Autobiography of a Material Girl

Middle of the Night/Monday Morning Bullets - Catch Up Edition

2009-10-19T02:45:00.000-05:00

OMG. I can't believe that it's been 2 months since my last post. I haven't even been that busy.

I've really missed everyone, though. I finally logged onto my Google Reader, and I'm desperately trying to catch up on everything.

In the last 2 months, I have managed to master like every Facebook game possible. Y'all would seriously be impressed with my Farmville skills. Or maybe not because staring at a fake farm waiting to harvest crops all day is kind of lame.

I'm really loving my new town. It's super friendly, and way less crowded than Houston. I've made a new friend. She's all young and cool and just bought condo downtown. I felt so old because all I could think about when I saw it was that I could never fit all of Kaeli's crap into it. But the apartment has this awesome balcony where you can watch drunk people stumbling out of restaurants and trendy clubs.

There has been a lot of adjusting going on since the move and engagement. Living with a boy when it has just been me and Kaeli for so long is really weird. The increase in laundry by adding just one person is seriously unbelievable. It never stops. And do you realize that guys can't eat just one of ANYTHING? In fact, they must eat 3 of your favorite yogurts in 1 sitting, therefore, leaving you with none!! And guys also don't appreciate your love of Gossip Girl, but can be coerced into watching Project Runway and even the new Models of the Runway. I figure that is a win.

Kaeli started 2nd grade and is totally loving her new school. At the parent/teacher conference last week, her teacher said she fit right in and made friends in about 2 seconds. I wasn't really worried about it because Kaeli is a social butterfly, but it was really nice to hear.

We have seemed to reach the stage where a certain 2nd grade boy teases Kaeli relentlessly, Kaeli then cries and says that he is so mean, but she NEVER STOPS TALKING ABOUT HIM. I like to torture her by asking if she "likes" said boy because she gets so annoyed, rolls her eyes, and says that they "are just friends". 2nd grade, people. 2nd freaking grade!!!

I haven't gone back to work just yet. I did start really looking last week or so. It's been so nice to be home! I've loved how much time I've gotten to spend with Kaeli, but now it's getting kind of boring. She is at school all day, and there are only so many One Tree Hill reruns a girl can handle. Again, I stress the mastery of all things Facebook. Plus, the Working Girl inside of me is screaming to be let out. She needs to stare at Excel and play with spreadsheets and make office small talk while getting coffee!!!

I've done a little wedding planning, but not near as much as I need to. We found the venue that we both love, but haven't signed the contract yet. Rob is being all boring and practical and thinks I should actually have a job before we dive into wedding expenses. Whatevs. Money grows on trees, doesn't it??

So. remember my ridiculous Twilight/Edward Cullen obsession? It's turned into a serious sickness. I don't know if y'all realize how many teen vampire novels are out there. I'm addicted to at least 2 more series. I can't stop. It's kind of sad that when I go into a bookstore I head straight for the young adult section.

And for your dose of cuteness...here is Kaeli on the first Cold Enough for a Hat Day of the season last week!!

p.s. the whole messenger style tote bag is the IN thing, apparently. Kaeli HAD to have it since all the kids in her class do too. 2nd grade has definitely become the grade where EVERYTHING MATTERS.

Let's just pretend it hasn't been a month since we last spoke

2009-08-17T13:05:00.004-05:00

We have a lot to discuss my blog friends!

I really don't even know where to start.

I'll just start with the biggest most exciting fun news EVER.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He proposed on the Bow Bridge in Central Park on our fun trip to NYC. I'm normally the girl who loves to tell a good story, but I'm seriously at a loss for words when I try to talk about it. I was hoping it would happen. I was even kind of expecting it, but I was still totally shocked when he got down on one knee!! It was all very cheesy and sweet and perfect!

This explains my absense from the blog world. I'm spending all of my time reading wedding magazines and playing on The Knot!

I'm getting married! YAY!!!!

I Officially Hate Moving

2009-07-23T03:47:00.002-05:00

What was I thinking when I decided to pack my own boxes?

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Procrastinators should never be put in charge of packing.

I have too much stuff.

So tired.

This sucks.

The End.

7?!! How is she already 7?

2009-07-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

**So this post has been sitting UNFINISHED for weeks. I'm a slacker mom**

Today is Kaeli's 7th birthday! (by today I mean 2 weeks ago...)

I seriously can't believe how fast 7 years has gone by.

I have to say that this past year has been one of my favorites. She really has grown up so much.

Case in point - She used "Touche" in a conversation we had the other day. And she used it CORRECTLY.

I love the person she is growing into.

Let's travel down memory lane, shall we.

Baby Kaeli!! Oh how I miss that squishy tummy.

2 year old Kaeli! One of my most favorite pictures EVER.

3 year old rockstar Kaeli

4 year old Princess Kaeli...I LOVED HER HAIR...I was obsessed with her little curls...I miss them everyday.

More 4 year old Kaeli...she carried a book EVERYWHERE

5 year old Kaeli...such a sweet little face!

6 year old Kaeli...Seriously fun age!!

And now...7 year old Kaeli...attitude and all

2009-07-09T11:04:00.001-05:00

The powers that be blocked blogger at work!! Do they really think they can stop me?I will not be silenced!!!!

I think a discussion over proper use of a toilet seat is in my future

2009-07-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

Remember how I casually mentioned that there was a reason I haven't been blogging much?

Well, I am ready to share it with the blogosphere.

Y'all are waiting with bated breath, aren't you?

Okay. Here it goes.

I'M MOVING!

Wow. How is that for anticlimactic?

Rob and I have reached the threshold on the length of a long distance relationship , and we decided it was time that Kaeli and I moved to his city. I pretend like we spent so much time debating who's city we would move too, but really there was never that much doubt. I like Houston, but I don't LOVE Houston so it won't be too hard to say goodbye. (Peace out, hurricane season. I am so not scared of you anymore.) Plus, quite frankly, his job is just better than mine. We found a house (to rent, of course...i am so not ready for the responsibility of my own home), and I am officially moving in 2 1/2 weeks. We've talked about it for a while, and it feels so weird that the time is already here.

I didn't want to put it down on the blog until things were final, and all important people had been notified. (i.e. - My boss because even though no one at work really knows about my blog, it would be just my luck that someone would stumble upon it before I had the chance to say anything. Not that anyone I work with really even knows what a blog is.)

I found it impossible to pull together a coherent post when all I really wanted to do was announce the move. I tried a bunch of times, but always left the post unfinished. I guess now y'all get to be inundated with all of the mundane stuff that happened in the last month. Lucky!!

Well, I am so glad that is out of the bag.

In a couple of weeks, I will be living with a boy. So weird.

The Emotional Minefield that is Raising an (Almost) 7 Year Old

2009-06-19T10:35:00.005-05:00

OMG, y'all.

This whole raising a girl thing is IN-Freaking-SANE.

Kaeli has always been on the creative side. She's crafty and artsy. She talks about becoming a fashion designer when she grows up because she (and I quote) "just loves clothes so much and it is so fun to make styles." Since the day she could hold a crayon, she has been obsessed with notebooks and journals. She has them all over her room with drawings and short written passages.

Her creative flair has always been one of my favorite things about her. Kaeli and I are A LOT alike, but this is a quality she most definitely did not inherit from me. I love seeing all the ways she is growing into her own little person.

She also tends to be sensitive and dramatic (ok so the dramatic thing might be straight from my genes to hers but whatever).

Now on to my point. Kaeli has always shared her creative genius with me. She's always brought the journals and drawings to me so that we can look through them together. She never seemed to think of them as private or anything.

Until last weekend.

My friend gave Kaeli a little Hannah Montana notebook with cool colored pens. When Kaeli was in the other room playing with my friend's son, I, absentmindedly, picked up the notebook and started flipping through it.

Kaeli walked into the room to find me looking through the book, and had a complete and utter MELTDOWN. OMG. The crying. And the yelling about privacy and secret journals. And the crying. And she was so embarrassed. (In case you're curious, all she had written down was that she was in love with my friend's son, M. I think she caught me chuckling about it.) I sat there in shock because I have never seen her react this way before.

I apparently committed the absolute worse offense ever in her young life (Good thing she doesn't remember the baby years. She would be so mad if she knew all the first time mom dumb things that happened.) I have truly never seen her so angry and upset with me. I felt awful. I even bribed her with $2 and a pinky swear that I will never go through her journals again.

It amazes me that we can go from sharing everything, and, out of nowhere, she needs space and privacy. Her 7th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and she always gets a little "feisty" right before she turns a year older. I'm wondering if it's just a short term thing because she realizes she is almost 7 (and therefore totally grown up in her own eyes), or if we really are heading into a new stage of the growing up process. I mean, dudes, she's not even 7 yet. Isn't this all supposed to happen when she is older? I remember getting mad at my mom and sister when they would go through my journals. Their constant perusal of my inner thoughts is the reason I stopped writing them down. But, y'all, I was 11 when all of this crap started becoming important to me!

I guess it's time to brush up on my spy skills because I'm going to have to get a hell of a lot sneakier if we are to survive this phase!!

I Hope You Have Some Time and a Full Beverage because It's a Long One

2009-06-18T10:13:00.003-05:00

I feel like I have been seriously neglecting my poor little blog. It feels like I have so much to write about, but then I sit down to do it and nothing comes to mind! There kind of is a reason, but that's a different post for a different day.

(I'm so mysterious and intriguing, aren't I?)

So I guess y'all get a rambling, no clear point to it, catch up post.

Rambling #1
A couple weeks ago, Rob and I took Kaeli to Sea World for a little End of 1st Grade and Congrats on Being a Totally Awesome Kid Celebration. I hadn't actually been before, so I might have been just as excited as Kaeli. I planned on having 87 million pictures to show everyone, but I'm a genius and forgot to charge my camera. We ended up buying Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras at the gift shop. (Which I had totally forgotten how to use. Winding up and holding the flash and not being able to tell if I have a weird look on my face after taking a picture is so 1998!) The problem with Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras is that you have to actually take them somewhere and get them developed. Which means that the Ridiculously Overpriced Disposable Cameras will probably sit on my counter until the end of summer.

The problem with Sea World is that now I sit in my cubicle thinking that I missed my calling in life. I SO should have become a dolphin trainer. There was this dolphin feeding area where we bought trays of fish and got to STAND RIGHT NEXT TO DOLPHINS AND FEED THEM. It was my favorite part of the day. They're so friendly and cute. I felt like an excited little kid. I forgot how much I loved dolphins when I was younger until I was literally inches from one. I might have gone through 6 trays of fish and had to be reminded (more than once) to share by my 6 year old daughter.

The Sea World trip wasn't all sunshine and happy dolphins. I also realized, more than ever, that guys are seriously ridiculous. No really. They can't help it. And by guys I mean Rob and the Minivan Driver at the Sea World Entrance. Stay with me here because it's going to get super run-on sentence like. The park opened at 10am, so you can imagine that at 10:22am the entrance was beyond crowded. First, there was an area to pay for parking, and then the 3 lanes merged to 2 lanes. Rob and I were in the far lane and needed to merge. Everyone was following proper crowded park merging etiquette. You know, the whole each car lets one car in thing. It was our turn to merge. Rob was driving, and I notice that the Minivan driver was not going to let us in, and it would be better to wait for the next car. I tell this to Rob, but Macho Man Syndrome sets in and he becomes DETERMINED to merge at this EXACT moment. Rob and Minivan Driver do the whole keep scooting up until someone gives in thing, and my voice is increasing in volume because we're in my new car and seriously what is the point of acting like an idiot. Then, the Minivan driver starts honking and calling Rob a motherf*cker, which I thought was really classy seeing as how all of us have kids in the car and his minivan had a Christian Fish Symbol on it. Finally, Rob backs down and lets the Minivan driver win, but I was totally pissed. It was completely ridiculous behaviour, right? Does it really matter if we are behind or in front of the minivan. There are HUNDREDS of cars in line. We are all going to the same place. It's going to take some time and patience!!! Plus was the little display of macho-ness really worth pissing me off and ruining what was a very nice and peaceful morning? Guys + Cars + Long Lines = Unbelievably Childish Behaviour.

Ok. Rant over. Thanks to those of y'all who made it through that story!

Rambling #2
One of my very favorite people in the whole wide world is moving very far away, and I'm super sad about it. My BFF's (I call her P-squared) hubby is in the Air Force and got orders to go to Germany for the next 4 years. I'm super excited for her because traveling Europe = Awesome, but I am so bummed that I won't be able to see her whenever I want. We've lived with in weekend visiting distance forever. Of course there will be visiting, but how realistic is it to think that we will see each other even once a year? And how the hell does international text messaging work? Is there even a plan for that because OMG what am I going to do if I can't text her 50 times a day? P^2 has a son, M, that is a few weeks younger than Kaeli. Kaeli and M have been super close since they were in the womb! It's so weird that for the next four years I won't be able to see him growing up. Not to mention that her and the hubby have been trying to have another baby, and the thought that they could come back to the states with a little P^2 who I don't know is heartbreaking.

Rambling #3
This conversation took place between the sons of P^2 and another friend. Both boys are 6.

J: Hey, M do you know Kaeli?
M: Yeah. She's kind of my cousin*.
J: She's really pretty.

* M calls Rob uncle, even though Rob isn't his actual uncle. M is convinced that if Rob and I ever get married, he and Kaeli will be cousins.

How effing cute is all of that? This age is fun.

Rambling #4
If you follow me on Twitter (kristi_kp...but why would you because I'm awfully boring) then you know I revealed a shameful secret. I have this strange desire to read Lauren Conrad's book LA Candy. I can't even explain why. You can stop wanting to be my friends now. I understand.

I could keep rambling. It's one of my specialties, but I think y'all have been through enough torture. I totally get it if you just skimmed.

On a side note, I feel so much better getting all of this out there. I really shouldn't take accidental blogging breaks anymore!!

Thank You, Jimmy Fallon For Making A Girl's Dream Come True

2009-06-09T20:53:00.003-05:00

Jimmy Fallon is on a noble crusade to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell.

Y'all can't even begin to imagine how much I want to see this happen.

Check out my first love, Zack Morris, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon!

(it's kind of long, but worth every second)

Let This Be One of those Things She Forgets When She Gets Older

2009-06-02T09:06:00.002-05:00

I think I just took the award for the most ridiculous and pointless thing ever said to a 6 year old.

Kaeli has been having some listening issues lately, and it's grinding on my last nerve. My usually sweet, well-behaved, and compliant daughter literally hears nothing that comes out of my mouth. I have to say something 5 times before she acknowledges me, and even then she barely carries out any of the tasks I ask her to do.

I'm pretty positive that this phase is brought on by the end of the school year. It's the last week of school, and I think both of us are just tired of the routine. We're both irritable and exhausted.

Last night, after battling with her for what felt like an eternity (but was probably only 20 minutes) I took away TV privileges for the rest of the school year. (school ends Thursday, but I thought it sounded more drastic worded the other way!!) She did not take this well and mumbled under her breath all the way to her bedroom. This morning, she was complaining about how mean and unfair I was for taking away the TV (the kid needs her Disney channel), and I said something that I'm still shaking my head about.

Kaeli: But it's not fair that you get to watch TV and I don't.
Me: (are y'all ready for this piece of brilliance that I am about to share?) Well, I listen to me so I get to watch TV. You don't listen to me so you don't get to watch TV.

Seriously? I LISTEN TO ME. It doesn't even make sense. As soon as it came out of my mouth I knew it was stupid. At the same time, I realized it was totally something my own mother would say which freaks me out on so many levels. When did I turn into my mother? I didn't see that happen at all.

If I expect to be able to battle with her when she is a teenager, I am going to have to have better comebacks. Dear God that one was shameful!

Because I Haven't Mentioned Edward Cullen in Forever

2009-05-19T11:45:00.003-05:00

Y'all know I had no choice but to jump on the leaked New Moon movie poster bandwagon, right. I just have no control over my Edward Cullen impulses.

I just have to say that I LOVE THIS MOVIE POSTER. The only way it would be better is if *I* had any acting talent whatsoever, was cast as Bella Swan, and got to make-out with Edward Cullen all day long.

Would y'all think I was super ridiculous if I already had the movie release date set in my iPhone? That's totally normal, right? RIGHT?

Monday Scorecard

2009-05-18T09:16:00.003-05:00

My bed was so comfortable this morning that I hit the snooze 3 times. Monday -1
I had 2 cups of coffee before 7am, seriously increasing my perkiness level. Monday +1
I am having a super cute hair day. Monday +1
Kaeli was unbelievable sweet and cooperative this morning. Monday +1
The card reader on the bus wasn't working. Free ride to work. Monday +1
The guy sitting next to me smelled like stale leftovers. Monday -1
Traffic seriously sucked. Took forever to get to work. Monday -1
Dancing with the Stars finale and The Bachelorette with Jillian starts tonight. Monday +1

Looks like I'm up 5 to 3. Suck it, Monday!

Kaeli Sound Bites

2009-05-12T23:07:00.002-05:00

The Set-up:
When Kaeli was at the park with her grandma today, she fell while running around the track. The track is made of gravel, and her hands and knees were covered in scrapes. No lie, she looked like she had been dragged through rocks.

Me: Oh My Goodness, Kaeli! You look awful.
Kaeli: Just what every girl loves to hear. Thanks.

I have no idea where she picked up that kind of sarcasm.

More Car Talk

2009-05-07T10:45:00.003-05:00

Last Friday, I had an appointment with my insurance adjuster to get an estimate for the damage to my flooded car. After all of my Google searching and unsolicited advice from coworkers, I was a little nervous about the outcome of this meeting.

(Turns out that there are so many flood claims in good old H-town right now that, they had to fly the guy I met with in from Maryland just to handle the demand!)

The guy was really nice. He determined that since my car was still running and drivable that the damage wasn't too bad. He worked up an estimate, and I left my precious car in the very capable hands of the men at the "flood specialist" repair shop with the assurance that it would be done in a few days.

As I was driving home in my rental car, I had mixed feelings about the outcome. On one hand I was happy that I would get my car back, but on the other, I was worried about the future value and safety of my car.

Turns out that all the worrying was pointless because, the next day (Saturday), my insurance guy called to tell me that after further inspection, they realized water got into a lot of my electrical stuff. He decided to total my car.

My cute little car is gone. I had already taken everything out, so I'll never see it again.

Upon hearing this news, Rob immediately went into "guy problem solving mode". He immediately got on the Internet, and two hours after hearing about my car I found myself being dragged around a car dealership.

