late Monday. Dry your eyes. I'll be back. I promise. Plus, I just might have fun stories about what it's like to not have a 6 year old following me everywhere I go!!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Kaeli in Kindergarten
Kaeli in 1st grade
1. Apparently, I have some first day of school polka dot fetish
2. Am I completely insane or does she look totally different...in just 1 year
Today, August 25, is my friend Maria's 26th birthday. In honor of her, I'm going to share my very favorite memory of me and Maria.
Maria and I met during our days in the restaurant business. She was a hostess, and I was a server. From the moment I met her, I loved her. The managers used to get so mad at the amount of time I spent at the hostess stand giggling with my new friend. Through the course of our new friendship, we realized that our birthdays are in the same week. We hatched the brilliant plan to celebrate her 18th and my 19th birthday together. The plan included getting tattoos together, and I thank the fact we chickened out every day. We totally would have ended up with something stupid that we would regret now. Instead, I waited a few years before I got my tattoo and have something that I love. But that is a different story for a different day.
Back to the birthday celebration. First stop was dinner with a group of our friends. Dressed in our skimpiest outfits, of course. I had on a black tank top and a pair of the shortest tiniest cheetah print shorts ever created. I still can't believe I ever fit into them. I have searched for pictures of proof, but can't find them anywhere! She showed up in a tiny black skirt and a cheetah print halter top. We laughed at the coincidence, and figured we were so cosmically linked we subconsciously dressed alike.
Next stop, was some dude's house. That's right, some dude. I have no idea who it was or how I knew him, but his house was central to getting the party started. There we may or may not (to admit that I drank underage would be a poor example of how responsible I am) have indulged in alcoholic beverages. To be honest, I remember very little about this phase of our celebration.
Since it was Maria's 18th birthday, and, she could legally go clubbing, we decided that our stupid town wasn't good enough for us. We got in the car (with a DD of course) to drive an hour to a club that would do our party justice. Again, I do not remember the girl that was driving. Maria does, but, obviously, I had one thing on my mind, and that was to PAR-TEY. Maria and I sat in the back and made up a song. A song so horrible and embarrassing that I can't share the lyrics with you. It did have to do with the greatness of beer and dancing, though.
That brings us to the best part of my tribute to Maria. About halfway to the GREATEST CLUB EVER (or so we thought), Maria and I had to use the restroom. Bad. Problem was that we were at a super boring part of I-35, and there was nowhere to stop. NO WHERE. Our pee situation was becoming increasingly serious, so we had the driver pull off an access road so we could just go. We stopped, looked into the field, and there was a lone tree in the middle of it. It was the best cover we were going to find, so we dashed off. As we crowded around the tree, doing our business, I noticed lights turning on to my right. I looked over and realized that there was a house right next to us. WE WERE PEEING IN SOME ONE'S YARD. So, I screamed to Maria "holy crap, we're in some one's hard. We gotta run!" I took off while Maria ran behind me trying to get her skirt back over her ass yelling "Wait for me!" We dove into the car, and raced off. Only then did Maria notice that she had peed in an anthill and now had ants all over her feet. Luckily, we made it to the club shortly after (with our buzz still intact) and proceeded to have one great birthday celebration.
Happy Birthday, Maria. Thanks for being my friend for the last 8 years. Aren't you glad we have the good sense not to act like that anymore?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
KAELI: I know that girl! She was one of my bestest friends in kindergarten.
ME: Really? What is her name?
KAELI: I have no idea.
Yup. That's kindergarten best friends for you. Maybe she'll actually learn the girl's name in 1st grade.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
2- 12x18 bright white 50 count construction paper
2- 12x18 assorted colors 50 count construction paper
1 - 12x18 manila paper 50 count
5 - assorted plastic pocket and brad folders
4 - letter sized manila file folder 1/3 cut
5- 11x8.5 mulimethod tablet (what?)
2- comp book 8x10 red bl 36 count (what again?)
