Back to School

Kaeli started 1st grade today! It went a lot better than last year when she started crying, I started crying, and I lurked in the hallways checking on her for 10 minutes. Here are the obligatory first day of school photos. She was in her silly mood. Be warned now because there are lots of weird poses.

I've become obsessed with taking pictures of her brushing her teeth. I don't know why.

Pose #1

I love this outfit.

Notice the earrings she HAD to wear today. She picked them out herself.

Pose #2 I can't explain it

Helping my friend's son, Clayton, to Kindergarten

She has her own desk and everything. Last year it was just tables. She's too grown up!

As per usual she started getting annoyed with my picture taking. Last year, I was full of wonderful and interesting things to say on the first day. Today, I think I'm mostly in disbelief. How did she get to this point? It went by too fast. I'm not ready for all of this growing up. When I look at her I still see this.

Maria, Maria!

(for full effect you must sing that in the tune to the Rob Thomas/Santana song from back in the day)

Today, August 25, is my friend Maria's 26th birthday. In honor of her, I'm going to share my very favorite memory of me and Maria.

Maria and I met during our days in the restaurant business. She was a hostess, and I was a server. From the moment I met her, I loved her. The managers used to get so mad at the amount of time I spent at the hostess stand giggling with my new friend. Through the course of our new friendship, we realized that our birthdays are in the same week. We hatched the brilliant plan to celebrate her 18th and my 19th birthday together. The plan included getting tattoos together, and I thank the fact we chickened out every day. We totally would have ended up with something stupid that we would regret now. Instead, I waited a few years before I got my tattoo and have something that I love. But that is a different story for a different day.

Back to the birthday celebration. First stop was dinner with a group of our friends. Dressed in our skimpiest outfits, of course. I had on a black tank top and a pair of the shortest tiniest cheetah print shorts ever created. I still can't believe I ever fit into them. I have searched for pictures of proof, but can't find them anywhere! She showed up in a tiny black skirt and a cheetah print halter top. We laughed at the coincidence, and figured we were so cosmically linked we subconsciously dressed alike.

Next stop, was some dude's house. That's right, some dude. I have no idea who it was or how I knew him, but his house was central to getting the party started. There we may or may not (to admit that I drank underage would be a poor example of how responsible I am) have indulged in alcoholic beverages. To be honest, I remember very little about this phase of our celebration.

Since it was Maria's 18th birthday, and, she could legally go clubbing, we decided that our stupid town wasn't good enough for us. We got in the car (with a DD of course) to drive an hour to a club that would do our party justice. Again, I do not remember the girl that was driving. Maria does, but, obviously, I had one thing on my mind, and that was to PAR-TEY. Maria and I sat in the back and made up a song. A song so horrible and embarrassing that I can't share the lyrics with you. It did have to do with the greatness of beer and dancing, though.

That brings us to the best part of my tribute to Maria. About halfway to the GREATEST CLUB EVER (or so we thought), Maria and I had to use the restroom. Bad. Problem was that we were at a super boring part of I-35, and there was nowhere to stop. NO WHERE. Our pee situation was becoming increasingly serious, so we had the driver pull off an access road so we could just go. We stopped, looked into the field, and there was a lone tree in the middle of it. It was the best cover we were going to find, so we dashed off. As we crowded around the tree, doing our business, I noticed lights turning on to my right. I looked over and realized that there was a house right next to us. WE WERE PEEING IN SOME ONE'S YARD. So, I screamed to Maria "holy crap, we're in some one's hard. We gotta run!" I took off while Maria ran behind me trying to get her skirt back over her ass yelling "Wait for me!" We dove into the car, and raced off. Only then did Maria notice that she had peed in an anthill and now had ants all over her feet. Luckily, we made it to the club shortly after (with our buzz still intact) and proceeded to have one great birthday celebration.

Happy Birthday, Maria. Thanks for being my friend for the last 8 years. Aren't you glad we have the good sense not to act like that anymore?

The Bonds of Friendship

I think y'all might have noticed that I love to relive conversations with Kaeli. Everything out of her mouth cracks me up. Today was no exception. We saw a little girl playing outside on our street while we were going to the store.

KAELI: I know that girl! She was one of my bestest friends in kindergarten.
ME: Really? What is her name?
KAELI: I have no idea.

Yup. That's kindergarten best friends for you. Maybe she'll actually learn the girl's name in 1st grade.