I really was only going to look, but then I saw the exact car I wanted. The car that had been in the back of my mind ever since someone mentioned that my flooded car was most likely totalled. The car that I didn't let myself think too much about because (1) I didn't want to get my hopes up and (2) I felt like I was betraying my flooded car.

Kaeli was really excited to go car shopping. She suggested that I buy a limo and just hire a butler to drive us around. I really love the way that girl thinks!

So, barely a week after the super stressful flooding, I'm driving around in my new car! It's wonderful and pretty and I got a good deal and I LOVE IT. It's so much bigger than my old car (it was a Mazda 3). It is a little sad to think that my days of a small cute car are over for a while. We were growing out of the old car anyway, so, while the timing wasn't exactly what I had planned, everything worked out for the best.

I guess all of my hopes and prayers from the last post were answered because the whole process could not have been easier.

After driving my old Mazda for 4 years, I couldn't imagine not having another one so:

Check out my Mazda CX-7. YAY!!

Isn't Kaeli so cute in her gymnastics leotard?

Oh, There's More...

2009-04-29T14:47:00.003-05:00

Just having a flooded car wasn't enough to make yesterday go down in history as one of the Top 5 crappiest days I've ever had.

After dealing with all of the car stress, Kaeli and I went inside to clean up and try to relax a little bit. Up until this point, our dog, Maverick had been seriously neglected because so much was going on. We put his leash on, and took him for a nice walk.

Things were going just fine. The sun had come out, and all of roads had dried up. Quite frankly, unless you had spent your morning trying to salvage your car, it was a pretty day.

I noticed a couple of kids petting a dog that wasn't on a leash. I thought nothing of it until the rather large dog started CHARGING my 11lb. poodle mix. I told Kaeli to get away, and I tried to pick up Maverick before the dog could get to him, but the mean dog was too fast. He's barking and trying to bite Maverick, Mav is trying to get out of the way, and I'm trying, in vain, to get my little dog off of the ground to safety. The next thing I know, mean dog has a hold of Mav's tail and Kaeli is watching and FREAKING OUT. I'm trying to scare the dog away, but it's not working. Maverick manages to wiggle out of his collar (since I still have the leash) and take off running towards home. In hindsight, I guess I could have let go of the leash and let Maverick go running right away, but I kept picturing mean dog chasing him down and hurting him since I wouldn't have been there to protect Maverick. Finally, the mean dog runs the other way. I get Kaeli and Maverick into the apartment, and go looking for mean dog's owners.

The mean dog is chilling in the grass, and the kids are petting him. They don't know who's dog it is. In fact, no one in the whole complex knows who owns this dog. The kids totally ignored me when I said that they probably should be more careful around it. He seemed okay around people, but they had just watched what he tried to do to my dog. It didn't seem to phase the kids at all.

He had a collar, but I wasn't going to get close enough to look. I'm assuming that he got out of someone's yard. I was going to call animal control or something, so that they could handle the issue, but then the dog disappeared.

Thankfully, Maverick seems ok. As soon as we got into the apartment he was wagging is tail. I checked him for puncture wounds, but I don't think the mean dog ever got a good grip on him. Maverick is little, but he's scrappy.

I walked away from it the most injured. I have a huge burn from when the retractable leash wrapped around my arm during the dog rescuing efforts. Not to mention that now I'm totally terrified to take Maverick out for a walk. I'm also rethinking the retractable leash idea.

Maverick has always driven me a little crazy. He has destroyed my shoe collection, chewed up Kaeli's toys, and, when he gets really mad at me, he urinates in his crate and rolls in it so that he's completely soaked in dog piss. Then, as I was petting him and showering him with extra attention last night, I realized that I would be devastated if something ever happened to him. As annoying as he can be, he has firmly implanted himself as part of this family. I don't want to wish bad things on an animal, but I seriously hate that other dog for even coming near Mav.

The whole incident probably lasted a minute, but it was a seriously long minute. Like a slow motion minute that was just icing on the cake of one of the longest days ever.

I Will Never Look at Water the Same Way Again

2009-04-29T13:14:00.007-05:00

Yesterday was one of those days that just sucks ass. There is no eloquent way to describe the shittiness of my Tuesday.

3am - Early Morning Storms

Kaeli came into my room, and asked to sleep in my bed because she was scared by the thunderstorm. Until she came in, I didn't even know there was a storm. It turned out to be a really bad one. The thunder was so loud, and the lightening was so bright that I couldn't fall back asleep. There was hail hitting my windows so hard that I was sure they were going to break. It was insane. I just sat there watching the ridiculous amount of rain. I have never seen so much rain in my life.

6am - Happy Ignorance of the Day Ahead

It was still raining so hard. I turned on the TV to check out the morning news. OMG. There was flooding EVERYWHERE. And, of course, my side of town was hit really badly. Kaeli's school was delayed 2 hours, the park and ride wasn't running routes, the power went out briefly, and the weatherman was very adamant that if you didn't absolutely have to be anywhere then stay home. I watched the pandemonium for a while, then emailed my boss to let him know that I was going to wait out the storm, and I would be into work after I dropped Kaeli off at school. Then I smiled because I was going to get to sleep in on a weekday. I blissfully climbed back into bed.

8am - The Shit Storm Begins

I get a text from my friend saying that the powers that be decided to cancel school all together. I realize that I'm going to have to call work and tell them I'm not coming in, but I quickly find out that staying home with Kaeli is the least of my worries. My alarm goes off, my phone rings, and someone is knocking on my door all at the same time. I rise from my slumber to my friend calling and my neighbor knocking to tell me the same news.

My car is full of water.

As it turns out, pretty much every car on my street is full of water. Neighbors are informing other neighbors, and in a matter of minutes the parking lot is full of people trying desperately to dry out their cars. The water has receded, so the street isn't flooded anymore, but the damage has been done.

My friends and I spent about two hours trying to soak up as much water as possible, but it really didn't help. I gave up, dirty and exhausted.

Since Rob is truly the best boyfriend on the planet, he left work and drove all the way down here to help me. He spent hours shop-vacing (is that even a word) my car. It didn't really do a lot of good though. There is SO MUCH water. I know he knew that his efforts were futile. He just did it to make me feel better, and try to help me out.

My car still runs. I'm not sure it's such a great thing to be driving it around, but at this point I just don't care. It was still wet this morning. Don't even get me started on the smell. So seriously disgusting.

I called my insurance to make a claim yesterday, but so did everyone in Houston. I have an appointment on Friday with the insurance adjuster. I've never done anything like this before. The only accident I've ever been in was a fender bender when I was 16, and my mom handled everything. In all honesty, I have no clue what the heck is going on.

At first, I just figured they would take a look at it, and decide to take out the carpets and re-upholster everything. Then, I got to work. According to my coworkers, water is a car's kryptonite. They are all telling me to hope it gets totalled because there is no coming back from that kind of water damage. I'm still making payments on my poor little car. I only have about a year left. It scares the crap out of me that it will get totalled, but the insurance company won't value it for enough to pay off the car and have a little left over for a down payment on another one. I'm also scared that the car won't get totalled, but it will never be worth anything ever again because of all the water damage. Apparently, no one wants a car that has ever been in a flood.

I've realized that I do not handle stress well. I have this tendency to just shut down and avoid everything at all costs when things get to be too much.

I'm also annoyed with myself because I've always thought of myself as an independent chick, but the first thing I did was call my boyfriend and freak out!

I know it could be so much worse (one story in the news is particularly awful), but right now, it feels like a lot. I just hope and pray that this all goes smoothly and quickly.

And now for your viewing pleasure, a few hastily taken pictures:

This picture doesn't really show anything. I just think my poor car looks sad and pathetic.

This is inside the trunk. We pulled up all of the mats, and this is my spare tire. Please notice the POOL of dirty brown water surrounding the tire. The tire was submerged in gross rain water and floating trunk trash.

Also notice the dirty water line. It might be tough to see, but, apparently, this is how high the water came up to my car.

I can say, with a large amount of confidence, that I will never be able to enjoy a thunderstorm ever again. No longer will I find snuggling under the blankets while sleeping or reading comforting and cozy.

Because My Google Reader Can Never Be Too Full

2009-04-27T14:21:00.002-05:00

New Fun Blog Alert!

New Fun Blog Alert!

I just finished reading through Love Story, and it is such a cute idea for a blog.

I'm a sucker for other people's tales of romance!

Now I Know What Barbara Walters and Perez Hilton are Doing at Every Moment

2009-04-21T09:09:00.003-05:00

I did it.

I jumped on the Twitter bandwagon.

So, what do I do now?

I haven't actually left a Tweet, yet, because my first time should be something awesome, right? I mean "I'm secretly blogging at work" isn't really a Twitter worthy event. Instead, I'm checking the Twitterific app on my phone every 20 minutes to find out what else Perez Hilton has to say about Miss California.

Anyone else out there on Twitter? I can't possibly follow only celebrities. That makes me seem ~~lame~~ awesome.

Check baby check baby 123

2009-04-15T14:09:00.000-05:00

Email blogger from my phone too? Could this day get anymore exciting?!
Technology rocks.

Kristi

Sent from my iPhone

2009-04-15T13:23:00.001-05:00

OMG. Look what I learned how 2 do 2day. Txt 2 blogger. Best day EVER.

Everbody Was Kung Fu Fighting

2009-04-10T12:59:00.003-05:00

I totally don't know why that song is stuck in my head.

Kaeli brought home a VERY bad grade on her math test this week.

The thing is, she had all of the answers right. Except the last 10 which she just DIDN'T ANSWER. When I asked her why she didn't answer the questions, she says that she doesn't have enough time, but I seriously doubt that is the case. Especially since, when we go over the questions, she knows the answer immediately. It's simple subtraction, and she has managed to complete the same test format in previous weeks.

I need to contact the teacher and find out if Kaeli is just getting distracted or playing around when she should be taking the test, but that is a different post for a different day.

Anyway, I know she is only in the first grade, but poor performance on tests (when I know she understands the material) is just unacceptable to me.

Her punishment was no TV and an early bedtime until she brought home a better grade. Presumably on next week's math test.

She did not take this well one bit. It's actually the first time she has ever seriously complained about being punished. In the past, she has just taken whatever sentence I have handed down and accepted it with no comments.

In all honesty, her punishment is super lenient. I told her that it wouldn't count over the weekend (because of the holiday and all), and it is okay if, after she does her homework, she watches TV at her grandmother's house. This is a strictly in our house punishment. When we get home she has to study her math and be in bed at 7:30 (normally it's 8). This all started Wednesday night, she's out of school Friday and Monday, plus the weekend, so, essentially, there are only 4 nights where the punishment will be enforced. I don't really care about the actual punishment as much as I care that she realizes that she is being punished for her grade. Does that make sense?

Back to my point, she is not taking this well AT ALL. She burst into tears while we were talking about it. She cried out "This punishment is HORRIBLE." She kept saying that she is a good kid, and it feels like I don't appreciate her. I had to stifle my laughter as I explained that I do love her and appreciate her. Why did I almost burst into hysterical laughter, you ask?

Because I used to say the exact same shit to my parents! Whenever I would get in trouble for breaking curfew or talking back, I would tell them that they don't realize how good they have it. I could be out doing drugs and drinking, but I'm not. They are so lucky, and they don't even APPRECIATE it. Of course, I was a teenager before I brought out this logic on my parents, but Kaeli is pulling out the big guns at 6!!! I think I have created a monster.

I know I should call my parents and inform them of this new development, but I don't think I can handle the pure glee that I would hear in their voices.

Health Conscious Much?

2009-04-06T09:54:00.005-05:00

Look what I found at the grocery store this weekend.

I know that I ~~unsuccessfully~~ try watch what I eat, but I've never thought that I should be counting calories for my dog too.

American Girl

2009-04-02T19:51:00.011-05:00

I've been meaning to post some pictures of Kaeli's trip to American Girl for, like, a week. For those of y'all with sons, or girls not into dolls, American Girl is a BIG DEAL. I know y'all have been waiting on pins and needles to see all the crazy things that go on behind those big huge doors.

Tess* came into our lives last summer, when Kaeli's great aunt presented Kaeli with her very first American Girl. She's been a pretty important fixture since then.

When Kaeli was on Spring Break, I wanted to do something fun and special so I decided that her first trip to AG was in order.

I wasn't quite sure Rob could handle that much girl-ness, but he was a total trooper.

The one thing I took away from the AG visit is that little girls are freaking crazy when it comes to dolls.

Kaeli giving Tess some love.

Tess at the DOLL HAIR SALON. I still shake my head when I think about the fact that I paid $20 to get a DOLL'S hair done.

Kaeli posing with the finished 'do

The amount of stuff in this bag is unreal. Earrings for the doll. (I convinced Kaeli that stick on earrings were better than regular earrings because we shouldn't poke holes in Tess. That's right folks, you can choose to have your AG Doll's ears pierced!) A new pet cat, Ginger. A new sporty skateboarding outfit for Tess (I think Rob influenced that one A LOT). A sleeping bag for Tess. And her favorite score of the day, matching pajamas for Kaeli and Tess. She's been begging for matching outfits since the moment she got the doll, but I'm not ready to make that leap into crazy just yet. Maybe next time. I had to literally hide the pajamas one night so that I could finally wash them!

Tess after a wardrobe change.

Next was lunch with Tess. There is a whole lotta pink in that bistro! It was a little overpriced (Duh), but the food was good and Kaeli really enjoyed herself.

And last but not least, a picture with all of the Dolls of the Year. Each one of these dolls is only available for one year. I'm considering getting her this year's doll.

All in all it was a lot of fun. I can order the stuff online, but actually going to one of the few stores was really exciting for Kaeli. She already has her next trip planned. In her mind, that trip includes another doll (because Tess needs a sister) and bunk beds for the dolls to sleep on. And more matching outfits, of course. Oy with the poodles already. (If you know the show that line is from then you get to be my new best friend!)

* Kaeli named her doll Tess after one of the characters in Camp Rock. Tess happens to be the blonde bratty mean one. Then, I realized that Kaeli also prefers Sharpay, the blonde bratty mean one in High School Musical. Then, I started wondering if that meant that Kaeli aspires to be a blonde bratty mean girl. But then I realized that I spent alot of ~~a few months ago~~ my late teens and early 20s being a blonde bratty mean girl. I'm definitely seeing a little bit of a blonde bratty mean girl in my future. Fortunately, she's the sweetest funniest little girl, but I'm not sure that I can avoid it. My mother always told me that you reap what you sow. Damn. I really really hate it when the things she said when I was younger turn out to be right.

Some People Should Not Be Parents

2009-04-02T14:07:00.003-05:00

This might seriously be the most disgusting thing I have ever read. What kind of mother does something like this?

Police: Mom drugged daughter so she'd get pregnant
PITTSBURGH (AP) — A mother in Pennsylvania has been charged with giving her 13-year-old daughter drugs and alcohol so the woman's boyfriend could get the girl pregnant, police said Thursday.

Shana Brown, 32, is no longer able to have children but wanted to have a baby with her current boyfriend, Duane Calloway, said Uniontown Police Det. Donald Gmitter. The pair decided to drug the girl so Calloway, 40, could have sex with her without her knowledge, he added.

"There's some sick people on this case," Gmitter said.

Brown has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and was to turn herself into police later Thursday, Gmitter said. Brown's attorney did not immediately return a call for comment.

Calloway faces several counts of attempted rape. He was arrested Wednesday and remains in Fayette County Jail.

The three incidents occurred in Brown's home in Uniontown in western Pennsylvania, according to the criminal complaint.

The girl told police the plot was apparently hatched sometime in December after she rejected her mother's proposal that she allow Calloway to impregnate her and then marry him.

In the following months, Calloway attempted to rape the girl three times, Gmitter said.

The first time, in February, the girl was alone with Calloway while her mother went out to buy pizza, according to the criminal complaint. Calloway began groping her and she kicked him away, the documents stated.

A few weeks later, the girl believes her mother spiked her Pepsi with rum, according to police. The girl told them she felt ill after drinking the Pepsi, passed out and later threw up. She was also partially naked when she woke up and Calloway was in the room, according to the criminal complaint.

The third incident occurred in mid-March, when the girl told police she came home early from school because she was not feeling well. She said her mother forced her to drink tea, and then she immediately fell asleep.

The girl said she pretended she was asleep until Calloway made a move, at which point she bolted upright and he left the room.

In a search of the Brown residence, police said they found an empty rum bottle, Tylenol PM and a pill crusher.

Toothless Wonder

2009-04-01T09:33:00.002-05:00

Kaeli lost her very first tooth Monday night!

(I feel kind of guilty because I missed the actual falling out of the tooth because I was at the Britney Spears concert. Pictures to come!)

This tooth has been loose for WEEKS. I seriously didn't know a loose tooth could last that long. It gave me way too much time to stress over the going rate for the Tooth Fairy. In the end, I decided that $5 was perfect for a first tooth. She told me she's going to save it for her next American Girl trip. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she's going to have to lose a lot more teeth to buy anything at AG!

It's so weird looking at her now. She suddenly looks so much older to me!

Now, I have a pressing question. What the hell do I do with her tooth? I know my mom kept mine and my sister's baby teeth, but I get this serious feeling of ICK when I think of keeping random teeth tucked away in my jewelry box. At the same time, I can't just throw it away. It's the 2nd tooth that was ever in her little baby mouth. It's like sentimental and stuff. So, Internets, what should I do with it. What did y'all do, or plan to do, with your babies loose teeth? Inquiring minds need to know!

A Not Awesome Discovery

2009-03-23T16:42:00.004-05:00

There is a serious issue that I forgot to add to the very exciting bullet post about my weekend. It's probably better this way because the shock of what happened to me deserves it's own post.

Ok. Here it goes. Deep breath.

While flat ironing my hair on Friday, I found 3 hairs that were not the same color as the rest of my hair.

They were grey.

I immediately ripped those suckers out. If it really is true that 2 more will grow in each not brunette hair's place, then I guess I'll be pulling 6 out next week.

When Rob got home from work, I told him about my horrible discovery. His response, you ask?
"I noticed them last week, but I didn't want to tell you about it."

Not cool.

I had to insert a new relationship rule. If he notices anything that in any way shape or form could be considered as me looking like I am aging, he must immediately tell me so I can correct the situation.

Now every time I'm near a mirror I can't help but glance at my roots and inspect my hair for more not brunette strands.

I am so not ready for this stage of life.

