Good Morning, Sunshine

I am not a morning person. I have never been a morning person. I doubt I will ever be a morning person.

I was not one of those kids that got up at the ass crack of dawn to open Christmas presents. My parents will tell you that they had to literally come and get me when it was time to open presents because I was still asleep.

In college, a class before 10:30am was a class that was skipped. Twice I tried to take a 9am class, and twice it did not work out well.

I'm truly confused by old people that get up at 6am. When I'm old and retired, there is no way in hell I'm getting out of bed before 9am.

I do not enjoy getting out of bed in the morning. Everyday I have a battle with my alarm clocks.

There is alarm clock #1. #1 goes off at 5am. He's there to gently remind me that I need to start getting up soon. I take great pleasure in throwing #1 against the wall.

Alarm clock #2 goes off at 5:30am. This is the alarm set for the time I need to get up for a smooth morning. I hit the snooze a minimum of 2 times. In an effort to trick myself, alarms #1 and #2 are set 15 minutes ahead. It rarely works because I just remember that is 15 minutes earlier than my clock says and hit the snooze. Again.

There is also cell phone alarm #1. Cell #1 also goes off at 5:30am. It is actually set in real time so it goes off after alarms #1 and #2. Cell #1 is meant to confuse me because on any given morning there is no telling where my cell may be. It could be on the stand next to me, on the floor, under the bed, hidden in my comforter. Cell #1 is probably most effective because of the search and rescue it takes to turn off the most annoying sound ever.

Last, there is cell phone alarm #2. Cell #2 goes off at 6am. It's basically there to mock me because if I'm not out of bed before this alarm goes off the morning will descend into complete chaos.

Somewhere in the middle of hair/make-up and getting dressed, Kaeli needs to be woken up. The promise of food can arouse her from sleep pretty quickly. She then stumbles into the dining room, eats breakfast, and gets dressed. Besides the making of her breakfast, she needs very little supervision at this point. I don't think I can fully express how happy this makes me. I emerge from my room to find a fed and dressed kid watching cartoons.

Sounds like the worse is over, but this is actually crunch time. The plan is to be out the door at 6:30, but it can easily turn to 6:35am if the other non-morning person (Kaeli) feels that I have slighted her in anyway. The morning meltdown will normally occur over uneven pigtails, or if she feels at all rushed while putting on her shoes. 6:35am will turn into 6:41am, when, halfway to my friend's house (she lives practically next door and is a godsend because she takes Kaeli to school with her son for me), I realize that Kaeli's lunch box is still on the counter.

When I finally get to work, it takes at least 2 cups of coffee before I feel even close to normal.

I am not a morning person.

My Inner 9 Year Old Has Resurfaced

The first half of this post is from what I wrote down on my Myspace blog April 4, 2008

i realize that what i am about to confess will bring ridicule and harassment, but i just don’t care...

new kids on the block just officially announced that they ARE BACK TOGETHER!...thanks to my perezhilton.com addiction i’ve been speculating this for months but i didn’t want to get my hopes up until today when the loves of my preadolescent life were on the today show and said they’re working on a new album and are planning to tour in the fall!

i think i must establish how much i LOVED new kids when i was younger...i had the bedspread...and posters...and buttons...and t-shirts...and sunglasses...and even a jordan knight doll...i used to watch their cartoon on saturday mornings...only the true fans even remember that there was a new kids cartoon on saturday mornings

my mom took me to a nkotb concert when i was 9...it was my first concert ever and it was just about the greatest thing (a very close 2nd to the birth of my daughter)...i feel that i just need to see them again...with much better seats now that i am an adult.

i have now made it my life’s mission to see this concert...(i would invite you leanne but you told me once that you never liked the new kids and frankly i’ve questioned our friendship ever since).

i’m just so excited...they are performing on the Today Show on May 16th (that’s my dad’s bday...i bet he thinks this is a spectacular present)...my dvr will be set...on second thought i might even just skip work all together that day...it’s practically a holiday in the life of kristi p...

I STILL LOVE YOU JORDAN KNIGHT...you were my first celebrity crush and no others have come close to the passion i felt for you...that justin timberlake thing was just a moment of weakness...i even bought that solo album you did when i was a teenager...your single is on my ipod...it’s part of my "get sexy" music when i work out (thank you april for the new name for my workout playlist)...I LOVE JORDAN KNIGHT!!!!!
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My dreams and life mission have come true, Internets. I got the text from my friend, Kylie. It says "Oh yeah Oh yeah! Got our tickets! 6th row baby!"

HOLY FREAKIN CRAP. I'm going to see NKOTB. Jealous? I know you are.

Calling it a Lovebug doesn't make it cute

September has always been my favorite month. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I used to wish I had been born 3 days later so that I would have a September birthday and be able to claim sapphire as my birthstone. I love that it is no longer 852 degrees, and I can run errands without feeling like my skin is going to melt off. I love that all the stores start putting out fall decorations and Halloween costumes. Plans for the holidays start forming. September and I have always had a friendly relationship.