2- 120 count kleenex tissue
1 - large size plastic school box
1 - box reclosable quart bags 25 count
1 - 8oz. germ-x waterless hand sanitizer with pump
1- 3x3 4 pack yellow post-it notes
2 - 3x5 100 count ruled index cards
1 - 8 color crayola washable watercolors
1 - 24 count crayola crayons
2 - 4oz elmer's school glue
1 - 8 count washable crayola think classic markers
1 - sharp 5 inch fiskar scissors
6- small elmer's glue stick
1 - fluorescent yellow highlighter
6 - red check pencils uncapped
1 - pink bevel eraser
24 - no. 2 wood pencils
2 - box 2.5 gallon hefty one-zip 12 count
Did y'all quit reading halfway through. I did. Some of the stuff is labeled and put in her desk. The rest is put in boxes as community supplies. The list is daunting and stressful. Fortunately, at the end of kindergarten, the school sent home the order list. All I had to do was fill out a form with Kaeli's name, grade, and send a check. Then, tonight, viola, the supplies were all packaged up and sitting in her new classroom. How awesome is that? I'm still amazed by the process. I feel sorry for those unfortunate parents who didn't order the supplies in May!! I figure, with this system, I won't have to actually shop for school supplies for the rest of her elementary school years!!
I did find out tonight that the teacher would like the parents to write a letter about their kid. OMG. It's not so much the writing about Kaeli that has me freaking out. I could write about the greatness that is my kid forever. It's the actual writing of the letter. So many questions. So much anxiety. Should it be typed or handwritten? Should I make it pink and scented? Will that give it a little something extra? What if I make a grammar or spelling mistake? What if I sound like a complete idiot? Will she then assume my kid is a product of poor parenting? TOO MUCH PRESSURE. Ugh. I did not sign on for homework.
(wavy lines as i go into memory mode)
As I placed the adult beverages on the counter to pay, the cashier asked for my ID. I have no problem being carded. I keep my driver's license in an accessible place because it happens quite often. So, I pull out my license and hand it over.
CASHIER: Whoa! You're fat in this picture. You've lost some pounds.
ME: Ummm. Not really.
CASHIER: Yes you have. You look really fat.
ME: Wow, you're quite a smooth talker. I bet you do well with the ladies.
GUY IN LINE BEHIND ME: (awkward chuckle) Maybe it's his way of saying you look good now?
SERIOUSLY. W! T! F! Who says that to someone? I'm pretty sure it's in some guy handbook that you never ever ever comment on a girl's weight. I have problems with this for so many reasons. 1) It's a driver's license picture. I thought 99% of people look bad in their driver's license photo. 2) It's a really old picture. Like 5 or 6 years. 3) I don't think I look all that different. If I have lost weight, it's no more than 5 lbs. Not enough to illicit such a violent reaction. 4) Frankly, I'm just not that photogenic. For every good picture of me, there are dozens of not great ones. I have friends that never take a bad picture. I am not one of them.
I had never given much thought to my driver's license, but now, every time I pull it out, I'm waiting for the shocking reaction to my picture.
Ugh. Who says that to someone?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Things were going along just fine until we were talking while standing in a ridiculously long line at a register.
KAELI: Mom, I need an iPod.
ME: You're 6 years old. What do you need an iPod for?
KAELI: To listen to music, duh.
ME: You're 6 years old. You're not getting an iPod.
KAELI: But I really need one.
ME: YOU'RE 6 YEARS OLD.
Now, I'm not opposed to iPods. I have 2, my regular one and my shuffle (for when I work out...that's my story and I'm sticking to it) I just can't believe, that at 6, I'm already dealing with her requests for this stuff. I thought I still had a few more years of dolls and Junie B Jones books. Seriously, if I were to buy her an iPod at 6, what will she be asking for at 8 or 12? I don't even want to think about 16. I kind of feel like buying her an iPod now will open a door I'm not sure that I'm ready to go down. You can't close Pandora's box, my friends.
Am I overreacting about this? (who me? overreact? never!) Is an iPod no big deal these days? I was stoked when I got my first one, but does that mean I am just still mystified over the iPod because I grew up with cassette tapes? Should I add it to her Christmas shopping list? I need thoughts, opinions, perspective. Help me, wise Internets, you're my only hope!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Project Runway - I've been reading this blog for the past couple of weeks, and I love it. He does a play by play of the episode, but he absolutely hates Project Runway. He's not super mean about hating it, and he is always super hilarious while making fun of the outrageousness of the contestants. Check it out if you want a good laugh. Overall, this episode was a little blah for me. Blayne only used -licious as a suffix once, so I didn't have to shove a sharp object in my eye. Suede still talked in the third person, though, and I'm just not sure if I can take it much longer. I generally hate when the contestants work in teams. This week was no exception. I'm surprised they sent Kelli home because I think Daniel has been pretty much useless. I almost died laughing when Kenley burst out laughing after Daniel said that he had impeccable taste. I think both Keith and Jerrell had great dresses. It was basically a toss up for the winner, but Keith is becoming one of my favorites so I was glad he won. I think I most excited about next week because Chris is coming back, and they're having a DRAG QUEEN COSTUME CONTEST. How great is that? This is going to be fun!