Monday Morning Bullets

2009-03-23T10:15:00.004-05:00

I'm having a difficult time concentrating today.
I hit the snooze for at least 45 minutes this morning, and am having an incredibly uncooperative hair day.
I seriously need another day to recover from the exhausting weekend.
I went to Rob's house for the weekend and realized this morning that I left my cute black boots.
This means that I am forced into seriously uncomfortable heels as my black shoe wardrobe for the week. It doesn't matter how many pairs of black heels I own, none of them are as comfortable as my boots. I seriously need to buy more flats, but when you're 5'1" you need all the help you can get.
Rob and I took Kaeli to the American Girl store this weekend. It was her first trip there, and she's already planning her next. SO. MANY. GIRLS. SO. MANY. DOLLS. Don't think y'all are getting by without a full report on the trip. Start preparing yourself for the amount of pictures Kaeli wanted me to take of her and her doll.
A couple of my favorite friends came to Rob's place this weekend too.
One of them just broke up with her boyfriend, and serious girl support was needed.
Rob deserves a medal for all the girl talk he sat through this weekend. He even participated. Don't tell him I told you that. Also, watching him be super supportive of my friends made me heart him more even more.
I am officially too old to handle drinking an entire bottle of Firefly Vodka with my friends. Apparently, hangover recovery time increases with age.
I watched so much college basketball this weekend. March Madness Bracket Pools are one of my favorite things about working in an office. I currently have 36 correct picks. I have Louisville over Pittsburgh in the championship, so keep your fingers crossed, my friends.
I bought Twilight at approximately 12:24am Friday night/Saturday morning. Then, I went straight home and watched it. I'm pretty sure y'all expected no less from me.
Rob and I also saw I Love You, Man with Paul Rudd (I love him. Remember Clueless?) this weekend. All of you must drop whatever you are doing at this moment and go and see that movie. So insanely funny. And Netflix Role Models! Paul Rudd is on a hilarious movie streak!

I hope everyone else had a fantastic weekend!

More Earring Fun

2009-03-19T10:56:00.003-05:00

Who knew I could stretch my earring conversations with Kaeli into 2 different posts?

So, we've established that Kaeli has a new found interest in her earrings. Yesterday morning, she had me put in a pair for her.

She was getting into the shower last night, and realized they were still in her ears. Kaeli called for me to come and help her take them out.

"Mom, I need EARRING SUPPORT!"

Earring Support? What?

I laughed so hard I could barely get the earrings out for her. I'm probably biased, but I have a seriously funny kid.

As Seen on TV

2009-03-18T11:12:00.004-05:00

Kaeli has suddenly become addicted to Jon & Kate Plus 8. I had it on over the weekend, and, now, she's constantly asking to change the channel to TLC.

On Sunday, they had a Jon & Kate marathon in which each kid got a "Special Day". The kid got to choose something to do alone with their parents. It was actually kind of nice to see how the kids act by themselves. They all seemed to really enjoy the activities and extra attention.

Kaeli was watching it again last night, and she started talking about Cara and Mady. I think they're her favorites because they are close to her age.

Kaeli: Mommy, can I have a Special Day and go get my ears pierced like Mady?

Me: Um. You already have your ears pierced. (yes, i'm one of those parents that pierced my daughter's ears when she was a baby. Judge all you want. It looked so cute, and I was really sick of people asking if she was a boy or girl. Even with her dressed in all pink people would ask, so I don't know why i thought earrings would help. )

Kaeli: No I don't.

Me: Yes you do. I was there.

Kaeli: No, I really don't have my ears pierced.

Me: You wear earrings! How do you think the holes got there?

Kaeli: Oh.

I can't make up conversations this good if I tried. It cracks me up that she was so insistent that I was wrong!

On the plus side, she now has a renewed interest in the jewelry box full of earring sitting on her dresser.

And I will leave y'all with a picture taken over the weekend that showcases her ability to accessorize.

She was just playing in her room like this. Sunglasses and all (they have glittery peace signs on the sides. So Cute! I heart Justice/Limited Too/Whatever it's called.) Oh, and the shoes on the bed drive me crazy, but they were brand new and I couldn't resist the picture!

I prefer Spring Shopping so much more than Spring Cleaning!!

Happy St Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T08:27:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone is wearing their green today!

It's only 8:30am, but I'm already thinking of the beer I'll be celebrating with tonight. I love drinking holidays!

All Tied Up

2009-03-16T09:07:00.003-05:00

Happy Monday, everyone! I feel like I've been such a sporadic blogger lately. I have a bunch of fun stories in my head, but keep procrastinating on getting them written down.

Anyway~

Kaeli officially started Spring Break, and, since I ~~of course~~ work all week, I want to take even more advantage of the weekends. She works really hard ~~for a 1st grader~~, and I want her to have a nice time off. The weather was gross, so we went to see Race to Witch Mountain. It was so cute. I really loved it. It might be because of my little crush on Dwayne Johnson, though. Does anyone else have trouble NOT referring to him as The Rock? I know he's gone all actor on us, but I can't help hear the words "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking" every time I see him. I'm always anticipating him finishing off the other actors with a People's Elbow!

After the movie it was shopping time!

I'm beginning to think I might have a serious shopping problem. I really like to buy things. Like REALLY like to buy things. By "things" I generally mean clothes for Kaeli. I literally ran out of hangers for all of her clothes ~~again~~ after this weekend's adventures. I just can't pass up a good sale! The problem is that she has way too many clothes, and I have none. I swear I'm wearing the same things over and over, but she can go weeks without repeating an outfit. Clothes just look so much cuter on a 6 year old. I promised myself that I'm done buying her clothes for a while. It's my turn gosh darn it!!

This finally brings me to the actual reason I wanted to post today. I have a confession. Kaeli is 6 1/2 years old, and I've never taught her to tie her shoes. I know! I suck! What kind of parent am I? In the grand tradition of lazy parenting, all of Kaeli's shoes are some type of cute slip on. Her tennis shoes are all sparkly Sketchers with the fancy no-tie elastic laces. She can tie her robe and stuff, but we've just never gotten around to the shoe tying thing. Rob found this to be completely unacceptable and decided that he had to buy Kaeli a pair of shoes with actual laces.

She picked out the cutest pair of hi-top sneakers, which makes me laugh because the 80s are definitely back in full force if my 6 year old wants hi-tops. All she needs now is a pair of LA Gear with the double laces (I had pink and white laces) (do any of you other 80s kids remember what I'm talking about) (they were so cool) to be my childhood self reincarnate.

Get to the point, Kristi.

OK. OK.

So we get home with these brand new lace up shoes. Rob and I get them all laced up and call Kaeli over for the shoe tying lesson. Her response, you ask?

"I already know how to tie my shoes. My friend at school showed me."

Then she proceeded to correctly tie her shoes, and left me sitting in the living room with my mouth hanging open.

So...Um...Yeah...Total FAIL in the parenting department!

At least she's not picking up sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll in the 1st grade hallway. Not that I know of anyway!!

Oh The HOTNESS

2009-03-12T12:22:00.003-05:00

Robert Pattinson's GQ cover.

Dear GAWD!

Like I Need Another Outlet for Wasting Time

2009-03-09T11:42:00.003-05:00

I finally got tired of being the only person on the planet without a Wii, and, this weekend, I went out and got my very own.

Actually, Rob and I got a Wii. We bought a Wii. Ha ha. I crack myself up.

We've been talking about it for a while, and, finally, got off our butts and got one. It's our very first JOINT purchase. As in, I paid for half, and he paid for the other half. If our relationship takes a tragic turn (which I highly doubt), there is now a piece of property that must be discussed and divided. By golly, I think I'm in a serious grown up relationship. The Wii gets to reside at my place, though. Yay me!

We also got the Wii Fit. I was concerned that it would be hard to find, but, fortunately, there were a lot at the nearest Best Buy. I swear, once we got everything set up, Rob, Kaeli, and I played that thing for 4 hours.

I'm not sure how many of y'all have a Wii Fit, but the game does this whole body test thing. It gives you a Wii Fit age. My jaw dropped, and a high pitched scream of shock came from my body when it told me that my Wii Fit age is 40!!!!! 40! I'm only 27! That's just embarrassing. Now, I'm on a mission to play a little everyday and get that age to an appropriate number!

I have learned that I absolutely suck at all the Balancing games, but totally kick serious ass at the Hula Hoop game. Go me. This thing is genius. I was on last night for 45 minutes, and didn't even realize how much time had passed. I even broke a sweat during the aerobics games.

I'm totally pleased with my our purchase. I can't wait to go home and play with it some more. I have a feeling all of my spare time and money will be going towards the Wii for a while!!

Why Do I Watch This Crap?

2009-03-03T10:38:00.002-06:00

Did anyone else waste their time watching The Bachelor this season?

I've neglected to mention my addiction because ~~I'm totally embarrassed that I watch such mindnumbingly awful crap~~ I really doubt anyone cares about my opinion on this show, but after last night I can't be silenced!

Generally, I am not a devout Bachelor fan. I've seen a few seasons, but no where near all of them. The only reason I watched this season is because I picked up in the middle of The Bachelorette last season, and I really liked Jason Mesnick.

Boy, did he have me fooled. Now, I plan to hate him for all eternity.

I can handle the fact that he proposed to Melissa (my fave since the very first episode), and after some time realized that they weren't right for each other (even though I think 6 weeks isn't giving the relationship a fair shot). No one really expects these Bachelor relationships to last anyway. After all of these seasons, Trista and Ryan are the only couple married.

What I can't handle is the way he went about the situation. He brought her on TV and broke off their engagement without her ever knowing that something was wrong. Asshat!

Then, he immediately turns around and tells Molly that he is still in love with her and wants another shot!! Double Asshat!!!

He could have discretely broken up with Melissa after a couple of months, and then picked things up with Molly. It would have been way less scandalous after all of the excitement over the show wears off. I'm starting to think he likes the drama and feeling of being wanted by so many women more than he lets on.

And what the hell is Molly thinking? She thinks it's acceptable for Jason to break up with Melissa ON TV after only 6 weeks, and then ask her out not 20 minutes later? And she accepted! And then they spent the rest of the show making out and cuddling!

What makes me the most mad is that Jason took the warm, fuzzy, and hopeful feeling of the proposal away from me. Now I'm just left being cynical and realizing that even someone who seems like the nicest guy ever is actually just a dick.

In my rage over his douchey behaviour, I even joined the Facebook group Jason Mesnick is a Jerk.

Yep. I am not overly emotionally involved in this at all.

Scenes from a Cubicle

2009-02-27T09:03:00.005-06:00

Another post? Wow. Aren't y'all lucky!?

Are y'all ready for a little tour into Corporate America? It's exciting stuff. Really.

This is my cube. Inviting, isn't it?

This is my pen/pencil jar that I inherited from the person who occupied my cube before me.

This is a crazy office supply contraption thingy that has been in my inherited pen jar for the 1 1/2 years that I have resided in this cubicle.

For 1 1/2 years I have had no freaking clue what this thing is, but I couldn't ask anyone what it is because then people would think I was stupid and not take me seriously.

But then they all found out about my Perez Hilton addiction and Twilight obsession, so being taken seriously wasn't really a concern anymore.

So, I finally asked.

It's a STAPLE REMOVER! I've only ever seen the fun claw like staple removers. Not this flat strange thing. They don't teach this stuff in college, y'all.

I've been randomly stapling things to test it out. Being an accountant is full of fun times.

Tell the truth. Did any of you know it was a staple remover on first sight? I can't be the only person that has never seen one of these doodads before.

A Product of the Hannah Montana Generation

2009-02-27T08:42:00.005-06:00

Kaeli and I were at the grocery store the other day. To reward her patience and lack of whining as I bought every single thing in the store, I gave her $0.50 to get something out of those little machines by the door.

I figured she would go for the bright stickers, maybe the fun friendship bracelet, the damn bouncy balls that I find all over my house, or a nice round gumball.

I was wrong on all counts. She headed straight for the FAKE MUSTACHES.

What?

Obviously, I had to get a picture of my 6 year old very girly girl in a fake mustache.

I believe it is a photo that must be shared with the world.

notice my new PLUM colored sunglasses that she grabbed before I could snap a picture!!

This is now the pose she strikes every time I ask to take a picture.

I have a very odd child.

More Ways in Which I Waste Time During Work

2009-02-26T16:25:00.002-06:00

I can't remember where I first found out about this site. I'm pretty sure it was on someone else's blog, but I can't remember who. If it was you, then I would like to send a big thank you for decreasing the boredom on a lazy afternoon!

Reasons Why I Dumped You.

Immediately follow the link.

Trust me.

You Say That Now, Young Child

2009-02-25T14:29:00.002-06:00

Kaeli loves to read, and, in my very unbiased mother's opinion, she has gotten really good at it.

Her new favorite reading material is my cell phone. She likes to pass the time by scrolling through my text messages or looking over my shoulder as I text. The kid has even decoded some of the text message shorthand.

I finally had to have a talk with her about NOT reading my text messages.

Me: Kaeli, it is not polite to read through other people's messages without asking.
Kaeli: But texts are so fun.
Me: Yes, but how would you like it if I went into your room and read through your journal.
Kaeli: Go ahead. I don't care if you read that. Nothing in there is a secret.

I wonder if she'll still feel this way when she is 12?

While we're on the subject of Kaeli, some of you may remember Kaeli asking for an iPod right after she turned 6. I vetoed it because I thought she was a little too young for one, but she really has grown a lot in the last year. She's been doing a really good job taking care of her stuff, so I was considering the purchase when she turns 7 (which isn't until July anyway).

That is until last week. We were talking about a friend of her's having a birthday, and I mentioned that at 7 she might be old enough for her own iPod. My intention was to get her a little excited about it, but instead she said "I don't really need an iPod for my birthday. What I want is my own laptop."

I'm pretty sure y'all can figure out my answer to that request

Helping Me Stick to My Diet One Post at a Time

2009-02-25T11:52:00.003-06:00

In my search to know everything on the Internet, I found a fascinating site.

Fascinating in that it simultaneously intrigues and disgusts me.

This Is Why You're Fat.

Perusing these pictures is like watching a train wreck. I want to turn away, but I just cant. It's power is just too strong.

Big Mac-Chicken With Cheese

A McDonald’s Big Mac with cheese, but with fried McChicken patties instead of buns.

I suddenly feel less guilty about polishing off that box of Girl Scout cookies last night.

Is it possible to make a box of Caramel Delights last more than 1 day?

More Ways In Which I Act Like a 15 Year Old Girl

2009-02-19T09:30:00.003-06:00

Are y'all sick of hearing about my iPhone yet?

No?

Good. I promise I'll stop after this.

Unless any more good stories happen.

Anyway...

With my old phone, I had a plan with unlimited mobile to mobile texting and some extra texting tacked on for those people not with my cell provider. It wasn't a big deal because I didn't text much, but that was before I found myself in a long distance relationship.

Now my texting is out of control. It's a serious sickness. One day I decided to count how many text messages Rob sent me. There were 60. In one day. And not even a whole day. Just the 8 or so hours he was at work! And it's always really un important play by play from his day. Fortunately, Rob and I have the same cell service provider so our nonstop texting fell under the unlimited part of my plan.

When I got the new phone, I figured it was time to change some stuff on my plan. I had started going slightly over my allotted text messages, and it was getting annoying.

I played around with my plan online, and called it a day.

Then I got this month's bill.

My eyes bulged out of my head when I realized I had racked up a $250 cell phone bill! I apparently did not change my messaging to the unlimited plan like I intended. Instead I only signed up for like 1500. Too bad I had over 3000 texts on my bill! (I know. I'm ridiculous. I can't help that all my friends and family live far away. And I like to chat. And stop judging me!!) It was seriously insane.

I immediately changed to the Unlimited plan I had previously intended, and silently berated myself for such a careless mistake.

But last night I decided to give AT&T a call. I talked to a very nice lady about what happened. I was my usual charming self, and she laughed at my insane amount of overage.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. She said that since I am such a good customer and since I have already switched over to the Unlimited plan so this won't happen again, she would go ahead and take ALL of my excess text messages off!! She literally took like $150 off of my bill.

I did a happy dance, and professed my undying love for her.

And since TUWABVB had a great customer service story today too, I decided that I should give a shout out to Peggy from AT&T and all the other super nice customer service employees!! Thanks for staying nice and helpful even when dealing with airheads like me!!

The Things I Do To Make My Father Crazy

2009-02-18T12:33:00.005-06:00

I am horrible about calling my dad. It's not that we aren't close because we totally are. I think he's great, and I thank the stork for dropping me off at my dad's door.

I'm just really bad at calling. He is too. It's apparently genetic.

Anyway, I finally got a hold of him recently. Here is part of our very important convo.

ME: So have I told you about my new super awesome iPhone?
Dad: No, you have not.
ME: Oh, well I have an iPhone, and I love it. It can do everything. I don't know how I lived without it.
Dad:he went into a long diatribe about only needing a phone to make calls...blah blah blah....all that other stuff is crazy....blah blah blah
ME: Anyway, I think I have realized something very important about myself because of my iPod and my iPhone. In the life question of whether you're a Mac or a PC, I just might be a Mac. (I don't have a Mac, but I'm definitely considering the purchase)
Dad: Hold on. Wait a second. You voted for Obama and you're a Mac? Where did I go wrong when I was raising you?

Obviously, my dad and I are ~~total and complete opposites~~ a little different in our life views, but the sarcastic comment proves we have something in common!!!

I Don't Think I Can Eat Anymore Chocolate

2009-02-16T08:50:00.004-06:00

Who am I kidding? There's always room for more chocolate!

I'm a little late on the Valentine's Day thing, but Rob and I had a fun-filled weekend of V-Day celebrations.

Phase 1 was shipping Kaeli to the grandparents house for the night and having dinner at The Melting Pot on Friday. We (and by we I mean Rob) spent way too much money, but it was worth it. The Melting Pot is just so delicious. It's a testament to how old we're getting that we had an early dinner on Friday to avoid the crazy crowds Saturday. Our server told us that they had like 500 reservations for Valentine's Day. I do not miss waiting tables on V-Day. The only day it's worse to be a server is Mother's Day. Trust me. Be kind to your servers if you go out those days!!

After dinner it was on to Phase 2. Rob got me tickets to see Legally Blonde The Musical! It was so much fun. I loved every second of it. Rob hated it because he said that guys are supposed to hate musicals. Which in turn started a Valentine's bickering match because I think he was being stereotypical and macho and didn't even give it a fair chance but whatevs. I had fun, which is all that really matters!