Until I moved to this town. I'm from a much smaller Texas area, and I moved here a year ago seeking a big city career. Blah. If someone would have told me what awful vile creatures I would find here, I swear I would have never moved.

It's the damn Lovebug.



These things are disgusting. They are everywhere. EVERYWHERE! They swarm front doors. They fly into your face and land in your ears. I hate them. Hate them. Apparently, September is their happy time, and they come out of hiding to fornicate. They spend most of their time mating, so they're always flying around stuck together.



I just read that after they're done doing the deed the male dies and the female carries him around until she lays her eggs. Ick.

Plus, because they have the name Lovebug, Kaeli has decided that they are cute, and she let's them land on her and she tries to play with them. My skin crawls just thinking about it. She even talks to them. "Hi, Lovebugs. Mommy hates you, so you should move away from the door before she kills you". Oh yes. My daughter said that. And she's totally right.

I'd like to point out that I am no stranger to insect infestations. In my hometown we have cricket season. Yes, cricket season. Crickets take over the town. Some years are worse than others. In highschool, I remember crickets falling from the ceiling. Teachers would step on them without missing a beat during the lecture. Driving into gas stations was a treat because I got to hear the crunch of hundreds of dead crickets as my car drove over them. Going through a drive-thru meant risking crickets flying into your car as you got your food.

Sounds pretty gross, right.

I'd take the crickets over the damn Lovebugs any day.

It's My Party and I'll Blog If I Want To

I'm a super slacker blogger. I've been meaning to get this one up all week, but the sudden attack of whatever Kaeli was sick with last week has rendered me useless.

Last Friday was my birthday. I love having a late August birthday. I super love when it falls on the long Labor Day weekend. I also really love being a Virgo. It was the big 2-7. My dad pointed out that I'm quickly running out of numbers to put after the 2 and will have to change to 3 really soon. Wasn't that nice of him?

I didn't have huge plans for my birthday until Rob decided to take matters into his own hands and put together a little celebration. He called our friends, and a few of them decided that celebrating the birth of me would be the greatest way to spend a Saturday night. As it happens when you get older, we all live in different parts of Texas, so they all chose his place to meet because it's the closest, and its current bachelor pad feel made it perfect for party central.

About a week before the aforementioned party, Rob mentioned that there was a surprise. A big one. Well, I'm not so good with surprises. Sure, I love random gifts and surprises that are actual surprises (aka - I don't know they are coming), but knowing a surprise is coming, especially one qualified as BIG, freaks me out. Blame it on my control freak nature or the fact that I hate being left out of the loop and everyone else knowing what is going to happen. Plus, I have a bit of an overactive imagination, so I come up with the greatest surprise ever, and what if the actual surprise doesn't deliver. It's like hoping for a pair of Jimmy Choos and being given Crocs. I called all of my friends trying to get them to crack and tell me what was going on. Can you believe that no one told me. No one. Naturally, I spent the week stressing about it. Telling myself not to get my hopes up because he worked hard on a surprise, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by having a lackluster reaction.

Wanna know what the surprise was? Do you?

I got to his place and guess who opened the door...guess...
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MY SISTER!!!!!


That's right y'all. Rob flew my sister all the way from Maryland to Texas for my birthday. My little sister that moved far far away when she was 18, and I never get to see her because we are grown and busy. The same little sister that I beg to move back to Texas at least once a week.

Moral of the story - Trust Rob. His surprises rock. And I feel I can safely say that he is seriously the best boyfriend ever. He's great and wonderful and I heart him and blah blah blah (insert all other corny mushy girly stuff here)

The rest of the weekend was a super awesome blast.

Friday was the usual tame birthday funness. We had dinner at my favorite sushi place and went to the movies. We went to one of those fantastic movie places that serves alcohol. I swear these places have ruined me against going to ordinary theaters. I love being able to drink beer at the movies and having someone bring it to me. We saw Tropic Thunder, and we all loved it. So so funny. I pretty much love Ben Stiller (Zoolander is one of my most favorite movies ever. Totally underrated). Tom Cruise played the part of a greedy studio exec, and I have to say he was awesome. I've always loved Tom Cruise (my dog is named after his character in Top Gun because I loved him so much), but lately he's been all crazy. This movie totally redeemed him to me. He was so over the top and hilarious. I had no idea he could be that funny!

Saturday was the big celebration. The friends showed up that afternoon. It was your basic let's pretend I'm a rock star and forget that I'm a mature adult evening. We all headed downtown and had dinner at a Cajun type restaurant. I had this drink called a Worm Burner and about halfway through the second one decided I should totally name any future children after that drink. We hit up a bar for a while, then ended at a Pete's Dueling Piano Bar. If you've never been to one, I think you should drop everything you're doing and go. I've been a couple times, and it's always super fun. We grabbed a cab back to the house and spent the rest of the evening playing Wii Fit. I rock at the hula hoop challenge. We stayed up way too late, and the next morning I hated myself.

