I Hope You Have Some Time and a Full Beverage because It's a Long One

I feel like I have been seriously neglecting my poor little blog. It feels like I have so much to write about, but then I sit down to do it and nothing comes to mind! There kind of is a reason, but that's a different post for a different day.

(I'm so mysterious and intriguing, aren't I?)

So I guess y'all get a rambling, no clear point to it, catch up post.

Rambling #1
A couple weeks ago, Rob and I took Kaeli to Sea World for a little End of 1st Grade and Congrats on Being a Totally Awesome Kid Celebration. I hadn't actually been before, so I might have been just as excited as Kaeli. I planned on having 87 million pictures to show everyone, but I'm a genius and forgot to charge my camera. We ended up buying Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras at the gift shop. (Which I had totally forgotten how to use. Winding up and holding the flash and not being able to tell if I have a weird look on my face after taking a picture is so 1998!) The problem with Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras is that you have to actually take them somewhere and get them developed. Which means that the Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras will probably sit on my counter until the end of summer.

The problem with Sea World is that now I sit in my cubicle thinking that I missed my calling in life. I SO should have become a dolphin trainer. There was this dolphin feeding area where we bought trays of fish and got to STAND RIGHT NEXT TO DOLPHINS AND FEED THEM. It was my favorite part of the day. They're so friendly and cute. I felt like an excited little kid. I forgot how much I loved dolphins when I was younger until I was literally inches from one. I might have gone through 6 trays of fish and had to be reminded (more than once) to share by my 6 year old daughter.

The Sea World trip wasn't all sunshine and happy dolphins. I also realized, more than ever, that guys are seriously ridiculous. No really. They can't help it. And by guys I mean Rob and the Minivan Driver at the Sea World Entrance. Stay with me here because it's going to get super run-on sentence like. The park opened at 10am, so you can imagine that at 10:22am the entrance was beyond crowded. First, there was an area to pay for parking, and then the 3 lanes merged to 2 lanes. Rob and I were in the far lane and needed to merge. Everyone was following proper crowded park merging etiquette. You know, the whole each car lets one car in thing. It was our turn to merge. Rob was driving, and I notice that the Minivan driver was not going to let us in, and it would be better to wait for the next car. I tell this to Rob, but Macho Man Syndrome sets in and he becomes DETERMINED to merge at this EXACT moment. Rob and Minivan Driver do the whole keep scooting up until someone gives in thing, and my voice is increasing in volume because we're in my new car and seriously what is the point of acting like an idiot. Then, the Minivan driver starts honking and calling Rob a motherf*cker, which I thought was really classy seeing as how all of us have kids in the car and his minivan had a Christian Fish Symbol on it. Finally, Rob backs down and lets the Minivan driver win, but I was totally pissed. It was completely ridiculous behaviour, right? Does it really matter if we are behind or in front of the minivan. There are HUNDREDS of cars in line. We are all going to the same place. It's going to take some time and patience!!! Plus was the little display of macho-ness really worth pissing me off and ruining what was a very nice and peaceful morning? Guys + Cars + Long Lines = Unbelievably Childish Behaviour.

Ok. Rant over. Thanks to those of y'all who made it through that story!

Rambling #2
One of my very favorite people in the whole wide world is moving very far away, and I'm super sad about it. My BFF's (I call her P-squared) hubby is in the Air Force and got orders to go to Germany for the next 4 years. I'm super excited for her because traveling Europe = Awesome, but I am so bummed that I won't be able to see her whenever I want. We've lived with in weekend visiting distance forever. Of course there will be visiting, but how realistic is it to think that we will see each other even once a year? And how the hell does international text messaging work? Is there even a plan for that because OMG what am I going to do if I can't text her 50 times a day? P^2 has a son, M, that is a few weeks younger than Kaeli. Kaeli and M have been super close since they were in the womb! It's so weird that for the next four years I won't be able to see him growing up. Not to mention that her and the hubby have been trying to have another baby, and the thought that they could come back to the states with a little P^2 who I don't know is heartbreaking.

Rambling #3
This conversation took place between the sons of P^2 and another friend. Both boys are 6.

J: Hey, M do you know Kaeli?
M: Yeah. She's kind of my cousin*.
J: She's really pretty.

* M calls Rob uncle, even though Rob isn't his actual uncle. M is convinced that if Rob and I ever get married, he and Kaeli will be cousins.

How effing cute is all of that? This age is fun.

Rambling #4
If you follow me on Twitter (kristi_kp...but why would you because I'm awfully boring) then you know I revealed a shameful secret. I have this strange desire to read Lauren Conrad's book LA Candy. I can't even explain why. You can stop wanting to be my friends now. I understand.

I could keep rambling. It's one of my specialties, but I think y'all have been through enough torture. I totally get it if you just skimmed.

On a side note, I feel so much better getting all of this out there. I really shouldn't take accidental blogging breaks anymore!!

Thank You, Jimmy Fallon For Making A Girl's Dream Come True

Jimmy Fallon is on a noble crusade to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell.

Y'all can't even begin to imagine how much I want to see this happen.

Check out my first love, Zack Morris, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon!

(it's kind of long, but worth every second)

Let This Be One of those Things She Forgets When She Gets Older

I think I just took the award for the most ridiculous and pointless thing ever said to a 6 year old.