Phase 3 happened on Saturday. I figured I had to do something to balance out the super girly night we had on Friday. I took Rob and Kaeli to Ridemakerz, and we built remote control cars. I first heard about the place when my sister went for her birthday, and I knew Rob would really enjoy it. It's basically a Build-A-Bear but with cars. Kaeli and I built a super girly pink car, and Rob picked out a black Viper. Rob took his car building very seriously, and it was a lot of fun. We had a quick dinner at Freebirds (gigantic burritos are so romantic), and went home to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.

We did so much stuff I feel like I need an extra weekend to recover.

Whether you love it or think it's a holiday created by Hallmark and chocolate companies, I hope everyone had a great weekend!!

It's Here! It's Here!

2009-02-10T22:16:00.003-06:00

It's finally here!

What is here you ask? My new Snuggie!!!

I should preface this post by saying that I've been on a weird must order random things from the Internet kick lately. I am so NOT the type of person who should order things from the Internet. First, I have very little impulse control when it comes to shopping. Second, I compulsively check the package tracking in, like, 20 minute intervals. I know it's ridiculous, but I can't stop.

and I might have taken wwaayy too much cold medicine...i'm feeling a little loopy over here!

Anyway-

My Snuggie got here today! Who knew a blanket with sleeves would be so awesome? I probably shouldn't be this excited about something that is essentially a backwards robe, but, whatevs. I love it.

Now I can read a book without the horrible annoyance of getting my hands and arms cold when I turn a page. That is just pure genius.

I got 2 because you can't chillax in Snuggie comfort alone. It's just mean. Plus, the website does this whole trickery thing, and after you place your order, they ask if you want to pay an extra $10 for the Deluxe Snuggie. It's thicker and has POCKETS! I can't resist an upgrade so Deluxe Snuggies it is. Rob's reaction to the pockets was not as excited as mine. His exact words were "Great, another place for you to lose your phone." How Rude!

Tonight, I relaxed on the couch with Kaeli. We were both wrapped in our Snuggies while watching American Idol. You can't ask for a better night than that!

Grammy Roundup

2009-02-09T13:06:00.003-06:00

I'm a sucker for award shows, so, of course, I was glued to the television for last nights Grammys. Here are a few of my very important thoughts on the evening.

I'm glad Adele won for Best New Artist. I think she's fabulous, and Chasing Pavements is such a great song. BUT - Why oh why was she chewing gum ON STAGE. If your name is called you immediately swallow it!!

I've been in love with Justin Timberlake since like 1998. He's occupied my heart for the last 11 years. He was so great in both of his performances last night. I love that he collaborates with pretty much everyone in the entire music industry, but I am so ready for another Justin album. A tour would be nice too.

I have yet to hear a Taylor Swift song that I don't love. The song she and Miley Cyrus performed, Fifteen, was so fantastic. I was pleasantly surprised by how well their duet went.

Jennifer Hudson can freaking sing. She was amazing. Now she has a Grammy and an Oscar, so getting voted off of American Idol worked out very well for her!

M.I.A, I applaud you for performing ON your due date. That is ballsy.

Blink 182 presented together. Yay! Then today announced that they are officially back together. Double Yay!

Is anyone else so incredibly jealous of Carrie Underwood's legs? I've looked for a picture, but couldn't find one. They're freaking amazing. I'm ~~almost~~ inspired to hit the gym.

Why was Kanye West rocking a mullet? I know the 80s are back, but they are so not that back.

There were a million more great things, but these ones stuck out enough for me to text about them with one of my Grammy-loving friends.

Did y'all watch? What did you think? Any moments stick out to y'all?

Google Search Mania

2009-02-05T15:49:00.002-06:00

I've seen other people write posts about the weird google searches that lead people to their blogs. I thought it would be fun to do my own list. Apparently, there are some very interesting people out there googling very interesting things. I've decided to put them into two groups; Sad and Awesome. Plus, y'all get my thoughts on the searches. Don't y'all feel lucky!?

First for the Sad
"frenemy friends you on Facebook,what do you do" - It's sad that this is such a common problem on Facebook that someone felt the need to google an answer. It's even sadder that google directed them to me. Someone should write a book on this subject. Millions of dollars will be made off of a Facebook Etiquette Manual!

"girl who has no friends" - BURN! I'm awesome. I have friends. Google sucks.

"get over it Kristi girl" - That could probably be an alternate title for this here blog!

"has anybody seen my self esteem" - Well, ok then. I get the point, Google.

And the Awesome
"how do I get my boyfriend to be like Edward Cullen" - It's a question all of us *Fanpires* are asking ourselves.

"my boyfriend is like Edward Cullen" - Lucky girl. Stop rubbing it in.

"would you really want a boyfriend like Edward Cullen" - Yes.

Three separate Google Searches relating to Edward Cullen? Maybe I should stop mentioning Edward Cullen so much?

And now for the most Awesome
"big happy hair" - I am in total shock about how many people have googled Bump Its! I seriously lost count at 15 in a week. Every day there are more and more people jumping on the big happy hair bandwagon. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only freak mesmerized by the big happy hair promise. I should contact the Bump It people, and see if I can be a spokesperson or something. They could like sponsor my blog. My hair would always be sassy and flirty. I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship, Bump its!!!

Blog Love

2009-02-05T08:43:00.003-06:00

That Girl was awesome enough to give me a Lemonade Award. Fun!!

Here are the rules:
1. You must link back to the person you received the award from. That Girl is pretty freaking fabulous. Don't click on the link unless you're prepared for lots of awesome Sex and the City references, total honesty, and lots of crazy boy drama.

2. You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!
Here are a few of my everyday must reads.
Cherish at A Girl and Her Blog. Cherish was one of my very first blog friends!

Melissa at Complimentary Chocolate She's Cherish's sister in law, which makes me jealous because I want a cool sister in law to hang out with!!

Astarte at The Muddled Sage and Literally Booked. She gets two hits because she's that awesome. Plus, I want all of you to run over to Literally Booked and start participating in our book club. It's super fun!

Sara at Blogging in Bed. She's fun and insightful. Plus the pictures of the meals she cooks always make me drool!

TUWABVB at Tied Up With a Black Velvet Band. She's cool. Even if she didn't love Aretha Franklin's Inauguration hat!!!

April at how do i stop this crazy train. This is the first blog I ever read. April is a real life friend. She fabulous and totally hilarious, but she doesn't update near enough. Hopefully my whining will sink in soon.

Tabatha at that nurse is being such a... Another real life friend who is super funny.

Chantal at Two Hands Full. She's also part of Literally Booked. Chantal inspires me to de-clutter my home!!

Last, Reasons Why I Dumped You. This site is great for a laugh. If you haven't checked it out I suggest you do so right now.

Big Brother is Watching

2009-02-03T12:09:00.002-06:00

Last week an email went around at work. Apparently, the company has issues with people streaming non-work related audio and video. The email said that the high volume of non-work related Internet streaming is impacting business related applications...increased costs...blah blah blah...starting February 3rd non-business related site access will be restricted...blah blah blah.

I know I'm guilty of recreational Internet browsing at work (cough - Inauguration - cough). Who isn't, really? I scan a few blogs in the morning while drinking my coffee, maybe add a few touches to a blog post during my lunch break, and often check what is new in the world at CNN. I can honestly say that I try to limit my personal browsing (except for the occasional really lazy Friday).

I didn't pay much attention to the new restrictions because I didn't think that it would affect me too much.

This morning, I went to get my daily dose of celebrity gossip. Perez Hilton has been blocked! Ok. I'll survive. I've got the celeb gossip app on my iPhone to give me my fix.

A little while later, I went to do a little commenting at Attack of the Redneck Mommy. Access Denied. OMG. NNNNOOOO! I can't even give y'all a proper link to her blog!

I'm too scared to do a little searching of anything else that might have been blocked.

God bless the loophole that is my google reader. It's my only connection to Perez and Tanis now.

Pray with me that the corporate bigwigs that analyze Internet traffic volumes never find out about the wonderful gift of google reader.

Questions Questions Questions

2009-02-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

I've had these in my inbox forever. The the first set is from Cherish, and the second from Melissa. There's nothing like a Monday to take care of things I've been procrastinating on!

Round 1
1.If you could be stuck at any age for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? As of right now, I would say 25. Not because 25 was a great year for me, but because I like the sound of being 25. I wouldn't go back to my teenager years if you paid me. I can't handle the angst and the drama anymore! When I was younger, I always thought 28 would be a great age. I figured that at 28 is when you really have your shit together, but I'm getting really close to 28 (August!), and I'm not sure I agree with that anymore. Lol. Now I'm looking forward to 32. It has a nice ring to it. It still sounds young, but with more respect than the 20s bring. Basically, if I have to pick a past age I pick 25. If I can pick a future age, I say 32.

2. What country would you never want to live in?
I can't imagine living anywhere except Texas (I know it's not a country but whatev...it used to be)! I grew up an Army brat, and this is the first place I've ever felt settled. Plus, now that Barack Obama is President why would I ever leave the great U.S. of A?

3. What would be the least amount of money you would have to win before you gave some away? Well, I've been trying to get more involved in donating to charity this year. The plan is to donate something every month. In January, it was for my city's local food bank. I'm very interested in Astarte's find, Heifer International. I'm hoping to bounce around a little until I find the charity that speaks to me the most. With that said, if I'm trying to give more with what I have now, then I can see myself giving some away no matter how much I won. Obviously, it would be proportionally. I'd give more if I won a million than if I won $10,000.

4. If you could know for sure when and how you were going to die, would you want to find out? Um. No. Not even a little tiny hint. I think that if I knew, I would constantly dwell on how much time I had left rather than just living my life the best way possible.

5. If you could spend a day with someone who has died, who would it be?
I just don't know how I feel about this question. Part of me doesn't want to answer it, but that would be against the rules. I'm nothing if not a rule follower. Besides older relatives, Kaeli's dad is the only person I've known that has passed away. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want to spend the day with him. It would be nice for Kaeli to have that experience since she was so young, but for me, I think it would just bring back the pain and sadness that I've worked to get over. I think I would rather spend the day with someone famous that has passed. Or solve a mystery surrounding a disappearance.

On to round 2
1. If there was anyone you could meet in person, who would it be and why?
Right now, I think it would be President Obama. I'm so impressed with him, and I have so much respect for him.

2. If you could find out when you would die, or how would you die, which one would you pick? How about neither? If absolutely pressed for an answer, I would choose to know how I was going to die rather than when.

3. And why? Mostly because I really don't want to know when!

4. Is there something that lingers in your head that you did that was embarrassing or just something you regretted you can't seem to get out of your head for good?
I have this amazing ability to forget anything that makes me uncomfortable to remember. I know there are things that I should be embarrassed by, but, for my own self preservation, I have blocked them all out.

5. What is the one thing you could not live without? (materialistic)
Only 1?! Did you not catch the "Material Girl" part of my blog title? How can I choose between my iPhone, my car, and my flat iron? It's just impossible. I need all three to live.

Whew. I'm so glad to have these answered. It's been lingering over me for weeks. Hope y'all enjoy my answers. Feel free to answer the same questions yourselves. I love Q&A blog posts!!

I'd Give Almost Anything to Still be Asleep

2009-01-28T06:42:00.004-06:00

I dreamt about Edward Cullen last night.

Actually, it was the actor who plays Edward, Robert Pattinson. Which is odd because while I enjoy R. Pattz, it's normally just the character of Edward Cullen that has me in a tizzy.

I picked R. Pattz up from the airport.

We went to lunch.

We sat on the same side of the booth as we ate our fish and chips.

It was nice.

Don't bother sending help. I'm already too far gone for it to make a difference.

Hair Conspiracy Theory

2009-01-27T12:35:00.003-06:00

My hair is seriously out of control.

Between the overgrown roots and super split ends, I am in need of professional hair maintenance ASAP. As y'all know, finding time in an already packed schedule for something as selfish as a cut and color is not always easy.

I finally got around to making an appointment with my beloved stylist. He even had an opening this Saturday. Yay me!

So why is it that when I've reached my bad hair days threshold, compliments on my hair starting coming out of the woodwork? It's like as soon as I made the appointment, my hair morphed into being perfectly healthy and shiny. It did exactly what I had been begging it to for weeks. Seriously. Even Kaeli told me that my hair looked pretty. Some random lady stopped me on the street and told me that she loved my layers. She even took down my stylist's name and number. What the heck is going on here? I had literally just decided to get rid of the layers, but, after this woman's comments, maybe I should rethink that plan.

I'm not complaining about the compliments. I love compliments, but it's just weird. It's like my hair knows something drastic is about to happen and jumps into self preservation mode.

Then this morning, it went back to being gross and crappy. I guess all is right with the world, after all.

I'm Just So...UGH!!!

2009-01-26T11:18:00.002-06:00

Why are guys totally and completely clueless?

And when I say guys, I mean one guy in particular. One I happen to be in a relationship with.

If a girl expresses a feeling of minor irritation about something on Friday, wouldn’t it be prudent for the guy to address that tiny annoyance say ANY TIME throughout the weekend? Somewhere in the guy’s head should realize that by leaving the small frustration unattended until Sunday night will turn it into a huge ISSUE. Seeing as how the guy and girl are dealing with a long distance relationship here, they can’t just hug it out. And when said girl finally calms down enough to have a conversation with said guy, why must he then avoid the issue like the plague knowing that the girl needs to talk it out? Text messages about being sorry really aren’t going to cut it. And since the previously mentioned huge issue was left to fester until Sunday night, the guy was too tired to talk about it because the poor thing had to work Monday morning. Well, maybe he should have thought about that before he left it out there to rot?

It’s not all the guy’s fault. Why can’t the girl just drop it? Why has she gotten so unbelievably pissed off that she doesn’t even remember the minor annoyance? She can only focus on how angry she is. So So So Angry. Why must the girl dwell on this to the point that getting anything else done is impossible? Why must the girl respond to emails and texts from the guy with one word couldn’t be less interested answers? Why is the girl so effing frustrated that she’s seriously close to canceling this weekend’s planned visit because she doesn’t even want to look at the guy who doesn’t seem to care that she is totally and completely pissed. She’s doing and feeling all of these things knowing that it is not solving the huge issue, but for some reason she can’t stop. She must beat the issue like a dead horse. (She is also realizing that the dead horse saying is just awful.)

All the girl needed was acknowledgment of the long lost minor issue. A little bit of reassurance would have been nice. It’s really not too much to ask for is it?

It is becoming increasingly obvious that the guy is not going to help the situation. He does not seem to qualify the issue as important to his day to day life. How would y’all suggest that the girl move past this without pulling her own hair out?

January 20, 2009

2009-01-20T08:59:00.004-06:00

I don't really have an eloquent and poignant post planned.

I'm sure y'all weren't expecting that from me, anyway.

Barack Obama becomes our new president in just a few hours!

I'm really excited about today. I hope my boss isn't expecting much productivity from me because I am glued to the inauguration coverage.

(Did y'all see Michelle Obama give Laura Bush a present when they greeted each other at the White House? She's just so classy. I think I'm going to live my life asking What Would Michelle Obama Do from now on!)

I'm actually green with envy because Kaeli's grandmother is currently standing on the Washington Mall. She's a high school history teacher, and she goes to DC every year with some of her students. She was at the big concert on Sunday. She's also going to one of the balls. I AM SO JEALOUS. I would trade places with her in a heartbeat!

Fortunately for me, Rob travels to DC a lot for work, and, since he' s smart, he always brings me a new Obama present. I contemplated wearing my Inauguration 2009 t-shirt under my clothes today, but then I realized that I have to draw a line between crazy and not crazy.

So instead, I took pictures of my Barack Obama bobblehead to share with y'all. This is probably my favorite thing Rob has ever brought back from DC.

Not only is today historic, but I truly believe we picked the best person to be our president. I am so excited about the future of our country, and where we are headed.

The excitement is just too much for me. I'm practically bouncing in my cube!!!

Happy Inauguration Day, everyone!!!

Poetry

2009-01-18T18:35:00.002-06:00

The 1st grade at Kaeli's school had a special activity day. I guess animals were brought in(are you guys impressed with how not informed I am?), and fun times were had by all. Things at work have been super busy with year-end and all, so Rob picked Kaeli up on Friday. She immediately informed him that an owl defecated on a towel in class. Rob and Kaeli have spent the rest of the weekend saying:

There once was an owl
Who pooped on a towel
It was the dirtiest fowl I've ever seen
He let out a howl
As he emptied his bowels
His butt will never be clean

So. Um. Yeah. How about that?

Big Happy Hair

2009-01-15T23:24:00.003-06:00

So I was watching The City, wondering if Whitney and the Australian Justin Bobby were going to take the next step, when I saw a commercial for something called a Bumpit.

I am now obsessed with the idea of getting my very own Bumpit.

I want to Bump It Up! I want to be sassy, flirty, and fabulous!

It's like the Hairdini obsession I had when I was a kid. Only I couldn't figure out how to make it work, so it just sat on my dresser.

I'm seriously tempted to buy one out of pure curiosity.

OH DEAR GOD. What is wrong with me?

I think I need a useless products intervention.

Yay! My Favorite Part of January!

2009-01-13T09:25:00.003-06:00

(besides my sister's birthday of course)

Tonight is the premiere of American Idol Season 8!! For the next 4 months my Tuesdays and Wednesdays will be devoted to the words coming out of Simon's mouth.

Remember that whole "unnaturally/abnormally emotionally attached to fictional characters" thing I told y'all about? Well, it applies to reality TV also.

I'm really excited to see the changes. Will I love them? Will I hate them? I don't know, we will find out. A new judge! Less bad auditions! More Hollywood Week(one of my fav parts!)!

Speaking of American Idol, have y'all heard the new single from Kelly Clarkson, My Life Would Suck Without You? It's no Since You've Been Gone, but I'm liking it. It's catchy, and I think it's the kind of song that I will love after a few listens.

I hope everyone has their DVRs set, their popcorn bowls out, and their ~~alcoholic~~ beverage of choice ready for tonight! Bring on the Season 8 Audition Rounds!!!

Taking Time for Sisterly Love

2009-01-13T07:00:00.007-06:00

Today, January 13, 2009, is my sister's birthday!!

My sweet little sister is 25!! Twenty freaking five.

If Kari is 25, that means I am officially getting older too. How is it possible that my baby sister is in her mid twenties? I think her birthdays make me feel older than my actual birthday does.