The server cut out Amber's boyfriend!!

I did get a call from Rob Wednesday night asking me why there was a Corona street sign hidden under his kitchen sink. Let me start from the beginning, Rob and his roommate have this Corona street sign in their house. I hate this sign. Always have. Not quite sure why, but I hate it. It's pretty well known that I think the sign is stupid. He found it under the sink and asked if I hid it there Saturday night. I have no recollection of hiding this stupid sign. He searched for a witness and found one. My friend, Amber, totally ratted me out. Apparently, we were watching the guys play pool, I said that I hated that sign and Rob isn't in college anymore so it's stupid, then I picked it up and put it under the sink. News to me, but I stand by what I did. I hate that sign.

It was a great way to start my 27th year. I sometimes can't believe I'm 27. I still feel 19. I still feel like I should be waiting tables, staying out all night, and taking irresponsible trips to Cancun in the middle of a college semester. Even with the shock of getting older, I have a feeling 27 is going to be a really fun year. I'm totally looking forward to it.

Oh, How I've Missed Y'all

Four days with no blogging of any kind was crazy! I feel so out of the loop. Plus, it seems like I was the only one in the whole world who decided not to blog because, when I finally snapped back into reality, I had a bazillion blogs to read. (I've mentioned my addiction before) After about an hour devoted to nothing but blogs, I now feel almost caught up. I haven't even checked in with Perez Hilton, yet. I have no clue what it going on in the world of celebrity gossip.

I don't think I mentioned that the reason I decided to forgo responsibility for the weekend was because of my birthday celebration. I have fun pictures and a couple stories about 1.) the best surprise EVER and 2.) what was quite possibly the funniest present EVER.

Sadly, y'all will have to wait for the fun post, but I will tell you about the WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN ON MY BIRTHDAY. I was driving to the boyfriend's house when about halfway in, my cell phone just froze up and refused to work. I frantically found the nearest AT&T store, but, of course, they could do nothing to fix it. I am currently on day 5 of no cell phone, and I think I might die. The phone was still under warranty, so a new one is being sent. It should get here today, but, in the mean time, I'm having text messaging withdrawals. My fingers are twitching, and I think I'm getting the shakes. I got my first cell only 6 short years ago. How has it become such a vital part of my life. I'm thinking the break from being constantly in touch and reachable is probably good for me.

Plus, I want to remind everyone that tonight is the series premiere of 90210. I can't get enough teen dramas, and I've been excited about this show for months. I was a hardcore fan of the original. I wanted to be Kelly Taylor when I grew up, and marry Brandon Walsh. Lori Loughlin (Becky from Full House) is even on the new show. AWESOME. Hopefully, it doesn't suck, but I figure it at least deserves a couple episode trial run before I decide whether to add it to my very full and competitive television line up!!

My Week Made Me Tired

I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day(s). I feel like there is so much to share. I also feel like it is all very boring!

Tuesday - Got the dreaded call from Kaeli's school. She's sick. How she managed to get sick the 2nd day of school I will never know. I had to pick her up, and, while picking up my sick kid from school isn't that bad, getting from my downtown office to Kaeli's school in the suburbs sucked. The poor girl slept all day. She was so sad, and her drama queen-ness was in full affect. She even made me hold her glass of water and straw for her so she could drink.

Wednesday - Kaeli's fever Tuesday was high enough to keep her out of school for the day. We went to the doctor. They said she had strep throat. Not fun. I stayed home from work, but selfishly thought about the very big report I had to have finished by Thursday (that I had been slacking on for 2 weeks). Then, I spent the day feeling guilty for thinking about work while I should be glad I could take care of Kaeli. To get over the guilt, I watched Jon and Kate Plus 8, and thanked the Lord that I only have 1 kid.

Thursday - Since Kaeli had been on her antibiotics, and the doctor said she wasn't contagious, she went to school and I went to work. Spent the entire day stressing over a stupid report that I hated and never want to have to do again. Ever. But I will. In between cursing said report, I worried that Kaeli wasn't feeling better (even though she said she did that morning) and the school would call and yell at me for being a slacker mom.

I am SO looking forward to the weekend. I've taken Friday off, and, since Monday is Labor Day, I have that off too. Hurray 4 day weekend! I've secured a weekend stay for Kaeli with her grandparents, and I am off to pretend I'm young and stress free. I did hesitate to go along with the plan because Kaeli got sick, but seeing how when we got home she managed to run around playing and yelling with the dog, I'm thinking she's feeling better. The only indication she is sick is the few more days of antibiotics.

Y'all might not hear from me until late Monday. Dry your eyes. I'll be back. I promise. Plus, I just might have fun stories about what it's like to not have a 6 year old following me everywhere I go!!

Because I'm Bored and Obsessing

Here's a visual comparison of Kaeli in Kindergarten vs Kaeli in 1st grade

Kaeli in Kindergarten




Kaeli in 1st grade



1. Apparently, I have some first day of school polka dot fetish
2. Am I completely insane or does she look totally different...in just 1 year