School Supplies Everywhere

Kaeli starts school on Monday. Be prepared for lots of going to 1st grade pictures, folks. Tonight was meet the teacher. This is only my second year in the public school system, but, damn, meet the teacher night is a lot of work. I seriously felt sorry for Kaeli's teacher. So many parents. So many kids. SO MANY SCHOOL SUPPLIES!! As soon as we walked in, Kaeli and I got to work unpacking, labeling, and putting away supplies. I had no idea kids needed so much stuff for 1st grade! I would like to torture y'all with the list. Because I can.

2- 12x18 bright white 50 count construction paper
2- 12x18 assorted colors 50 count construction paper
1 - 12x18 manila paper 50 count
5 - assorted plastic pocket and brad folders
4 - letter sized manila file folder 1/3 cut
5- 11x8.5 mulimethod tablet (what?)
2- comp book 8x10 red bl 36 count (what again?)
2- 120 count kleenex tissue
1 - large size plastic school box
1 - box reclosable quart bags 25 count
1 - 8oz. germ-x waterless hand sanitizer with pump
1- 3x3 4 pack yellow post-it notes
2 - 3x5 100 count ruled index cards
1 - 8 color crayola washable watercolors
1 - 24 count crayola crayons
2 - 4oz elmer's school glue
1 - 8 count washable crayola think classic markers
1 - sharp 5 inch fiskar scissors
6- small elmer's glue stick
1 - fluorescent yellow highlighter
6 - red check pencils uncapped
1 - pink bevel eraser
24 - no. 2 wood pencils
2 - box 2.5 gallon hefty one-zip 12 count

Did y'all quit reading halfway through. I did. Some of the stuff is labeled and put in her desk. The rest is put in boxes as community supplies. The list is daunting and stressful. Fortunately, at the end of kindergarten, the school sent home the order list. All I had to do was fill out a form with Kaeli's name, grade, and send a check. Then, tonight, viola, the supplies were all packaged up and sitting in her new classroom. How awesome is that? I'm still amazed by the process. I feel sorry for those unfortunate parents who didn't order the supplies in May!! I figure, with this system, I won't have to actually shop for school supplies for the rest of her elementary school years!!

I did find out tonight that the teacher would like the parents to write a letter about their kid. OMG. It's not so much the writing about Kaeli that has me freaking out. I could write about the greatness that is my kid forever. It's the actual writing of the letter. So many questions. So much anxiety. Should it be typed or handwritten? Should I make it pink and scented? Will that give it a little something extra? What if I make a grammar or spelling mistake? What if I sound like a complete idiot? Will she then assume my kid is a product of poor parenting? TOO MUCH PRESSURE. Ugh. I did not sign on for homework.

Who says that to someone?

A couple months ago, I stopped into a convenience store to pick up some beer for my friend's husband. He sometimes keeps an eye on Kaeli for me, and I like to show up with beer when I pick her up as a nice big thank you. Last night, I stopped in the same store again to pick up some stuff, and the memory of my first trip came flooding back.

(wavy lines as i go into memory mode)

As I placed the adult beverages on the counter to pay, the cashier asked for my ID. I have no problem being carded. I keep my driver's license in an accessible place because it happens quite often. So, I pull out my license and hand it over.

CASHIER: Whoa! You're fat in this picture. You've lost some pounds.
ME: Ummm. Not really.
CASHIER: Yes you have. You look really fat.
ME: Wow, you're quite a smooth talker. I bet you do well with the ladies.
GUY IN LINE BEHIND ME: (awkward chuckle) Maybe it's his way of saying you look good now?

SERIOUSLY. W! T! F! Who says that to someone? I'm pretty sure it's in some guy handbook that you never ever ever comment on a girl's weight. I have problems with this for so many reasons. 1) It's a driver's license picture. I thought 99% of people look bad in their driver's license photo. 2) It's a really old picture. Like 5 or 6 years. 3) I don't think I look all that different. If I have lost weight, it's no more than 5 lbs. Not enough to illicit such a violent reaction. 4) Frankly, I'm just not that photogenic. For every good picture of me, there are dozens of not great ones. I have friends that never take a bad picture. I am not one of them.
I had never given much thought to my driver's license, but now, every time I pull it out, I'm waiting for the shocking reaction to my picture.

Ugh. Who says that to someone?

Materialism and a 6 Year Old Girl

This past weekend was the big tax free weekend here in Texas, and I braved the malls and ridiculous traffic to go shopping. I was a little nervous about the impending shopping trip because, lately, Kaeli has been a royal pain in the butt when it comes to clothes. If I touch it or think it's cute, she wants nothing to do with it. She only wants to wear clothes featuring the face of Joe Jonas. I literally caught her longingly petting a JoBros t-shirt. Fortunately, she was more open this weekend, and we had a lot of fun.