In honor of Kari's birthday, I'm going to share fun facts and memories of the Non-Material Girl (that's no lie.) (we are polar opposites.)( i don't hold it against her, though)

Kari was born on Friday the 13th. As a kid, I figured that meant she was unlucky and the root of all evil.

When I was 4ish and she was 1 1/2ish, I was sick of helping her get down the stairs, so I decided to teach her how to do it herself. It did not go as I envisioned. She fell ALL. THE. WAY. DOWN. My mom was not happy with me that day.

She put bread in our VCR once. It came out as toast. We had to get a new VCR.

In our younger days, we fought A LOT. My mom finally made a rule that we could beat on each other all we wanted as long as we didn't leave marks on each other's faces.

When my dad would catch us fighting he'd make us hug for 10 minutes in the middle of the living room.

She wore matching sweat shirts and sweat pants to school Every. Single. Day. when she was in the 6th grade. I was so glad that I was in 9th and didn't have to claim her as my sister.

I was so mad when she grew one summer, and became taller than me. I never really got my growth spurt.

I was so happy when she got into 8th grade. It was the first time she asked me to help her put on make-up. I couldn't believe we finally had something in common.

That's when the fighting over clothes started. We did a lot of fighting over clothes.

I caught her when she came home drunk once. Which isn't a big deal until I tell y'all that she was drunk off of Zimas with Jolly Ranchers in them!!! Can you say DORK!

She NEVER got caught doing anything wrong when we were teenagers. I always got caught. I'm pretty sure my parents still think Kari is the angel, and I'm the difficult child.

I'm the "wild daughter", but it was Kari who convinced my parents to let her get her tongue pierced when she was 16.

As a teenager, I knew when I was pmsing because the sound of Kari's voice would suddenly morph in to the sound of scratching nails down a chalkboard.

The first time I ever drove a car without parental supervision, she was in the passengers seat. We were on a Coke (the soda not the drug) run for my dad.

I lived at home for a while in college. It was my job to take Kari to school in the mornings. Her school schedule got in the way of my recuperating from long nights of "studying". I rarely got her there on time, and we always ended up in a fight over it. Then one morning, I wouldn't get out of bed so she STOLE MY CAR to get herself to school. After that whole fiasco, my mom decided it was time Kari got her own car.

Now she lives in Maryland, and we don't see each other near enough. Good thing I have a good text messaging plan!

Happy Birthday to my little sister!

I'm A Follower

2009-01-12T13:02:00.003-06:00

Y'all - Hey, Kristi. Where have you been
Kristi - Oh, me? I've been buried under Excel spreadsheets because that is the life in January for someone who happens to work in corporate accounting.**

Welcome to my very first Delurking Day!

If you stop here and never comment (and if you regularly comment, you can't leaving me hanging today!!), today is the day to change all of that! If you comment then we can become bestest blog friends! How can we be bestest blog friends if I don't know you're out there?!!

Plus, this is my 100th blog post! What better way to commemorate 100 posts than to see who has been reading my ramblings for so long?!

Happy Delurking Everyone!

Facebook Frenemy

2009-01-08T15:25:00.002-06:00

Last week, I got a friend request from a guy on Facebook. He went to my high school, and we had a few friends in common. I didn't recognize him, but I didn't want to be rude and break some Facebook etiquette rule that I'm not aware of, so I went ahead and confirmed.

Yesterday I got a message from the dude:
"Wow. I am so surprised you added me as a friend. Anyways, you hated me in high school. We were in Spanish for one semester, then I moved to Wisconsin. Obviously I am different now that I don't hate you for not liking me. How are things going. I am married with two kids, ages 2 and 1. They are awesome. It is very cold up here, but the snow is worth it. TTYL."

Dude, could you be more passive aggressive? Maybe that's why I didn't like you. (And I seriously can't respect a guy that uses TTYL. It's just not right.)

If we didn't get along in high school, why did he send me a friend request? Was he hoping for some kind of Facebook vindication? Does he expect a heartfelt apology for hurting his precious feelings all those years ago? Or maybe he's just trying to reach a specific number of friends and desperately needs me? How the hell does he remember someone he had Spanish with for 1 semester? That was seriously 11 years ago. I remember 1 person from Spanish, and that's because she was fluent and let me copy off of her tests. (I should look for her on FB!)

Plus, he makes it sound like I was a mean girl. So not true. You can ask around. I was a dork. A dork who happened to be super obsessed with her high school boyfriend and had no time for anything else. (Hence the cheating in Spanish.)(Yeah, hence!)

I truly have no idea what this guy is talking about. Like I mentioned, I don't recognize him. I haven't messaged him back because ~~I'm not 16 anymore~~ I really don't care to be involved in Facebook drama. I really have no idea what to even say to him. Is it like super bitchy to just 'unfriend' him? Is there a social networking rule book I could consult for polite ways to deal with someone you didn't like in high school?

Reason # 8,472 On Why All My Money Is Spent At Target

2009-01-07T20:51:00.005-06:00

Maverick got a new shirt.

He's not really down with doggy apparel. A fact he has proven by chewing his way out of shirts if they are left on too long.

But it's been very cold, and he seems to have had a change of heart about the extra layer.

And this shirt makes me laugh too hard not to make him wear it!!!

It's a shirt for a dog that says 'Sup Dawg!

Now that's just funny.

Sir Mix A Lot Was On To Something

2009-01-07T14:37:00.004-06:00

Good news for all the big bootied girls out there.

Having a Big Derriere May Be Good for Your Health, Study Finds

Women can stop worrying about pear-shaped figures — fat bottoms have been scientifically proven to be a sign of good health.

New research, published in the journal Cell

Metabolism, suggests the fat responsible for producing the pear shape flaunted by celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce may be active in protecting women from diseases by releasing certain hormones.
Buttock and hip fat may protect women against type 2 diabetes, researchers from Harvard Medical School found.

When buttocks and hip fat from mice was injected into other mice, their bodies easily used the blood sugar-regulating hormone insulin and lost weight.
They were also able to make better use of insulin, the main hormone linked to diabetes.
People with the apple shape, where fat is stored around the tummy, can be more prone to type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Those with pear-shaped bodies, where fat is collected in the buttocks, are less likely to have these disorders.
Researcher Dr. Ronald Kahn insisted that not all fat was bad for

health.

"The surprising thing was that it wasn't where the fat was located, it was the kind of fat that was the most important variable," he said.

"Even more surprising, it wasn't that abdominal fat was exerting negative effects, but that subcutaneous fat was producing a good effect.
I think it's an important result because not only does it say that not all fat is bad, but I think it points to a special aspect of fat where we need to do more research."
Scientists also monitored the health of the mice given the fat transplants. When it was inserted into the tummy area, the mice lost weight and their fat cells shrank. The researchers will now try to identify the hormones.

I knew my exceptionally bubbly ass would come in handy one day.

Logic is Taking Some Time Off

2009-01-07T11:30:00.000-06:00

I've never been much of a video game player.

Sure, I was excited when I was 6, and my dad brought home our very first Nintendo. My little sister could not grasp the concept of jumping during Super Mario Bros., and she ran straight into the first little mushroom man EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have fond memories of Duck Hunt, Legend of Zelda, and, my very favorite, Super Mario Bros. 3.

In high school, my dad, my sister, and I would have Mario Kart Racing competitions on the Nintendo 64. I always came in third. Always. (We even busted out the dusty Nintendo 64 over Thanksgiving for nostalgia's sake. The outcome was the same. My sister and dad raced for the winner, and I came in last. Only this time it was 4th because I made the mistake of suggesting that Rob play with us.)

As you can see, I've never really sat down and played a game by myself. It was always fun times with my dad and sister.

Rob is a boy, and boys are genetically engineered to make machine gun sounds and play video games. In my quest to continue being the most fabulous girlfriend ever, I bought him an Xbox 360 for Christmas, and even gave it to him early. I subsequently became an Xbox widow while he slipped into boy world and played games for hours. And hours. And hours.

He even brought his precious xbox to my house during our time off from work.

That's when the ~~crazy took over~~ obsession began. He introduced me to Fable II. It's this role-playing game where you make choices that shape everything around you. You can be male or female, good or bad. Rob played and became this evil guy that killed people and stole things and did unspeakable deeds.

I, of course, was a hero. I was so good that I became a saint. I had a halo over my character's head and everything. I got married to Pat the Stall Vendor. He was a nice man. We had a son. When I came back from my quests, I would give them presents. I even had a dog. I named him Max. He was the greatest dog. He stuck with me on my missions and helped me kill bad guys and find treasure. I would heal him when he got hurt, cheer him up when he got scared, and even taught him tricks. I slowly became addicted to this game. I found myself waking up early to start playing before anyone else was up to bother me. I stayed up late to work jobs to earn more money for clothes and weapons.

Then, I got to the big finish. I had to defeat Lucien. The evil man trying to take over the world. My heart fell out of my chest as I watched him shoot my dog. He also revealed that he had killed my husband and son. Evil evil man. I fought him, and won. As a reward for my efforts, this sorceress chick granted me a wish. I had to choose between 3 outcomes. 1) The Sacrifice - I could bring back the people killed by Lucien as he tried to take over the world. They would be sent home to their families, but I would never see mine again. 2) Love - I could bring back my family and my dog, but all the others would stay dead. 3) The Money - I would be granted all the riches in the world, but I would have no one to share it with because they're all dead.

I knew immediately that #3 was out. I couldn't decide between 1 and 2. I asked for Rob's opinion. He was NO help. He just kept rushing me to hurry and make a choice. In a panic, I chose Choice 1. I'm a saint. I couldn't make such a selfish decision and have all those people dead. It was the right choice. The HEROIC choice.

I immediately regretted being selfless. As I continued on the Fable journey, I was given a mansion and statues were erected in my honor, but none of it mattered because my husband and my son were gone. I missed my dog the most. Rob sat there laughing at me while I went on and on about how upset I was that they were gone.

That was on Sunday, and I'm still thinking about them.

In related news, Rob also has been playing Left for Dead. Some crazy game where you shoot at zombies. I watched him play the game with his brother for a couple of hours before going to bed. I woke Rob up in the middle of the night after nonstop nightmares that I was being attacked by zombies. Rob declared that I'm not allowed to watch zombie games before bed ever again.

Newsflash Kristi - These characters are not real. Get over it!!!

This is why I've decided that video games are not for me. I get way too emotionally attached to fictional characters. (i.e. Edward Cullen)

I am a loser, and I will completely understand if y'all don't want to be my friends anymore!

Vacations Must End Sometime or Else it Wouldn't be a Vacation

2009-01-06T00:26:00.003-06:00

My vacation has come to an end, and Kaeli and I go back to school and work bright and early Tuesday morning. I have no idea why her school decided to bring them back Tuesday instead of Monday, but I embraced it and took an extra day of vacation when the majority of people went back to the real world Monday. Of course, my body is still on vacay time, so I am awake at 12:27am when I have to be at work in the morning. Not awesome.

As I tossed and turned in bed, I realized I have seriously neglected the blogosphere. I never even gave y'all a year wrap up or anything. I'm a sucky blogger.

So here is a little New Year blog!!

2007 was a crazy year. There were lots of highs and lows and ups and downs. It was full of death and moving and a new city and a new job and Kaeli turned 5 and started Kindergarten. Somewhere in there, my beer drinking buddy, Rob, became way more than a beer drinking buddy. By the end of the year, I was praying that 2008 would be calm and uneventful.

2008 delivered. There were no huge shake ups. It was calm and peaceful. Edward Cullen and the iPhone came into my into my life, making things brighter. Kaeli has just gotten more fabulous. Rob turned out to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me since Kaeli's birth. All in all, a very fantastic year.

I have a feeling 2009 is going to be another great one. Some big things are going to happen in the Material Girl world. I also have a few goals. One of which is the obligatory "get in shape" resolution. This time, though, I have an actual reason. While perusing Facebook I found a MyHighSchool Class of '99 Reunion Group. There are people planning my high school reunion as we speak. Gasp! I am not ready to face the fact that I finished high school 10 years ago. And I am seriously not ready to face that fact with these extra 10 15 pounds on my ass. I really planned on starting Monday, but since I still had vacation brain the plan turned into a big FAIL. Tuesday is another day!! There are other goals, but I'm all about baby steps. I'll kick the others into motion once I get a handle on this whole exercise and eat right thing. Any tips wise Internets?

I hope 2009 is agreeing with y'all!

I'm in love...and I'm not talking about Edward Cullen this time

2008-12-28T21:30:00.000-06:00

Guess who got an iPhone!!!

Me!!

I'm so happy. Touch screens are so fun!

The Day After

2008-12-26T08:40:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

Mine was great.

Christmas Eve, I made a big dinner. Which is always crazy because it's just me and Kaeli!! She opened 1 present, and then she spent the rest of the night thinking that Santa would skip our house if she couldn't fall asleep fast enough. We were tracking him on the Norad Tracker, and she got more and more nervous. She was seriously stressed out about it. So we get ready for bed, I tell her to give me a minute to clean up, and we'll read The Night Before Christmas. I went in her room 5 minutes later to find her completely passed out!!! All that worrying for nothing. With Kaeli asleep, I settled in to watch It's a Wonderful Life. One of my friends stopped by, and we stayed up way too late waiting for Santa.

Christmas morning, Kaeli woke me up way earlier than my body wanted her to. Between her excitement and my exhaustion, I didn't take many pictures. We also went to her grandparents house for a couple of hours. My apartment is covered in new toys and other crap. The word spoiled does not begin to explain it. I guess that's the perk to being an only child/grandchild. Then, I took the most wonderful nap!!

Note - You know your child has seen A Christmas Story one too many times when she's saying all the lines before the actors say them!! I love that it's on for 24 hours. I think I watched it like 4 times!

Now it is the day after Christmas, which I always kind of like. It's nice to finally relax. All the stress is gone (besides what the hell am I going to do with all the leftovers) I'm supposed to be on my way to my hometown. None of my family lives there anymore, but a lot my friends are home for the holidays and Rob's family lives there. The problem is that I'm totally worn out and just want to lounge around. I'm moving very slowly. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone, though. My posse has planned a reunion outing for Saturday night, and I couldn't be more excited. We haven't all been out together in forever.

I guess I should get to packing. I'm going to try to get back here before next year, but if I don't I wish everyone a Happy and Safe New Year. 2009 here we come!!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2008-12-23T21:58:00.005-06:00

**I want to thank everyone for the super nice comments on my last post. Reading through them made me feel so much better. Honestly, it feels good to have it out there. I was beginning to feel like I was hiding something from y'all!! Y'all are even more FABULOUS than I thought.**

I have a tattoo. Just one tiny one on my foot. I've had it for almost 2 years, and I love it. It's especially cute with flip flops (the standard footwear in Texas). Sometimes, when I'm feeling like a rebel, I wear a skirt to work with heels and proudly display my tat. The other accountants are shocked by my recklessness.

Please ignore the bad pedicure. It's winter, and I've been busy. Don't judge me!

Y'all may remember me telling you that over Thanksgiving my darling sister, aka Cool Aunt Kari, gave my daughter a Create Your Own Body Art and Tattoo kit. It contained over 400 temporary tattoos. My sweet innocent 6 year old walked out of her room today looking like this.

I am such a good influence! Phase 1 of creating an exact Kristi replica is complete.

Dear Santa...

2008-12-22T14:50:00.001-06:00

I was cleaning out Kaeli's backpack after her school holiday party, and I found a letter that she wrote to Santa in her class. She has already written one at home that was full of toys.

She actually left the home list next to the TV, and every time a commercial came on with a toy she wanted, she wrote it on the list. That girl is resourceful.

I was surprised to find that she had added some things to her school list. Some of which made me chuckle. One touches on a subject I haven't really discussed with y'all. As soon as I read it my heart fell out of my chest.

A hamster - I am not opposed to the thought of a hamster. Every kid should have one at least once, right. She's asked for one before because her older cousin has one. Kaeli agreed months ago to wait until she's older. We already have a very needy dog. Cleaning out a hamster cage is not something I want to add to the list.
A brother - Um. Yeah. I had to ask her about this one. She explained by saying that she doesn't want just any brother. She wants my friend's son to be her brother. They were born 6 weeks apart and spent every moment together as babies and toddlers. They were even in the same day care classes. She was so heartbroken when he moved to Oklahoma. They talk on the phone sometimes, and my friend and I have discussed having them be pen pals since they've learned to write now.
A shooting star - How absolutely adorable is that? I didn't think like that as a kid. She's so much more imaginative than I ever was. It's a little late for Christmas, but I'm thinking that naming a star after her might be a good birthday present this summer.

Then, (brace yourselves) tucked in at the bottom she wrote that she wanted her dad to be alive. It's hard even writing that sentence. I hadn't decided if I was going to approach this subject on my blog. It's not really fun, cheery Christmas time material. I rarely discuss it. I hate how everyone immediately feels sorry for me. My friend, Maria, is the only one I really talk about it with. Mostly because she is the only one who still asks questions about it. She's a psych major, and I think she is using me as a real life case study. Kaeli's dad passed away when she was 4. We weren't married (mostly because I was young and headstrong...my parents had recently divorced and marriage seemed pointless to me), but we lived together and talked about getting married when I finished college. She really never knew a life without both of us. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

I worry constantly about Kaeli. She was so young when the car accident happened. She was there when the police officer came to the door to tell us. She immediately knew something was wrong, but death is a hard concept to explain to a 4 1/2 year old. I answered every question. Confirmed every memory. I moved us to a new town so she could be closer to his parents. I started a whole new life for us. I think she has adjusted well. She's happy and flourishing, but as she gets older, it gets harder. I've been able to grieve and move forward, but she's still grasping the concept of death. I think she understands it better than most 6 year olds, though. When something like the Santa letter happens (and it does happen but more in the form of proclaiming that she doesn't have a dad when other kids ask her why they never see her dad), it just opens the wound. I worry that I'm not doing things right. That I'm not helping her enough. Should I talk about him to her more? Are there enough pictures? How does it affect her that her grandmother can't mention him without sobbing? Does her grandmother lean on her a little too much? She is just a kid, after all. Was it a bad idea to move Kaeli so close to them? Is she really happy, or do I just think she is happy? Am I too hard on her because it's just me now? Is she going to spend 20 years in therapy because her crazy mother is overprotective and handles everything wrong? It's just constant uncertainty.

Sorry to be a total Debbie Downer. This Santa letter seems to have shaken me more than I originally thought. Kids should seriously come with a manual. This parenting thing is tough!