Kaeli has been having some listening issues lately, and it's grinding on my last nerve. My usually sweet, well-behaved, and compliant daughter literally hears nothing that comes out of my mouth. I have to say something 5 times before she acknowledges me, and even then she barely carries out any of the tasks I ask her to do.

I'm pretty positive that this phase is brought on by the end of the school year. It's the last week of school, and I think both of us are just tired of the routine. We're both irritable and exhausted.

Last night, after battling with her for what felt like an eternity (but was probably only 20 minutes) I took away TV privileges for the rest of the school year. (school ends Thursday, but I thought it sounded more drastic worded the other way!!) She did not take this well and mumbled under her breath all the way to her bedroom. This morning, she was complaining about how mean and unfair I was for taking away the TV (the kid needs her Disney channel), and I said something that I'm still shaking my head about.

Kaeli: But it's not fair that you get to watch TV and I don't.
Me: (are y'all ready for this piece of brilliance that I am about to share?) Well, I listen to me so I get to watch TV. You don't listen to me so you don't get to watch TV.

Seriously? I LISTEN TO ME. It doesn't even make sense. As soon as it came out of my mouth I knew it was stupid. At the same time, I realized it was totally something my own mother would say which freaks me out on so many levels. When did I turn into my mother? I didn't see that happen at all.

If I expect to be able to battle with her when she is a teenager, I am going to have to have better comebacks. Dear God that one was shameful!

Because I Haven't Mentioned Edward Cullen in Forever

Y'all know I had no choice but to jump on the leaked New Moon movie poster bandwagon, right. I just have no control over my Edward Cullen impulses.

I just have to say that I LOVE THIS MOVIE POSTER. The only way it would be better is if *I* had any acting talent whatsoever, was cast as Bella Swan, and got to make-out with Edward Cullen all day long.

Would y'all think I was super ridiculous if I already had the movie release date set in my iPhone? That's totally normal, right? RIGHT?

Monday Scorecard

• My bed was so comfortable this morning that I hit the snooze 3 times. Monday -1
• I had 2 cups of coffee before 7am, seriously increasing my perkiness level. Monday +1
• I am having a super cute hair day. Monday +1
• Kaeli was unbelievable sweet and cooperative this morning. Monday +1
• The card reader on the bus wasn't working. Free ride to work. Monday +1
• The guy sitting next to me smelled like stale leftovers. Monday -1
• Traffic seriously sucked. Took forever to get to work. Monday -1
• Dancing with the Stars finale and The Bachelorette with Jillian starts tonight. Monday +1

Looks like I'm up 5 to 3. Suck it, Monday!

Kaeli Sound Bites

The Set-up:
When Kaeli was at the park with her grandma today, she fell while running around the track. The track is made of gravel, and her hands and knees were covered in scrapes. No lie, she looked like she had been dragged through rocks.

Me: Oh My Goodness, Kaeli! You look awful.
Kaeli: Just what every girl loves to hear. Thanks.

I have no idea where she picked up that kind of sarcasm.

More Car Talk

Last Friday, I had an appointment with my insurance adjuster to get an estimate for the damage to my flooded car. After all of my Google searching and unsolicited advice from coworkers, I was a little nervous about the outcome of this meeting.

(Turns out that there are so many flood claims in good old H-town right now that, they had to fly the guy I met with in from Maryland just to handle the demand!)

The guy was really nice. He determined that since my car was still running and drivable that the damage wasn't too bad. He worked up an estimate, and I left my precious car in the very capable hands of the men at the "flood specialist" repair shop with the assurance that it would be done in a few days.

As I was driving home in my rental car, I had mixed feelings about the outcome. On one hand I was happy that I would get my car back, but on the other, I was worried about the future value and safety of my car.

Turns out that all the worrying was pointless because, the next day (Saturday), my insurance guy called to tell me that after further inspection, they realized water got into a lot of my electrical stuff. He decided to total my car.

My cute little car is gone. I had already taken everything out, so I'll never see it again.

Upon hearing this news, Rob immediately went into "guy problem solving mode". He immediately got on the Internet, and two hours after hearing about my car I found myself being dragged around a car dealership.

I really was only going to look, but then I saw the exact car I wanted. The car that had been in the back of my mind ever since someone mentioned that my flooded car was most likely totalled. The car that I didn't let myself think too much about because (1) I didn't want to get my hopes up and (2) I felt like I was betraying my flooded car.

Kaeli was really excited to go car shopping. She suggested that I buy a limo and just hire a butler to drive us around. I really love the way that girl thinks!

So, barely a week after the super stressful flooding, I'm driving around in my new car! It's wonderful and pretty and I got a good deal and I LOVE IT. It's so much bigger than my old car (it was a Mazda 3). It is a little sad to think that my days of a small cute car are over for a while. We were growing out of the old car anyway, so, while the timing wasn't exactly what I had planned, everything worked out for the best.

I guess all of my hopes and prayers from the last post were answered because the whole process could not have been easier.

After driving my old Mazda for 4 years, I couldn't imagine not having another one so:

Check out my Mazda CX-7. YAY!!

Isn't Kaeli so cute in her gymnastics leotard?