Big Brother 10 - OMG these people are making me crazy. Not really upset about Libra going home. She's one I could take or leave. I figured it would be better for the ones I like in the house if she is gone though.
Dan and Memphis: They are my 2 favorites, and I am so glad they finally realized they should be an alliance. Keeping my fingers crossed that this works out for them.
Keesha and Renny: They are my middle 2 house guests. I'm really glad Renny won HOH. Hopefully, the alliance Dan and Memphis talked about with the 2 girls came to fruition. If so this week should be fun. Is it just me or does Keesha look exactly like Danielle from season 8?
Ollie and April: I do not like them at all. April is so annoying. I can't believe she played the "Keesha doesn't like me because I'm prettier than her" card (not to be mean but I totally don't agree. Keesha is cuter). Ollie is such a pansy. He follows April around and has done absolutely nothing on his own. I want April out this week because then Ollie would be useless. I hate 'shomances'.
Michelle: Ick. Ever since she said that Libra should get her kids taken aways because Libra chose a Hawaiian vacation over a letter from home, I have hated her. It was just too low of a blow to ever come back from. Not to mention when she said that Dan would burn in hell for voting out Jessie. DO. NOT. LIKE. HER.
Jerry: Ugh. I used to kind of like Jerry, but I really can't wait for him to leave. He makes no sense. He is another one that just hits way below the belt. Too call Dan "Judas" and question his religion is despicable. Plus, why is no one mentioning that Jerry did the EXACT SAME THING week one. He gave Brian his word that they would be an alliance, then put him up for eviction when the other house guests asked him to. He even made a huge show of not wearing any Marine paraphernalia because he didn't want to disgrace the military. I just want to scream for someone to remember this. I can't be the only one. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I WANT HIM GONE TOO!
There you have it, Internets. My super important opinions about reality tv. What does everyone else think? Agree? Disagree?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
LILIES!!! Lots and lots of pretty lilies. I love getting flowers for no reason. (I told y'all he was great)
My plan worked. I'm feeling a little less blah than when I started this post!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
...standing in front of your closet in the morning realizing that you hate every article of clothing you own, and at this point it might be best to throw everything out and start over.
...wearing a sweater in August because of the ridiculously freezing temperature your office is kept at.
...hearing your daughter say this: " mom, when we go shopping for my new school clothes, you have to let me pick out everything because they are my clothes and not yours" and realizing that my dictatorship over her personal style is quickly ending and pretty soon her friend's opinions will be more important than mine.
...when someone uses the last of the french vanilla creamer (which is the only thing that makes the office coffee bearable) and you can't find anymore.
...when you think you might have overdone it on the pretty new perfume, and you spend an entire bus ride hoping the people around you aren't gagging.
...when you realize that the guy sitting next to you on the bus is the same guy that has been taking a seat next to you the last 3 times you've been on the bus...coincidence or crazy guy?
...then he asks you how you liked the Barbara Walters memoir that you finished weeks ago.
...then as soon at you put your current book away, he continues to make awkward small talk. I hate to be rude, but I am not good at small talk at 7:30 am.
I think it is obvious that I have a case of The Mondays.
In an effort to not bring everyone down with me, I'm going to leave y'all with something that is FUN
...watching Michael Phelps and the rest of his team win the gold medal in the 400m Freestyle Relay. Especially, since the French were favored, and one of them was talking trash about smashing the Americans!!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I had a dream that I was having a birthday party. At this party everyone kept wishing me a happy 35th birthday. I was telling people over and over that I was only 27, but no one would believe me. After the well wishing for a happy 35th year, all of my friends started telling me how old I looked and that I've really let myself go. W. T. F.
I have nothing against 35. It's a fine age. Heidi Klum is 35(and I've already professed my adoration of her). Kate Beckinsale is 35. Molli Sims is 35. Tyra Banks will be 35 in a few months. Portia de Rossi is 35. Even Monica Lewinsky is 35. These are all beautiful, smart, successful women. I should be pleased to lump myself in with them. But I'm not.