How Many Social Networking Sites Can One Girl Have?

2008-12-20T20:47:00.003-06:00

A few years ago I heard about this crazy thing called MySpace. Like millions and millions of other people, I created a page and spent hours and hours making it just right. I've always thought myspace is pretty cool. A lot of my family and friends have scattered over the years, and it's nice to be able to check in on them.

Then, 5 months and 90 posts ago, I began blogging. I think y'all can tell how much I've enjoyed this. It turns out that only a few of my real life friends actually pay attention to this crazy thing. I love that most of the wonderful, funny, and interesting people I have met here are people that I would never have gotten the chance to know without this blog.

Now, as a result of a ~~procrastinating~~ lazy Saturday afternoon, I finally caved and joined Facebook. I've been putting off joining forever because, seriously, how much space on the internet does one girl need to occupy? I'm resisting the urge to spend all night looking people up. Plus, I've just acquired a new fear of friending people. I'm so late to the Facebook thing that I just KNOW they are going to think I'm stupid and not want to be my friend. I'm neurotic!!

Off I go to spread my name and face all over the internet. It's the first step in world domination.

Financial Responsibility

2008-12-20T10:53:00.003-06:00

Kaeli: Mom, did you buy those presents, under the tree, at WalMart?

Me: No, I didn't.

Kaeli: Why not? It costs less! You could have saved money!!

Christmas Spirit??

2008-12-18T20:08:00.003-06:00

Before I get to my planned topic, I heard this song on the way home from work today. I burst into tears. I just teared up again listening to it on youtube. It has to be the saddest song I have ever heard in my entire life. This is not the kind of Christmas music I want to hear!! Where are the reindeer and snowmen and sleigh rides?? As hard as it is to listen to, I can't seem to stop. It's just so heatbreaking.

After work today I decided to run to Ulta (it's right down the street from me. I love how convenient it is!!) to ~~selfishly buy myself a Christmas present~~ pick up some of my favorite perfume that I just ran out of. Let me set the scene for y'all.

It's a week before Christmas. It's 6:30pm. It is, expectedly, very crowded. I browsed a little, then grabbed my new bottle of perfume and headed to the line. The line must have had like 15 people in it. There were 3 cashiers feverishly working the registers. After all, it's a week before Christmas. When it was my turn the very nice, but obviously exhausted, cashier rang up my purchases. All of the sudden, a woman walks up to the registers.

Woman: Are you the manager?
Manager: I am one of them. What can I do for you?
Woman: (all self righteous and snooty) I just want to let you know that I am leaving because no one came to help me in the make-up section.

Seriously? Why do people act like that? The store is packed with people. If she needed help that badly why didn't she just POLITELY ask one of the employees that was on the floor. I know they were out there because I talked to a very nice one while I was looking at perfume. (He even sprayed one on me that smells so good I might have to go back for it!) Does she really think that the manager cares that they just lost one rude customer when there are so many more patient and pleased ones?

I guess it's my battle wounds from serving tables for so long, but I just hate when people are rude to customer service managers and employees. Especially around the holidays. These folks are busy and working their butts off!

It's Christmas. Isn't that the time for a little extra patience and understanding? Peace on earth, good will toward men (and women) and all that jazz? Some people just don't understand Christmas Spirit!!!

Maybe she should listen to the song.

Elf Yourself

2008-12-16T22:52:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite things about Christmas is ElfYourself.com. I did it for the first time last year, and now the website is even better!!!

Enjoy! And go get your own!!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Mini Freak Out Moment

2008-12-16T08:09:00.002-06:00

Last night I was on the way home from work and mentally congratulating myself for being done with my Christmas shopping when it hit me.

I haven't gotten a gift for Kaeli's teacher yet!!!!

Their little Christmas party is Friday, so I have to come up with something quickly. I'm at such a loss for a good teacher gift. I thought about getting a cute coffee mug and putting candy and a Starbucks gift card inside. Is a Starbucks gift card just too cliche? I'm sure teachers get a million dollars worth of them each year, but I just don't have the energy to be more creative. She's a great teacher, and Kaeli loves her so I don't want to just do nothing.

What do y'all think? Is a Starbucks gift card ok? Do y'all have any better/more creative/reasonably priced ideas? I need your help Internets!!!!

Blog Busy Work

2008-12-15T21:45:00.001-06:00

I have been a negligent blogger. It's not for lack of trying, though. I have at least 3 unfinished posts that I just couldn't form into coherent thoughts. Now that they've been sitting there for two weeks, it just seems irrelevant and pointless to try and finish them.

In an effort to jump start the blog brain, I stole this questionnaire from my friend, Tabatha. If you check her #26, it says that she wants to read my answers the most. Therefore, I am satisfying a friend's wish.

So here it goes.

50 Things About Me…

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? My deep dark secret is that I used to be a hardcore smoker. I loved cigarettes more than anything. There was nothing better after a long night at work than a cold beer and a nicotine fix. It was never my intention to smoke forever. I always used college and my job as a server as the reason, so when I graduated and stopped waiting tables I quit smoking. It was (and sometimes still is) SO HARD, but I'm really glad I quit.

3. Do you own a gun? No I do not, but Rob has two. I told him that I'll only own one if I can get it in pink with rhinestones.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I'm a Peach Tea kind of girl

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the appointment. I dread the yearly girl business appointment more than anything.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I don't generally think of hot dogs, but now I'm thinking a chili cheese dog sounds delish

7. Favorite Christmas Song? Frosty the Snowman I know, I'm a total dork for that.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? COFFEE! Lots and lots of coffee.

9. Can you do push ups? I do push up bras. Does that count?

10. What is your favorite movie? Such a hard question. I'm a movie junkie, so there are so many favorites. The Princess Bride is my favorite from when I was a kid. I love stupid comedies like Zoolander, Superbad, and Stepbrothers. A League of Their Own is very very high on the list.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I have a ring with Kaeli's birthstone that I got for Mother's Day one year that I love.

12. Favorite hobby? I don't think I'm a hobby type of girl. I like to do a lot of things, but I don't consider shopping and blog reading hobbies.

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? That's a big fat NO. I'm the youngest and least experienced in my group which leads to me feeling like a total idiot sometimes. I do think they are ~~annoyed~~ amazed at my pop culture knowledge.

14. Do you have ADD? No. It feels like it sometimes, though

15. What’s one trait that you dislike about yourself? I worry about things that are beyond my control way too much. I think I tend to be a little lazy also

16. Middle name(s)- Marie

17. Name a thought at this moment- I should be getting ready for bed.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: I didn't buy anything yesterday, but over the weekend I bought a Christmas present for Rob's almost SIL, finally got my Christmas cards made and ordered, and wrapping paper to finish all the presents

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly have: coffee, diet coke w/lime, anything with vodka

20. Current worry right now? I just checked on my daughter to find her sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. Why would she choose that over her big comfy bed? Should I move her to her bed? Is sleeping on the floor really a good idea?

21. Current dislike right now? The cough I'm hearing from Kaeli's room. While she sleeps on the floor.

22. Favorite place to be? On my couch watching movies

23. How did you bring in the New Year? At a party with Rob and his friends

24. Favorite vacation spot? Anywhere that has alcohol

25. Name three people who will complete this? I'm not sure. Tab already did it. Maybe Cherish? Coming up with 3 people is hard.

26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? Honestly, everyone. I love when people fill these things out.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? It's blue with ruffles. It's one of my favorites.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I'm not sure that I ever have. I'm totally cool with cotton.

29. Can you whistle? No. I've tried and tried, but the ability to whistle eludes me.

30. Favorite color? Purple Purple Purple

31. Would you be a pirate? I don't think I could pull off the look. Eye patches and peg legs aren't really my thing.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower. It would be cruel and unusual punishment for anyone in the vicinity.

33. Favorite girl’s name? Kaeli, of course. I love baby names (I'm totally addicted to Swistle's Baby Names). My favorite changes, but I'm really loving Sophie and Harper right now.

34. Favorite boy’s name? Sawyer, Holden, and Brody

35. What’s in your pocket right now? My cell phone

36. Last person that made you laugh? Kaeli

37. Best bed sheets as a child? I had NKOTB sheets and comforter when I was 9. I loved those so so much.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? You know that fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and your index finger? I cut it open on a margarita glass when I was bartending one Valentine's Day. I had to get 10 stitches. Not Fun.

39. Do you love where you live? I really really don't.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3! 3 tvs, and there are only 2 people in my house. How crazy is that?

41. Who would you like to meet? Tough one. I think I'd like to meet the cast of The View. I don't know why, but I wish I was on that show!! And Perez Hilton because he seems like a fun dude to hang out with. And Edward Cullen.

42. How many dogs do you have? One very badly behaved dog.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? Hopefully, it is more of a complete adoration of all things Kristi

45. What is your favorite fictional book? This is even harder than the movie question. I read so many that it's hard to choose a favorite. I'm more into authors I think. I tend to be very loyal when I find one that I like. I'm still totally obsessed with Twilight. Also, anything by Cecelia Ahern. If you haven't read her, I suggest you do it right now. I've been considering a whole post about her greatness in one of my Book Nerd Editions!! I love The Wheel of Time and The Sword of Truth Series. Confessions of a Shopaholic Series. I could go on and on.

46. What is your favorite candy? Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Peanut Butter M&Ms. I like peanut butter.

47. What is your favorite sports team? Football makes me happy! (I'm in the semifinal playoff game for my work fantasy league!!) Go Houston Texans!! I've always loved the Kansas City Chiefs, but they are super sucking lately. I like the Manning brothers so I root for the Colts and the Giants too. With every fiber of my being, I hate the Oakland Raiders.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I've never really thought about that before. How depressing. My family would probably pick something sweet and nice, but I say that they should go a little crazy and do a New Kids on the Block/N*Sync/Britney Spears medley. That would be awesome.

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping. Staying up past 11pm is impossible in my rapidly increasing age.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Bed comfortable. Mondays Suck. Don't want to get up. How late would I be if I push the snooze one more time?

Diva in Training

2008-12-04T23:09:00.004-06:00

Alternate Titles: What I Find When Checking on My Sleeping Daughter or The Picture I Will Use Against Her When She is a Bratty Teenager

This is a first.

I assume she is wearing a sleeping mask to bed because Heaven forbid that any light (or camera flashes) should interupt her precious beauty sleep.

What have I created?

What Is Up With This Trend?

2008-12-02T09:00:00.002-06:00

I love a great headband. One of my favorite things about Gossip Girls is all of Blair's adorable headbands

So cute. So trendy. Such a great way to keep your hair out of your face.

Kaeli has lots of fabulous headbands.

But I just don't get this look.

It's everywhere, and I just don't understand it. Why? Why are they doing this? It looks so ridiculous. Who thought that this was cool? And why are others following?

Are there others out there that hate this too? I can't be the only one, right?!

Thanksgiving - Roundup Edition

2008-12-01T13:16:00.001-06:00

I feel a little late posting this, but I’ve been busy busy busy! I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! Mine was great. Lots of good food and fun times with my family. The pies turned out fantastic, and everyone was super impressed with my domestic skills!

It was so great spending time with my family. We really don’t get together near as much as we should. Geography is a Bitch.

I haven’t gotten the full update from my dad yet, but Rob seemed to be a hit. It was nice meeting Kari’s new boyfriend, also. He seemed cool. Kaeli had a lot of fun playing with him.

Thursday night (after we turned off the A&M game because it was just too sad to watch), my dad brought out a bunch of stuff that my sister and I left at our old house when we moved out. The majority of it was Kari’s, but he has been holding on to a necklace of mine for years. I thought I had lost it! I'm so glad to have it back. Then, he did the unthinkable and pulled out all kinds of embarrassing pictures of me for Rob to look at. So uncool. I was really trying to hide some of my uglier years from him.

Kaeli was spoiled rotten by my sister. I didn’t really exist in her eyes the entire time Kari was around. I think she even considered trying to go home with her instead of me!! Cool Aunt Kari bought her this Make Your Own Body Art Kit (!!!!), and they put fake tattoos all over themselves. Payback will be sweet. When Kari has kids I will buy the most ridiculous presents I can find.

Kansas City is freaking cold. Maybe it’s just the temperature spoiled Texan in me, but I don’t think I ever felt warm. I saw people walking around in shorts when I had, like, 6 sweaters on at all times. It even started snowing Saturday before we left.

I was sad to leave my family, but I was so glad to be heading home. Then, I felt a little weird because I don’t really consider my dad’s house ‘home’ anymore. It’s not the house I grew up in. I didn’t even know which drawer had the spoons. I guess the time has come. I’m a (quasi) adult with a life separate from my parents.

I also brought back a really nasty cold. I guess the weather changes screwed me up. We got to Rob’s early evening on Saturday. I was planning on leaving early Sunday to get home, but the cold knocked me on my ass. I left late and ended up spending 7 hours (almost double the normal amount of time) trying to get home. Traffic was insane. I really don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to pull up to my apartment!

That’s it. My holiday in a nutshell. Now it’s back to the daily grind and waiting excitedly for Christmas!!!!!

Thanksgiving - Preparing Edition

2008-11-25T08:35:00.003-06:00

I love Thanksgiving!

I'm heading to Kansas City. Home of the Chiefs, the Royals, and my Dad!! It's my favorite place to have Thanksgiving. My dad is the youngest of 10 kids, so there are lots and lots of uncles, aunts, cousins, 2nd cousins, and 1st cousins once removed that get together to celebrate. This year is super awesome because I convinced my sister that if she really loved me she would make the trip from Maryland to Kansas City also. Which means that my dad, me, my sister, and my daughter will all be under the same roof for like 4 days! It sounds sad, but it has been forever since we've all been together. Damn living in different parts of the country.

Last year, Kaeli and I flew to KC. I'm a nervous flyer. The take off and landing freak me out every time. It's so bad that Kaeli reaches over to hold my hand when the plane starts moving. She loves flying, and tells me I'm silly for being scared. Role reversal much? This year, I decided to make it a ROADTRIP. The plan is to leave tonight for Rob's house, stay the night, and then the 3 of us will make the 8 hour drive to KC early Wednesday. It's really not that bad because I plan on making Rob do all the driving. I have the 4th Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, to read. I can't be expected to focus on the road!

Did y'all catch the very important part of the above paragraph? Rob is coming with me. To my dad's. For Thanksgiving. My dad met Rob once before we were dating, but claims he has no recollection of it. Which means, that Rob and my dad are meeting for the first time. At my dad's house. For Thanksgiving. I'm bringing a boy to my dad's house. For Thanksgiving. So weird. It's almost like I'm a grown up in a serious relationship or something.

The even weirder part is that my sister is bringing her new ~~boyfriend~~ ~~suitor~~ ~~gentleman caller~~ ~~male companion~~ friend. I don't really know what to call him because, apparently, the little sis believes in this whole freewheeling, we're too cool for labels, we're just hanging out type of thing.

So to recap - My sister and I are BOTH bringing the boys (her's is newer than mine) in our lives to my dad's house. For Thanksgiving. It's freaking me out. I swear that just last week, we were teenagers crammed in the back of my dad's Ford Thunderbird, arguing over leg space, and annoyed that we had to make the trip to Missouri for Thanksgiving again.

Can you believe there is more awesomeness to this post?

I've mentioned how my kitchen skills are absolutely nonexistent before. Well, there is one exception. It's a Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake that my aunt used to make every year. It's full of double layer deliciousness. My mother loved it so much that she got the recipe, and she taught me how to make it. As soon as I was old enough, it became my job to make this dessert whenever requested. The problem is that over the years of growing up and moving, I somehow lost the beloved recipe. I had bits and pieces in my head, but not the whole thing. Well, over the last 2 months, I've racked my brain, searched the internet, done some testing, and come up with the recipe!! No one has had it since my aunt passed away years and years ago. My dad let it slip that I'm making it this year, and I have some very excited relatives expecting it. It's a lot of pressure. I better not screw this one up.

I also started packing last night. I'm trying to justify 8 pairs of shoes for 5 days. I know I won't wear them all, but I need all 8 pairs. Not a single one can be left behind. I also have 3 different outfits for Thanksgiving day because I just don't know what I will feel like wearing. I'm ridiculous. It seems Kaeli has inherited my overpacking gene. The bag she created to keep herself entertained is insane. I had to talk her down from 6 Barbies to only 2. 2 stuffed animals instead of 4. Then there are the movies, music, books, crayons, markers, coloring book, and sketch pad. All of which are unexpendable. I could barely get it zipped! Plus, I'm in Texas were it is currently 60 degrees, and I consider today an absolutely freezing day. In KC, the high for the entire time I'm there is like 50 degrees! I will be spending the majority of my time in 40 degree weather. OMG. I had to cram hats, gloves, scarves, and the heaviest of our decidedly non heavy winter coats into the suitcases also.

I'm super excited, though. I can't wait to see my family! I can't wait to eat! Thanksgiving is seriously the best meal of the year!!

In case I'm not around for the rest of the week, I hope everyone has a fabulous Thanksgiving!!

Breaking News!!

2008-11-24T12:20:00.002-06:00

Perez Hilton is reporting that Spencer and Heidi eloped in Mexico!

I guess I should admit that after 3 weeks of not watching The Hills, I gave into temptation and watched last Monday's episode.

Tonight is the whole "Did Lauren Sleep with Justin Bobby?" Fiasco. I can't lie. I'm going to watch. I can't help it. It's a sickness. I crave the dirty soul-dying feeling that comes after I finish an episode.

But back to my point - Heidi and Spencer are now married. This means there might be little Speidi offspring one day. This also means that Heidi is officially an idiot with the worst taste in guys ever documented.

Stay posted in case this is just a rumor, but I doubt it. Perez is rarely ever wrong!!

What do y'all think about the union of these two? Bets are being taken on 1) When she's going to be knocked up and 2) How long until the divorce.

Ask Me What I Did This Weekend...

2008-11-24T11:06:00.004-06:00

Hey, Kristi. What did you do this weekend?

I snaked a toilet!

I don't even know what that means, but I did it. I'm probably heading into unpleasant territory, but bear with me. Kaeli got a little too toilet paper happy and clogged the toilet. So gross. Water everywhere. Whatev. This is why I live in an apartment. I'll just call the maintenance people, right? Wrong! I live in the world's crappiest apartment complex. Well, not the apartments themselves, but the staff. They suck. It wasn't like this when I first moved in, but now it's so bad. They are disorganized and inefficient. I called the number to get the emergency maintenance people, and it was disconnected. How is that possible? So, I went to Lowe's, spent $8 on my very own toilet auger, and unclogged the damn thing myself. Who freaking needs a man? I can solve my own plumbing problems. I kick ass!!