Things were going along just fine until we were talking while standing in a ridiculously long line at a register.
KAELI: Mom, I need an iPod.
ME: You're 6 years old. What do you need an iPod for?
KAELI: To listen to music, duh.
ME: You're 6 years old. You're not getting an iPod.
KAELI: But I really need one.
ME: YOU'RE 6 YEARS OLD.

Now, I'm not opposed to iPods. I have 2, my regular one and my shuffle (for when I work out...that's my story and I'm sticking to it) I just can't believe, that at 6, I'm already dealing with her requests for this stuff. I thought I still had a few more years of dolls and Junie B Jones books. Seriously, if I were to buy her an iPod at 6, what will she be asking for at 8 or 12? I don't even want to think about 16. I kind of feel like buying her an iPod now will open a door I'm not sure that I'm ready to go down. You can't close Pandora's box, my friends.

Am I overreacting about this? (who me? overreact? never!) Is an iPod no big deal these days? I was stoked when I got my first one, but does that mean I am just still mystified over the iPod because I grew up with cassette tapes? Should I add it to her Christmas shopping list? I need thoughts, opinions, perspective. Help me, wise Internets, you're my only hope!

Reality TV Recap Friday

I've made it through the first week without So You Think You Can Dance. Fortunately, I've had the Olympics to focus all of my attention on. Since I didn't talk about it last week, I really wish Twitch would have won. I tend to get way more emotionally involved in these shows than I should, and it's always bittersweet when my favorite doesn't win. On one hand, I'm happy for Joshua because he is great and seems like a fun guy, but on the other hand I'm so disappointed that America didn't agree with me that Twitch was better. Now I'm left waiting for next summer to meet a whole new cast to get attached to.

Project Runway - I've been reading this blog for the past couple of weeks, and I love it. He does a play by play of the episode, but he absolutely hates Project Runway. He's not super mean about hating it, and he is always super hilarious while making fun of the outrageousness of the contestants. Check it out if you want a good laugh. Overall, this episode was a little blah for me. Blayne only used -licious as a suffix once, so I didn't have to shove a sharp object in my eye. Suede still talked in the third person, though, and I'm just not sure if I can take it much longer. I generally hate when the contestants work in teams. This week was no exception. I'm surprised they sent Kelli home because I think Daniel has been pretty much useless. I almost died laughing when Kenley burst out laughing after Daniel said that he had impeccable taste. I think both Keith and Jerrell had great dresses. It was basically a toss up for the winner, but Keith is becoming one of my favorites so I was glad he won. I think I most excited about next week because Chris is coming back, and they're having a DRAG QUEEN COSTUME CONTEST. How great is that? This is going to be fun!

Big Brother 10 - OMG these people are making me crazy. Not really upset about Libra going home. She's one I could take or leave. I figured it would be better for the ones I like in the house if she is gone though.

Dan and Memphis: They are my 2 favorites, and I am so glad they finally realized they should be an alliance. Keeping my fingers crossed that this works out for them.

Keesha and Renny: They are my middle 2 house guests. I'm really glad Renny won HOH. Hopefully, the alliance Dan and Memphis talked about with the 2 girls came to fruition. If so this week should be fun. Is it just me or does Keesha look exactly like Danielle from season 8?

Ollie and April: I do not like them at all. April is so annoying. I can't believe she played the "Keesha doesn't like me because I'm prettier than her" card (not to be mean but I totally don't agree. Keesha is cuter). Ollie is such a pansy. He follows April around and has done absolutely nothing on his own. I want April out this week because then Ollie would be useless. I hate 'shomances'.

Michelle: Ick. Ever since she said that Libra should get her kids taken aways because Libra chose a Hawaiian vacation over a letter from home, I have hated her. It was just too low of a blow to ever come back from. Not to mention when she said that Dan would burn in hell for voting out Jessie. DO. NOT. LIKE. HER.

Jerry: Ugh. I used to kind of like Jerry, but I really can't wait for him to leave. He makes no sense. He is another one that just hits way below the belt. Too call Dan "Judas" and question his religion is despicable. Plus, why is no one mentioning that Jerry did the EXACT SAME THING week one. He gave Brian his word that they would be an alliance, then put him up for eviction when the other house guests asked him to. He even made a huge show of not wearing any Marine paraphernalia because he didn't want to disgrace the military. I just want to scream for someone to remember this. I can't be the only one. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I WANT HIM GONE TOO!

There you have it, Internets. My super important opinions about reality tv. What does everyone else think? Agree? Disagree?