I think the part I'm having issues with is the "you look so old" and "you've really let yourself go" part of my dream. Were those comments really necessary? Do I subconsciously think that about myself? Needless to say I woke up critiquing and questioning every part of my appearance. These critiques and questions include but are not limited to:
- Wow, my roots are really showing. My highlights need a touch-up
- OMG, my eyebrows are in serious need of some maintenance
- Should I be using an anti-aging/wrinkle cream? Is just moisturizing okay when you're almost 27?
- I should drink more water
- I should drink less coffee
- I really need to start using the gym membership I pay for each month
After picking up the pieces of my shattered self-esteem, I preceded to get ready. I stood there with my flat iron meticulously straightening every strand of my hair, foregoing my standard wavy ponytail. I put on my most youthful looking business casual outfit. Common sense did kick in for a second, and I took off my super cute, super high, and super uncomfortable black heels and opted for more sensible work footwear (I guess I am getting old).
Since I took all this extra time to get ready, when I finally got to the Park and Ride my favorite parking spot was taken. Plus, I missed my favorite bus with my favorite driver. I got to work 20 minutes later than I normally do, but I don't look a day over 25 gosh darn it, and it was worth every minute!!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
First, is Project Runway. I think this might be the only reality show in which I love the judges more than the actual contestants. In my head there is an ongoing love affair with Tim Gunn. If I could, I would follow him around all day asking his opinions about people's clothes. I love hearing him talk. I love his advice. I just love him. If you think my fascination with Tim Gunn is obsessive, then you don't want to know how much I love Heidi Klum. She's totally adorable to me. Then there's Michael Kors (genius) and Nina Garcia (everything she says is always my opinion...it's freaky). I love watching them critique the clothes. OK. OK. I think I should stop my love fest before I freak y'all out even more. The show just started 3 weeks ago, so it's hard to pick and absolute favorite. Kelli, Kenley, and Terri seem cool. I can tell you who I hate, though. 3 weeks is definitely enough for that. First, there is Suede. That's right, he calls himself Suede. Besides his name, 37 years old is too old for a blue mohawk and way way too old to talk about yourself in the 3rd person. Ugh, I can't wait for him to be gone. Then, there is Blayne. His skin is totally orange from the tanning beds he is addicted to, and he keeps adding -licious to every word. "That's girl-licious...Hi Tim-licious...Heidi is Darth-licious" -licious is not a viable suffix!! I keep screaming at the TV "QUIT TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN!!!" It's obvious he's trying to do the whole Christian thing with "fierce" and "hot mess", but Blayne just can't pull it off like Christian. I want him to leave the MOST!
That brings me to Big Brother 10. I love BB, but haven't been as excited about the casts since season 6 and the season 7 all-star house. I only really love Dan. There's a few that don't make me crazy. There are several I want to stab in the eye. Angie (no real opinion about her) and Jessie (can't stand him) were up for eviction. The whole house was gunning for Angie, which makes no sense because so far she's been pretty useless. One of the house guests, April, even said that they should get rid of Jessie, and that America probably thinks they're the dumbest house ever for keeping him around. Well, April, you could not be more right. I do think that BB10 is one of the dumbest casts ever. Their decisions are not strategic, just personal. As much as they all drive me crazy, though, I can't stop watching. 3 times a week I sit down to torture myself with the ridiculousness that is BB10. Thursday night's episode was fun for one main reason. Since the show is being recorded in present time, the house guests were affected by the 5.4 earthquake that hit LA this past week. It was hilarious watching them all freak out when the ground started moving.
Last, but not least is my favorite of the summer reality shows. So You Think You Can Dance. This show never disappoints. I'm sad it's almost over. I think I live vicariously through the dancers because I am your typical 2 left feet, no rhythm white girl. I think Mia Michaels is just about the most amazing choreographer ever. Tabitha and Napoleon have the most fun hip hop routines. This week was tough because it was the top 6 and 2 (1 boy and 1 girl) had to go home. They're all so great, and I loved them all. I super heart Courtney and Twitch, though. I'm so glad that they made it to the top 4. Twitch is hilarious, and Courtney is just too adorable for words. Joshua and Katee also made it to the top 4, and I honestly think that they all are truly the top 4. Since the beginning, these 4 have been the greatest, and I'm glad that no one undeserving slipped in.
There you have it. My opinions about my top 3 summer reality TV shows. What does everyone else think? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?