I'm also on this get my place pretty for the holidays kick. I spent Sunday cleaning and organizing Kaeli's room. I'm still in shock over the amount of crap my daughter has. The fact that I've bought most of it astounds me. I had her go through all her toys, and she got rid of 2 huge bags of stuff that she doesn't want anymore. Her toybox is still overflowing. It's ridiculous. Plus, Kaeli loves to draw and write stories, so there are pieces of paper with half written stories everywhere. I used to try and keep them all (in case she becomes a famous author), but the sheer quantity made it impossible. Do you want to know where she keeps all of her drawings and stories? Under her bed!! I swear I have never seen so much paper in my life. I don't even know where it all comes from. I should have taken before and after pictures. It was crazy, but it's all neat and organized now. 1 project down. Next I have to tackle my closet. It's out of control.

I watched Texas Tech embarrassingly lose to Oklahoma. It was bad. So so bad.

I also found the cutest ornaments ever at Target. I love snowmen. They're my favorite thing to decorate with. These are little snowmen with little snowballs inside. I think they're so cute. The picture doesn't really do them justice. I can't wait until next week. I always put up my Christmas decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love the way everything looks decorated for Christmas!!

Hope everyone else had a better weekend than me. This might shock y'all, but toilet issues and cleaning is not the most exciting way to spend a weekend!!

Tales of a Bus Rider

2008-11-21T09:38:00.003-06:00

When I first started commuting to work by bus, I hated it. Since then, I’ve learned to embrace it and even be thankful that I don’t take my car to work every day.

1. It’s better for the environment
2. I get lots of reading time
3. I rarely put gas in my car. I fill up maybe once every 3 weeks. Which makes visiting Rob less financially straining.
4. My company pays for the majority of the bus pass, so I’m seriously saving money. Especially when gas was $4/gallon.
5. When everyone else is working late, I can use the excuse “I have to catch my bus” and get the hell out of dodge!! (I don’t really do that. I just take a later bus. Ok. Fine. I would do that if it got really late)

Sometimes, though, things happen that make me forget all of the positive reasons for taking public transportation.

Today was one of those days.

I hopped on the bus this morning and took a window seat. I almost always take a window seat. Generally, I read or pull out my iPod, but today I got wrapped up in staring out the window. Weird I know, but this fact becomes important later.

A man sat down next to me. I glanced over and responded to his “Hi. Good Morning.” He seemed like a normal bus commuter. I’m horrible at guessing ages, but I’d put him in his mid to late 40s.

I continued staring out the window and thinking that I should open my book and start reading.

A few minutes into the ride the dude starts talking to me. I do not enjoy strangers talking to me in the morning, but I tried to be polite.

Middle-aged Stranger: Can I ask you a few questions?
Me: Um. Questions? Really? OK. (me thinking: you have to be effing kidding me. Why do I always get stuck next to people that want to talk to me?)
Middle-aged Stranger: What’s your name?
Me: Kristi.
MAS: What kind of music do you listen to?
Me: Um. I listen to lots of different stuff.
MAS: OK. Here’s a tough one. When I look over, you’re staring out the window deep in thought. What are you thinking about?
Me: Nothing really. Just looking out the window I guess. (like I’m really going to tell him that I was daydreaming about my boyfriend. I’m a really good daydreamer. I can zone into my own head with very little effort. All of this is almost too embarrassing to admit even here. )

Then he paused for a while. I went on looking out the window. I wanted to open my book, but I thought it might look rude now that he had initiated conversation.

He didn’t pause for long. As soon as we turned downtown he started up again.

MAS: I have another question for you.
Me: Ok. (dear god will this never end)
MAS: How about you come and play a game of pool and go to dinner with me tonight?
Me: Um. Um. Sorry. I have plans tonight. (Is he for real? This isn't really happening, is it?)

Being hit on is always a little strange for me (socially awkward when put on the spot remember), but this was just plain ~~icky~~ weird. I know guys have a tough job. It’s hard to ask someone out, but the DUDE was MIDDLE AGED. That means he was my DAD’S AGE. Have I unknowingly crossed the age threshold where almost 50 year old men think that it is appropriate to ask me out? Furthermore, he asked me out for tonight. A Friday night. Do I look like the type of girl who doesn’t have plans on a Friday night? Granted, I don’t have plans, but ~~my inflated ego~~ I thought I was still young and attractive enough for guys to assume I was busy!! I mean no disrespect to women who like their men 20+ years older than them, but it is so not my bag. Let's not forget that it was 7 AM. That is just way too early to be asking someone out. I hadn't even had my coffee yet! Oh and can y'all imagine how awkward it was for the rest of the bus ride. I don't think I breathed until he got off at his stop. I wanted to just curl into myself and die! This really wasn't my idea of a great start to my day. What an uncomfortable morning.

Rob was absolutely no help. I emailed him about it as soon as I got to work. His response? "That's awesome. My girlfriend is a bus babe." I don't think he gets it.

April thinks I should go to Wal-Mart and get one of those fake engagement rings to wear whenever I use public transportation. That’s not a bad idea. ~~Or maybe it's time for Rob to consider buying me a real one!!~~

I now have a new bus rule. Never look out the window of a bus. Always be inaccessible and busy with a book or an iPod!!!

Living Vicariously Through My Child

2008-11-19T20:09:00.004-06:00

Kaeli and I went to the store to pick up a few things. I thought it would be a good idea to let her scan the toy section to get an idea for Christmas presents. This is our conversation over a Girl Crush Hair Beader.

Me: Cool! A hair beader! I wanted one of these so badly when I was a little girl.
Kaeli: And all your dreams can come true when you buy it for me.

That has to be the most effective technique she has used yet. I seriously love having a daughter. A son would never let me have a hair beader!!!

What The Hell Wednesday

2008-11-19T13:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to our new segment WTH Wednesday!! Today, I get to talk about all the things I read, hear, or experience where the only response I can come up with is What The Hell!

(I maybe sorta kinda stole this title from The View because I love that show. I want to be BFFs with Joy and Whoopi)

- Did y'all notice that I posted 4 separate times yesterday? WTH? I swear I really do have a job, a kid to raise, dishes to do, laundry to fold, lots of TV to watch, and the 3rd Twilight book, Eclipse, to finish. I just couldn't be stopped!

- Speaking of Eclipse - **If you don't want to read a tiny spoiler then turn away now** - Bella is getting on my nerves just a little bit. I'm not very far in, but her persistence to be friends with Jacob is making me crazy. Bella, he's a werewolf and the "love of your existence" is a vampire. They are mortal enemies. Get over it. Plus, you're begging Edward to make you a vampire. WTH? Vampires and werewolves can't be friends. Stop causing trouble by sneaking off to see Jacob!!!

- A man in Florida is facing battery charges for hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich. WTH? Hitting your girlfriend is wrong. Hitting her with a sandwich is just weird, and a waste of a good sandwich!

- A blind elderly woman in Massachusetts faced having a lien put on her home for an outstanding water bill. The amount of the bill? 1 cent. WTH? The debt has been paid. This is just ridiculous. There has to be more important things to worry about than a penny.

***********************************************************

Update on the Lip Fiasco from yesterday!!

First, y'all have the best ideas! S, I've never used the rosebud salve, but I am intrigued. I'll definitely have to get some! Astarte - You are so wise. I would have never thought to use Orajel! I'm totally going to try it. This little nugget of information is awesome!

I ended up running to the store in a panic after work. The pain. Oh. The Pain. I grabbed $15 worth of lip moisturizers. Pretty much anything that didn't have the words "peppermint oil" in the ingredients. The first one was still too harsh. It burned the dry parts. No fun. Then, I tried this random Swedish one, Lypsyl. I will never be able to fully express the joy that I felt when I put it on. It stopped the burning. It felt so good. I'm in love. Before bed I also put about 2 pounds of Vaseline on my lips. That helped a lot too. My lips aren't quite 100% kissable yet, but they feel so much better than yesterday. My Lypsyl is within an arms length of me at all times now!!

Tween Girls Hearts Are Breaking All Over The World Tonight

2008-11-18T22:09:00.004-06:00

I let Kaeli stay up past bedtime to watch the Dancing with the Stars Results Show. I'm usually a stickler about bedtime. I haven't let her do this all season, but the show is almost over and she's just so cute when she watches it. I'll pay for it in the morning, I'm sure.

We got to the elimination, and Cody and Julianne's names were called.

Kaeli: Wait, what does that mean?
Me: Well, they got the least amount of votes so they're going home. They won't be on next week.
Kaeli: WHAT?! They're going home? Mom, we didn't vote enough! We didn't keep them on! We should have done better!!
Me: (this is were I lied because I didn't vote for Cody at all) Kaeli, we tried our best. They did a good job and got really far.

Kaeli then jumped off the couch and stomped to her room. She fell asleep mourning the loss of Cody. Kids sure are insane about their Hannah Montana stars. She was so upset. I feel a little bad thinking that it's funny. It just proves that, along with my lipbalm addiction and flair for the dramatic, she also inherited my tendency to get way too emotionally involved in reality tv.

Pain is Beauty, Beauty is Pain

2008-11-18T13:58:00.002-06:00

I'm a lipgloss ~~slut~~ junkie. I have no less than 5 different kinds in my purse at any given time. In fact, I have a little lipgloss purse inside of my actual purse to keep my lipglosses and chapsticks easy to find.

I'm also a Target ho addict. If I go in for 1 thing, you can bet I'm leaving with $50 worth of stuff. It's a habit I'm trying to break.

Two weeks ago, I was getting my Target fix, and I found a really fun lipgloss. CoverGirl WetSlicks AmazeMint. It's a lipgloss with Crest peppermint oil, so you get a little boost of fresh breath with your lipgloss application. How could a junkie, like me, resist. I even bought 2 different colors! How exciting to hit 2 of my addictions in 1 trip.

At first, I loved it. Such a great concept, but I'm beginning to think that I might be having some type of reaction to it!!! I'm not sure if it's the lipgloss or just run of the mill weather getting colder lip issues. I used the lipgloss for a few days, but then my lips started seriously hurting. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like they burn on the outer edges. They feel really tight too, maybe dry. They don't really look cracked or chapped.

No amount of chapstick is helping the situation. I've used the Burt's Beeswax stuff for years, but now it burns the edges of my lips if I use it. I'm assuming it's the peppermint oil. I frantically used some SoftLips Organic stuff that Kaeli had laying around (she seems to have inherited my affinity for lip coverage). In a fit of desperation, I even smeared super dry skin lotion on the edges of my lips. It didn't seem to help either.

Since they burn, I keep catching myself licking my lips. Which is only making things worse.

Like I said, I'm not sure it's the lipgloss. I noticed it last week. It got bad enough to irritate me on Saturday, and now it's agony. I haven't used the lipgloss the entire time. Colder weather does tend to wreak havoc on my skin, so I guess it could be that.

I'll put up with a lot in the name of beauty. I'll pluck and wax. I'll suffer through uncomfortable shoes. I'll spend hours getting the right cut and color. But agonizing lip pain sucks, and I can't take it anymore. I'm going to have to go and stock up on every kind of lip moisturizer I can find. Anyone have any suggestions?

It's Her World, I'm Just Living In It

2008-11-18T11:09:00.003-06:00

There have been other things going on in the life of a Material Girl besides my new Twilight obsession.

Shocking. I know.

It’s actually Kaeli’s life because it’s All About Kaeli Day.

Last week was her school carnival. It’s a huge fundraising event the school does every year. It’s actually a lot of fun. The school goes all out. There are lots of games and activities. Kaeli had her hair spray painted blue, her face painted with stars and a butterfly, and went through 4 cans of silly string spraying down other kids in the silly string pit. There was also a petting zoo, a bunch of inflatable bouncy houses, and The Rock Climbing Wall! Kaeli is obsessed with the rock climbing wall. It always scares me a little because she is so tiny, but she loves it and is pretty good at it. Plus, there was a Cupcake Walk. Kaeli talked about the darn cupcake walk for days. She was so excited to try and win a cupcake. When we got to the carnival, it was the first thing we did. But Kaeli's super shyness kicked in and she wouldn't even look at the people running the game. She looked straight at the ground while standing on her chosen number (10). The volunteers spun the wheel. It stopped on 10!! She won! Hurray! I think I showed more excitement than she did. She didn't even seem to care. She took her ticket and walked away. She got so shy that she was really nervous when they made a big deal about her winning! Crazy kid.

I also had a Parent/Teacher Conference. Her teacher said stuff I pretty much already knew. Kaeli is the smartest and best six year old in the world. She has never loved a student more. She’s going to quit teaching as soon as Kaeli is out of 1st grade because no other kid will ever bring the same amount of joy to her job. The usual stuff. Ok. I might be exaggerating a little. The teacher did say that Kaeli is a great student, she’s adjusted well to 1st grade, and is a super sweet kid to have in class. Apparently, Kaeli is also a bit of a chatterbox, but I’m not really surprised. After all, she is her mother’s daughter.

Kaeli also got her report card for the 2nd six weeks. This report card is a huge milestone (at least it is in my warped brain) because it’s the first time Kaeli received real numerical grades! Before it was all S’s, N’s, and U’s (Kaeli only got S’s, thank you very much.). The numerical grades are for the 4 main subjects. Now to invade her privacy (and brag) a little:
Reading – 96
Language – 96
Spelling – 97
Math – 95
I’m super proud of her. It’s probably crazy, but I’m relieved that she is doing so great because I think it bodes well for the future. If she can develop a strong foundation now, hopefully she’ll have an easier time when things get tougher or when/if she ever goes all adolescent on me and refuses to do homework (I might have put my parents through that phase).

In other news, it seems that Kaeli has developed an aversion to the word Dork. I can say that she is Silly or being a Goofball, but if the word Dork crosses my lips, she goes into full on freak out mode. She gets all frustrated and tells me that it's not nice and that I know she doesn't like it so I need to stop right now! It's actually really funny. (Some of y'all might be appalled at my choice of nicknames, but Kaeli is a really funny kid - when she's not overcome with nerves. It's hard not to call her a Goofball. Plus, there are loads of other nice ones like Sugar Plum and Angel Face that I say too.)

Last, but not least, I might still be feeling a little guilty about tricking her into going to bed an hour early on Thursday. I let her stay up an extra half hour last night, so that she could watch Dancing with the Stars with me. She loves the show because of all of the “pretty outfits” the dancers wear. Plus, she is the most fun to watch DWTS with because she gets so excited about the scores. She keeps her little fingers crossed and chants “10, 10, 10. Give them all 10s”. She doesn’t care which team it is (I’m rooting for Lance and Lacey). She just wants everyone to get 10s. Then when the team gets a 10, she shouts and cheers. It’s too cute.

OK. That’s Kaeli’s life in a nutshell right now. Doesn’t your life feel more complete now that you know everything going on in the world of a 6 year old?!

Gifts, Gifts, Gifts

2008-11-18T10:02:00.002-06:00

Melissa clued me into The Holiday Gift Guide over at Musings of a Housewife. There are a lot of really great gift ideas to check out. I think it will be great for some of the harder to shop for people on my list! Plus, most of the items on the guide are from moms with small businesses. I can definitely support that!! What are you waiting for? Go check it out!

There might even be some really cool giveaways going on over there too!

Why Can’t My Boyfriend Be Like Edward Cullen?

2008-11-17T15:24:00.000-06:00

I did it.

I gave in.

I'm a changed girl.

As part of my “Kristi needs serious downtime to get rid of the grumpiness” weekend, I decided that I would indulge in a little Twilight. I bought Twilight and New Moon several weeks ago, but then I got into that pesky book backlog I told y’all about. I innocently started reading, and by the middle of Twilight I was hooked, so I ran out Saturday and bought last 2 books in the series. I couldn’t face life without the complete series at my fingertips

I knew that I would like them (mostly because I enjoy anything marketed to a 14 year old girl), but I didn’t realize that I would LOVE them.

I’ve become obsessed. I don’t know how it happened, but I can’t get enough. I can’t even explain how it happened. One minute, I’m enjoying a fun story, and, the next thing I know, I’m totally consumed by these books.

I neglected all weekend chores. No cleaning got done. No laundry was done (until late last night when I realized that there wasn’t a single clean article of clothing for me or Kaeli to wear). No blogging. No reading of other blogs. I have no clue what even happened in the news this weekend.

Kaeli was so sick of seeing me with a book in my hands. I didn’t put it down. Saturday night, when I finished Twilight and immediately started New Moon, Kaeli was like “Mom, are you still reading about those stupid vampires?” I had to stop myself from telling her that we are moving to Forks, Washington so that I can find my very own vampire love. Six is probably a little young to realize that your mother is completely insane.

Rob finally had to ask me to stop talking about Edward. He couldn’t take my nonstop lusting over a vampire. I can’t help it. Edward is just so fantastic. I think I have fallen in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him.

Then, when I got to work this morning, the woman that sits in the cube across from me said that I looked different today. I realized that I must have that crazy wild eye look of someone who just spent 72 hours consumed by Edward Cullen.

By Sunday night, I had finished Twilight and New Moon. I just wish I had another day! Staring at Eclipse, but not being able to read it because of work is like pure torture. I’m not generally a rereader when it comes to books, but I’m already fighting the urge to reread Twilight.

I fully understand all of those teenage girls freaking out at malls now!! I want to be right there with them. What has happened to me?

Are Y'all Watching 30 Rock?

2008-11-13T20:59:00.001-06:00

You totally should be! It's like the funniest show on TV!!

Randomness brought to you by beer. God Bless Fridays off!!

You Gotta Do What You've Gotta Do

2008-11-13T19:48:00.004-06:00

I mentioned Monday that I was feeling grumpy. Well, that feeling hasn't gone away. For no apparent reason, I am petulant and ~~bitchy~~ bratty.

Tonight, I tricked Kaeli into going to bed an hour early because I needed some down time.

I feel a little guilty, but the quiet and the beer are easing that pain.

Throw my name in the hat for the Mom of the Year Award.

Quitting The Hills - Progress Report

2008-11-11T08:34:00.002-06:00

Three weeks ago I decided that I was over The Hills. The relationship wasn't making me happy anymore. It's been tough letting go, but here is an update on my journey to quit The Hills.

