Why are guys totally and completely clueless?
And when I say guys, I mean one guy in particular. One I happen to be in a relationship with.
If a girl expresses a feeling of minor irritation about something on Friday, wouldn’t it be prudent for the guy to address that tiny annoyance say ANY TIME throughout the weekend? Somewhere in the guy’s head should realize that by leaving the small frustration unattended until Sunday night will turn it into a huge ISSUE. Seeing as how the guy and girl are dealing with a long distance relationship here, they can’t just hug it out. And when said girl finally calms down enough to have a conversation with said guy, why must he then avoid the issue like the plague knowing that the girl needs to talk it out? Text messages about being sorry really aren’t going to cut it. And since the previously mentioned huge issue was left to fester until Sunday night, the guy was too tired to talk about it because the poor thing had to work Monday morning. Well, maybe he should have thought about that before he left it out there to rot?
It’s not all the guy’s fault. Why can’t the girl just drop it? Why has she gotten so unbelievably pissed off that she doesn’t even remember the minor annoyance? She can only focus on how angry she is. So So So Angry. Why must the girl dwell on this to the point that getting anything else done is impossible? Why must the girl respond to emails and texts from the guy with one word couldn’t be less interested answers? Why is the girl so effing frustrated that she’s seriously close to canceling this weekend’s planned visit because she doesn’t even want to look at the guy who doesn’t seem to care that she is totally and completely pissed. She’s doing and feeling all of these things knowing that it is not solving the huge issue, but for some reason she can’t stop. She must beat the issue like a dead horse. (She is also realizing that the dead horse saying is just awful.)
All the girl needed was acknowledgment of the long lost minor issue. A little bit of reassurance would have been nice. It’s really not too much to ask for is it?
It is becoming increasingly obvious that the guy is not going to help the situation. He does not seem to qualify the issue as important to his day to day life. How would y’all suggest that the girl move past this without pulling her own hair out?
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5 comments:
Oh boy. We sometimes have similar issues in our household. What I've learned is:
1)Sometimes us women need to just tell our men that we are upset and why we are upst.
2)Sometimes we want them to figure out why we are mad and they don't know we're mad. This makes us madder.
3) We can't drop things.
I'm guilty of this most of the time. Okay, all of the time. It's on my self improvement to do list.
The fact that you can't remember what the annoyance is tells you that it wasn't that big of deal...Try and let it go and enjoy the scheduled visit. You'll be more mad if you miss it. In the meantime, I'm going to try and take my own advice :)
I find it hard too. I have been married to my hubby for 10 years and and only now am I getting into the habit of actually telling him how I really feel. Even then we have big fights. Don't cancel your weekend. You will regret that.
The answer to all of your questions is simple - because guys are guys and don't always understand what we need. Sometimes, you have to say what exactly is on your mind and explain what you want done to fix it...otherwise, you'll just do the same circling around the issue until you finally bring it up and he's like, "What??? You're still thinking about that? I thought we had dropped/resolved that days ago."
Seriously - they need a map to our emotions...it's just the way it is. Don't cancel your weekend though - being in each other's presence will help things immensely.
We've been together for almost twelve years (holy shit, am I getting OLD!), and honestly, it doesn't really get less annoying. I just expect to be annoyed sometimes, which in itself is annoying, come to think of it.
I would say, not knowing what the problem is, that as long as he seems actually sorry, whether or not he's saying it in the exact way you want him to, you should try to be happy that he's evolved that far. Don't cancel your visit. In ten years, will this be something that you will still care about? If you break up over it, would it really be worth it? If you stop making it such a Thing, he may be more inclined to talk about it in the end, anyway. Not that it's not a Thing, because I'm sure it *is*, but if it's the way he's apologized rather than the thing itself that's getting you more than anything at the moment, try and let go.
Aww honey, I'm sorry you are so upset. I'm there.. literally RIGHT NOW. The kind of angry that makes ya just wann throw in the towel.
You'll be okay, just TELL him. If there is one things I've learned in this life its that BOYS DO NOT TAKE HINTS! lol
hugs-
j
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