Week 1 - Monday, October 27th. This was a tough week. Could I really just not watch it? I didn't think I was strong enough to quit cold turkey. I decided to ease myself into quitting so that I could learn to fight the craving. At 9:00pm, I flipped to MTV and started watching. Then, I got up and cleaned my whole kitchen. I figured, this way, it was on as background noise. I got my fix without paying super close attention. Every time Spencer came on the screen, I just turned on the water faucet to drown out his rude attention seeking comments. On the plus side, my kitchen was super clean by the last silent glance between Lauren and Whitney.

Week 2 - Monday, November 3rd. The Hills was still set to record on my DVR. Instead of watching it, I turned off the TV and read a book. I left it on my DVR. Then, on Thursday, I did some routine clean up of my overworked DVR. The Hills was there. Taunting me. Begging to be watched. I almost caved. I figured that I was in control. It's not Monday. I wasn't a slave to the MTV line up. I was watching it on my own terms, but then I thought of Spencer and his ugly fleshbeard. I deleted it off my DVR. Unwatched. It felt good.

Week 3 - Monday, November 10th. A friend of mine called at 8:30pm. We chit-chatted for a while. When we got off the phone, I realized that The Hills was finished recording. I pulled up my DVR recorded list and immediately deleted it. This was the most decisive victory yet. There was no wavering. Just the desire to be done with the battle.

I still have some work to do. I haven't managed to bring myself to delete the preset recording yet. And, in week 2, I read a recap of the episode Tuesday morning. It's still hard sometimes. I battle my addiction daily. I miss Lo, and her quiet bitchiness. I miss the knowing looks from Lauren. I even miss Audrina's whining about Justin Bobby, but 3 weeks without Spencer has been well worth all the pain.

Looks Like Someone Has a Case of the Mondays

2008-11-10T18:37:00.002-06:00

I am super grumpy today. So grumpy that I'm even annoying myself.

I could not stay focused at work to save my life. All I could do was stare at a Excel spreadsheet with no interest in actually doing anything with it.
The time change means it's super dark when I get home from work. I haven't gotten used to it yet. It's so depressing.
It was pouring rain when I left work today. Guess where my umbrella was. If you picked on the passenger seat of my car in the parking lot of the park and ride then you get a gold star. I had to use my jacket to protect THE PURSE leaving my hair to fend for itself against the elements. I was wet and cold the whole way home.
My apartment is so messy, but dishes be damned. I'm so not cleaning up tonight.
Kaeli gets out of school at 3:40pm. I get home around 6:00pm. Her grandma picks her up from school and keeps Kaeli in the afternoons. I realize how lucky I am to have this help. BUT - Why in the hell does Kaeli never have her homework done when I pick her up? She is there everyday for 2 freaking hours, and, as far as I can tell, she just watches TV and eats junk food the whole time. It's so frustrating. She goes to bed at 8:00pm, which means that we have 2 short hours for homework, dinner, shower, and reading. I barely get to just play with her during the week. It would be so nice to have a little extra time to just hang out, but, no matter how many times I mention it, the homework never gets done. Her grandma is a teacher for fuck's sake! Shouldn't school work be a priority?

I am so crawling into bed early tonight and forgetting that today happened!

We Dodged a Bullet!

2008-11-07T11:11:00.003-06:00

HeHe. Jon Stewart is funny.

I know part of this was for comedic effect, but so much of it is true. Sarah Palin couldn't name the countries in North America. Seriously? How is that possible? Her state even borders one of them! Maybe because she can't see it from her house, she thinks is doesn't exist.

She's only 44. We could be seeing her face for the next 20 to 30 years. How scary!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all of this new information makes it impossible for her to remain a viable Republican candidate!!

Book Nerd - 2nd Edition

2008-11-06T13:39:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I get stuck in book dry spells. A book dry spell is very annoying. Nothing sounds interesting, and I can't find anything I want to read. Everything seems pointless and not worth the effort.

Then all of the sudden, my curiosity is piqued by so many books that an enormous stack begins growing on my table.

This is one of those times. The stack just keeps getting bigger. It's so fun!!

I believe the last time I regaled y'all with my fabulous literary opinions, I was reading Jennifer Weiner's Good In Bed. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book. I figured it would hold true to chick lit nature and be a light and fun read, but it was way less shallow than the title would suggest. It was so much better than I expected it to be. I can't even put into words all the things I loved about it. It was so smart and funny. I want the main character, Cannie, to be my new best friend. It was my first Jennifer Weiner book, but it definitely won't be my last.

I picked up The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd a year ago. I tried to read it, but couldn't get into it so I put it down on a shelf and never looked at it again. Then, I hit my previously mentioned book dry spell. I decided to try it again, and I am so glad that I did. I think the first 30 pages or so were a little slow which is what made it hard to get into the first time. Once I got past them, it picked up and was a really great book. Normally, I read through a book pretty quickly, but there was something about Secret Life that made me want to take it slow and really enjoy the reading process.

I've mentioned before that the new book club over at Literally Booked had it's first selection, The Heretic's Daughter. We haven't discussed it yet (which means that there is still time for more of y'all to read it!!) so I won't get to far into it, but it was very good. It's not a fun and cheery book at all. It was haunting and thought-provoking. It's definitely a book that stays with you long after you have finished it. It's not like any book I've ever read before. I think being introduced to books that I wouldn't have selected on my own is going to be my favorite part about participating in a book club.

After an emotionally tough book like The Heretic's Daughter, I wanted something light and silly. I picked up Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin. I've read her books before and really enjoyed Something Borrowed and Something Blue, but O.M.G. I hated this book. Not since high school, when my senior English teacher made us read Gulliver's Travels, have I hated a book so much. The main character was totally unlikeable. She was a spoiled brat who complained nonstop, constantly compared her life to other's, and, in my opinion, had disdain for everyone she considered "mainstream". I am so glad that I got this one from the library because no one should have to spend money to read a story that dragged on so pointlessly. I really tried to give the author the benefit of the doubt. I kept reading and hoping that there would be one thing that would redeem the story, but nothing ever came. Even the ending was a complete and utter letdown. I almost want to recommend this book to people just so that I can have someone else understand how much I hate it. Anyone want to waste 342 pages of your life and talk bad about a fictional character with me? Anyone?

That about does it for now. Time to get back to work on that never-ending stack I told you about. Stay-tuned!!!

Yes We Can!!!

2008-11-04T23:27:00.002-06:00

I am speechless.

I am overjoyed.

I feel inspired.

I feel empowered.

I want to fix America.

I want to fix the world.

Congratulations, President-Elect Obama! January can't come soon enough. I am so proud that you are our 44th president. "Change has come to America," and I could not be more proud to be an American.

November 4, 2008

2008-11-04T08:10:00.005-06:00

It is 8:11am. The polls have been open in Texas for 1 hour and 11 minutes. I should be working, but all I can focus on is how hugely important today is. Today will be exciting. Today will be historic. Today we get to elect the new leader of our country.

I locked in my vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden last week thanks to Texas early voting. I called Rob at 6:45am to get him up and out to his polling location when it opened today.

I've always been excited about elections, but this one is different. This one ignites a feeling I've never had before, and I don't know how to put it into the words the way more eloquent bloggers have.

I think it's because I truly believe that this election will make or break this country. America is strong and America is resilient, but we just can't take anymore of the failed policies that have been brought on us the last 8 years.

We need change. We need someone to believe in. We need someone to inspire us.

There is not a doubt in my mind that Barack Obama is the right person for the job.

So get out and vote today. And if you happen to live in California, vote NO on Prop 8!!!

It's Weekend Update Time!!

2008-11-03T11:24:00.005-06:00

**Warning - This could possibly get very long. I just have so much to say!!**

Rob came to town this weekend, and it turns out that he seriously impacts my blogging. I just have no time to write or even read other blogs because of all of the snuggling on the couch that we have to fit in to make up for the 2 weeks that I haven't seen him!!

He decided to come in Thursday night, which made me super happy because it's an extra night of snuggling. Then, he had the nerve to wake up sick on Friday morning. I'm not talking a little cold, he was seriously sick. He even dragged his ass to the doctor that day because he felt so crappy. The doctor confirmed. Rob was seriously sick and given lots of medicine.

Apparently, I can't let anyone be sick on their own because I woke up Saturday feeling like crap. (God forbid someone has more attention than me!) It was like I suddenly got sympathy sick or something. Nothing was wrong with me, but I couldn't move because I felt so icky. Miraculously, it's Monday, and he's still sick but I'm totally fine. I'm starting to see a pattern that I'll be fine during the work week, then once the weekend hits, I'm plagued with all sorts of vague symptoms that ruin my weekend. So not awesome.

Even with the sickness all around, the weekend must go on.

Friday, I volunteered for Kaeli's school field trip. I generally don't get to volunteer for school stuff because of work, but it just so happened that the field trip fell on one of my Fridays off. (My company does the whole 9/80 thing, and I have every other Friday off. I don't know what I did before 3 days weekends came into my life.) The field trip was at the zoo, and it was a lot of fun. There is A LOT of parent participation at Kaeli's school so there were a lot of moms and dads there. I rode with a group of other moms I had never met before. They all had at least 3 kids (2 had like 5 kids) and looked shocked that I only had one. So shocked that these complete strangers asked if I was planning on having more. Maybe I'm crazy, but telling my life plan to strangers is weird for me (but that makes no sense because I tell the whole internet about my life...whatev...i'm a contradiction), and I get a little socially awkward when put on the spot. I think I mumbled something like "Um. I don't know. I guess it's possible. One is suiting me fine for now. Blah blah blah."

I was paired up with another mom and we had 5 girls to take around the zoo. I thought 5 girls was going to be super easy, but OMG was I wrong. Did y'all know that when girls get together they shriek? A lot. 3 out of the 5 of them cried (mine included) and by the end of the day I was totally exhausted. I did learn a lot about sea lions and koala bears, though. Did anyone else know that sea lions are not born knowing how to swim? Their mothers teach them. Isn't that nice? And koala bears sleep like 18 hours a day.

Then, Friday night was Halloween (duh!). Kaeli was Sharpay from HSM (another duh because we live and breath all things Disney). We went trick or treating with my friend and her kids. It's times like this that I wish I wouldn't have told certain real life friends about my blog because I really want to vent about something that happened. I'm pretty sure she doesn't read it, but I'll leave it at some drama went down with said friend's husband,and I'm still super pissed about it. I don't even want to look at him. I probably shouldn't still be mad. It's her life and all, but I can't help it. I feel like this was just the last straw on me trying to get along with him. Which sucks because I see them all the time. I know that I'm dramatic, but I really don't like drama. There's a total difference!

Saturday, Rob made this super awesome dinner (even though he wasn't feeling very well. Isn't that nice of him). He made spaghetti, and the sauce was from scratch. He didn't just pour it from a jar! Since, my kitchen skills are nonexistent, I'm so glad he's Italian and a super fantastic cook.

Then, he made me watch the Bond movie, Casino Royale. I seriously wanted to scratch my eyeballs out. That movie is 2 1/2 hours long, and I think 1 hour of it was totally pointless. I like a good action movie as much as the next girl, but this one was not good. It's like the movie makers were trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records on fight scenes and plot twists with no concern to how it affected the movie. He wants me to go and see the new one that's coming out it a couple of weeks, but I just don't think I can handle it. I might have to suggest that he has boys night for that movie!!

Hurray to those of you that made it to the end of the longest blog post ever!! I completely understand those of you who just skimmed and/or stopped halfway!!

Have You Seen My Self-Esteem? I Think I Left it Somewhere.

2008-10-29T10:54:00.002-05:00

I picked Kaeli up from her grandparent’s house last night, and she had made a photo album. It was really cute, and it had a lot of old pictures in it. I’m not even sure where she got some of the pictures, but I guess 6 year olds have their ways.

As I was flipping through it, I came across a picture of me. Let me set the stage – I was 19. I had just gotten back from a trip to Cancun with my friend, April. I was very tan (more like ridiculously sunburnt but whatev). My hair was in braids with beads on the end (because if you’re drunk in Mexico, you have to pay someone to braid your hair. It’s a rule.).

Me: Wow. This is an old picture. I look so young.
Kaeli: Yeah, you were a lot prettier when you were younger.
Me: KAELI! That’s SO not nice!
Kaeli: I’m sorry, but it’s true. Your face was prettier.

So there you have it.

Excuse me while I immediately lose 5 pounds, get a spray tan, slather on anti-aging cream, and search endlessly for the fountain of youth.

Here I Come to Save the Day! Or Not.

2008-10-27T09:23:00.003-05:00

Kaeli has this cheap plastic top hat that she got from school. She likes to fill it with stuff, put it on her head, and then pretend she's a magician and pull the stuff out of the hat. It's very very cute.

Over the weekend we were decorating the balcony of our apartment (I feel I am not responsible enough to handle a house of my own right now!!) for Halloween and putting out pumpkins. When we went inside for the night, she left her top hat and its contents on the balcony.

This morning actually felt like fall (finally!). It was cold and very windy. Kaeli looked outside and realized that her top hat was gone. She was quite upset about it. I told her that was the reason we don't leave our stuff outside. She seemed to get over it, and when we left I decided to be Super Mom and look for the hat. After a small search, I found the top hat and her red ribbon in the grass not far from our building.

Me: Look what I found, Kaeli! It's your hat and ribbon!
Kaeli: What about my little purse?
Me: Well, I didn't see your little purse, but I found your hat and ribbon!
Kaeli: (Uncontrollable wailing begins) But I really love that purse!!

OMG. I faced the cold. I risked windblown hair. I searched. I found the stupid hat that she was upset about, and THEN she springs the cheap $2 purse she got from the school store on me. I had to spend 5 minutes calming her down. I tried to explain that there is another school store on Wednesday, and she can just get another one. It didn't help. Complete and utter meltdown. Totally uncharacteristic of my sweet little child. Kaeli is normally pretty laid back. She goes with the flow. She has been called the Easiest Kid Ever (and not just by me), but lately she has been super emotional. If she's this bad at 6, I don't want to imagine how she's going to act when the hormones of puberty hit her!

So, my plans of being Super Mom failed. Instead, I think I made the whole situation worse. I get no respect!!

Pumpkin Carving Fun

2008-10-26T20:17:00.004-05:00

Kaeli and I carved pumpkins today!

Doesn't she look really excited to be in the church pumpkin patch taking pictures with a scarecrow?
Our super happy face and cool kitty. The glitter and rhinestones added by Kaeli.

It took me 3 hours to get the pumpkins cleaned out and carved. I always look forward to carving pumpkins until I'm actually doing it. Now, I'm going to try roasting the pumpkin seeds. My mom used to do it when I was a kid, but I've never done it myself. Kaeli loves them so I guess I have to get over my whole avoid the kitchen at all costs plan. Mother duty calls!

P.S. I told Kaeli she could listen to the HSM3 soundtrack while going to bed. She's in her room singing the ballads at the top of her lungs. This HSM obsession has to end sometime, right?

Zac Efron Overload

2008-10-26T12:22:00.002-05:00

If you have a Disney obsessed daughter (or son) then you probably know what happened this weekend. An event that one certain 6 year old has been looking forward to for weeks.

High School Musical 3 hit the theaters.

In an effort to continue being the best mom ever, we have had a nonstop High School Musical weekend. Friday night was a marathon of the previous two movies. Saturday was seeing HSM3, and since then the HSM3 soundtrack has been blaring in Kaeli's room. Over and over and over.

My confession is that I actually love the HSM movies. I think they're adorable, and I may or may not know the words to every song. The fact that I tend to love anything marketed to a 13 or 14 year old girl probably helps.

Mostly, I love Zac Efron. Why couldn't my high school boyfriend be like Troy Bolton? I don't even think it's fair for a guy to be that pretty. He's so nice to look at, and the amount of times he appears shirtless definitely increases in each movie.

As much as I enjoy all things HSM, I think I'm reaching the overload point. I don' t know how much longer I can take it. The syrupy sweetness is seeping into my brain. I'm starting to think it's normal to break out in song and choreographed dancing at pivotal moments of conversations.

Now please excuse me while I create a song and dance to accompany me as I make lunch.

It's a Magical Place Full of Books, and They Let You Borrow Them For FREE

2008-10-24T11:25:00.001-05:00

I've always read a lot, but I've never been a library person.

In fact, the last book I remember checking out of the library was Ramona, The Pest when I was 8. I vaguely remember the library in my high school, and I'm not sure that I ever went in there. I did research in the library in college, but I just photocopied what I needed at got the heck out.

My parents kept me supplied with lots and lots of books. My mom was addicted to the self help section of the nearest bookstore, and she would always buy me whatever books I wanted. Seriously, how can you say "No" to a kid asking for books? (I’m coming to the realization that I was much more spoiled than I have ever given my parents credit for)

That’s how I’ve lived my life. If I wanted a book, I went to the store and bought it. At 10 years old, I had amassed a huge book collection. Most of which was sold in a neighbor’s garage sale when I was 13 and decided that those books were too kidish for my new teenage awesomeness. As an adult, it has resulted in a ridiculous amount of books piled onto shelves and thrown into boxes.

It’s only been made worse since I started commuting to work by bus last year. I’m going through books like crazy. I started thinking about heading to the library to cure my addiction, but never got around to it.

Then, a couple of things happened.

First, Astarte started up a book club over at Literally Booked. I’ve always wanted to be in a book club, but none of my friends were ever big readers like me. I considered being in Oprah’s Book Club, but the pandemonium surrounding it is just too much. I have read some of Oprah’s Book Club selections after the insanity, and the woman can pick a good book. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides was fantastic.

Second, the economy went into a crazy downward spiral, and I’m, irrationally, afraid that Kaeli, me, and the rest of the world will be living in cardboard boxes and standing in bread lines before things get better. I figured that the library would be a good way to cut back and save more while we ride out this crazy mess.

I decided that Literally Booked’s very first selection, The Heretic’s Daughter, would be my first library book. It was surprisingly easy. Last week, I registered online and even put myself on the list for the book (I was 21st in line!). When I checked my account yesterday, the book was ready for me to pick up! I went into the library (so close to were I live), and they had the book in an envelope with my name on it. I even picked up a couple more that I’ve been meaning to read. I was also given a bright shiny new library card! I felt so special.

I should admit that I felt slightly silly at first because I didn’t know where they kept the special held books, and I didn’t even know where to check out!! There were 8 year olds getting around the library better than me. (Don’t worry, I still remember the Dewey Decimal System)

Anyway, it was fun walking out of the library with 3 new books to read. (I am going to miss that new book smell, though).

I have to say, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.